Is it normal that i hate it when people around me are happy when i'm down

93% Normal
4 Comments

I know it's wrong, I know it's selfish, I know it's petty of me. But when I feel sad or down I just hate on people who are enjoying themselves. I try to hide it because I know I have no real reason to be a bitch about it. But it's the reason I will push everyone away at all costs when I feel like shit, even though all I really want is some company or someone who will listen to me without judging me.
The biggest problem is that I just silently hate on some strangers without giving it second thought, but I really go all out hating on people who are good friends. Like being paranoid about them and what they say behind my back, and how they think they are better off without me being around them. The second biggest problem is that I have no way to express this feeling. Like I go above and beyond to cheer someone up when they are down, but no way in hell am I gonna tell them when I feel bad. I just kind of expect them to know me well enough to notice...but they never do. So I just build up the rage inside me and occasionally act like a total asshole without ever being able to give a real explaination for my behaviour afterwards.

It's a kind of jealousy, and I really hate jealousy. Even though I see it as an inevitable human emotion..I dont want to feel this way about stupid shit that doesnt matter. But I can't help it.

Voting Results
93% Normal
Based on 45 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • jamarcus1993
    11 years ago

    yes i understand to the fullest on that one i feel the same way even if its something little but its normal

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Not everyone feels that way to such an extent, but it's still common.

    My only advice would be to learn to apologize to the friends you've hurt in the process of pushing them away, and make sure you do it thoroughly and with abundant sincerity. If they ever truly cared about you, they will understand you were not yourself and forgive you. You might not be able to stop being hostile while you are down and feeling overwhelming emotions, but you can always do your best to fix the damage you caused to your relationships once you feel a little better.

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  • sheilajess
    11 years ago

    Yeah, totally. When one is really suffering, it's very hard to be around people who are clearly in a space where the world seems perfect and they wouldn't want to change anything.

    Because that's the polar opposite of feeling like somebody else does "feel your pain." It's just too clear that nobody around you is in fact feeling your pain at all right at that particular moment. Also that they haven't even noticed that you are in pain. Because if they had, they'd have muted the "Everything is awesome!" noise out of respect, and someone would have come over and send, "Hey are you ok?" or something.

    I go hide somewhere until my mood improves enough that happy people all around will cheer me up instead of make me think they are completely uncaring members of an alien species. Or, if that never happens, I go out and hang on the fringe and whimper into a Kleenex until someone notices and comes over and thereby reassures me that it's not that nobody cared, it was just that nobody noticed.

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    Yeah, i can understand that.

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