Is it normal that i have a hard time figuring out if ppl close to me are lying?

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6 Comments

Most of the time, I tend to take people for their word. Especially when it is someone close to me. Like an ex whom I was super in love with a while back. He had the most ridiculous lies, that I simply just believed. And I've noticed that I rarely ever question my friends, When Ive done it on these rare occasions in the past, they kept holding on to their story and I just go with it(until I find out from someone else). This comes with so much disappointment I tend to break down and feel bad for months. I dont have a good example right now, but maybe someone is having the same "conundrum" on this site, Maybe there's something I can do to come to some kind of peace with all this, Maybe I haven't lived long enough(24 years), Maybe its simply the fact that I cant face being let down? or Am I just stupid? What do you think? Im like a blank paper around people I love, Is this Normal?

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76% Normal
Based on 70 votes (53 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Learn to be assertive and confront others about what they tell you, if it sounds fishy then tell them if they're lying and if so why. Don't say it in a harsh tone, that would probably only make them lie more, but say in an inquisitive one. Like you're genuinely curious as to why they feel the need to lie to you.

    Also you're not stupid, you just care too much. But please, please don't stop caring. It's ok to have walls up, but you will meet people who you can trust eventually and those are the people who will try to push pass your wall and get to know the person within them. In the meantime, just be wary of who you decide to give your trust to.

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    • whatdoyoumeannormal
      11 years ago

      Thank you for your comment! I totally agree with what you are saying. I like that I care... Maybe its my confidence that makes this difficult for me. What hurts me even more is that they rather lie to my face then to explain and apologise, and let me have the time to forgive or to just leave them alone for a while. Its not like i kill people who lie to me, I just want the respect and their understanding that on some levels I can understand why the person did what they did... I make mistakes aswell, I have issues too.
      One time, I even had evidence, but the person kept on lying. Eventually I managed to get a tiny piece of truth out of him. But then it was all too late, and he denied that things even happened and never took responsibility for it. A bit OT but Are some people just compulsive liars? I guess i have to make another post about manipulitive people or something..

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        I don't know why people lie, perhaps they want to protective you from the truth and not see you sad. I'm not trying to romanticizes lying, I think you should be straightforward with people, even if the truth hurts sometimes. I give my friends the same respect as you and I usually state my case about being blunt. They usually are honest with me. Personally, I think you should stop seeing people like the guy you mentioned.

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        • whatdoyoumeannormal
          11 years ago

          So wise, how old are you? Have u ever been fooled? - baadly I mean.
          Yeah, that guy gives the human race a bad rep:) Thanks

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          • Anime7
            11 years ago

            I'm 18 actually. And trust me not all guys are like that dude. The only reason that I believe I'm wise, or perceived that way, is because I've been depressed before and have had similar experiences and don't want others to go through the same stuff, and if they do I want to be there for support. So seriously if you ever have anything you want to talk about I would love to listen.

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  • whatdoyoumeannormal
    11 years ago

    wise beyond your years you are! It's pretty difficult to take it calmly when life f-cks you up. I've been through so much worse in my life. and still I get hurt by bullshit. and I never learn?whyisthat? thank you again for the support:) I hope someday I get to return the favor!

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