Is it normal that i hate “abrupt” behavior?

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9 Comments

For example, if someone immediately excuses themselves from a conversation, to the point of just walking away a split second later, I absolutely hate it. With a passion. I mean just...why.

Just communicate people. If you feel odd just tell me, don’t run away, wtf.🤦‍♀️ I do get it of course, everyone is different, it just bothers me. It doesn’t happen to me THAT often, it’s mostly in certain people that I notice it, especially if they’re prone to being impulsive. Still, I just hate it.😖 Something about it makes me really uncomfortable.

Unexpected reactions in a conversation get me too. I come off “wrong” to some people I guess. Other people come off “wrong” to me as well sometimes. (Lately in particular, just been diagnosed with “Adjustment Disorder” after a car accident) It’s just mismatched communication patterns I’m guessing?

I bring this up because I just got in an “argument” with my therapist of all people. I thought he knew exactly what I was going through, so when he raised his voice and told me I was “arguing and not listening” it kinda messed me up. Just...why. This is our 6th session dude, you don’t understand me by now? Ugh. Obviously more context is probably needed for anyone to totally get what I’m going through, but I think that’s the gist basically lol. Thanks for reading

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Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Tommythecaty
    2 years ago

    You, at least internally, just have a very controlling nature.

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    • idolomantis
      2 years ago

      I just wanted to say that a statement as simple as that, without any comment, advice, or judgment made me feel better.☺️ I may be “controlling” (which is basically true), but at least there isn’t anything else horribly wrong with me lol

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    It's weird, and annoying when someone is relatively abrupt, but I guess if that's what they gotta do that's why they gotta do.

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  • Meowypowers
    2 years ago

    No offense, but are you and all of your friends autistic?

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    • idolomantis
      2 years ago

      Nope, I’m just going through a lot and undergoing some major changes in my life. And lol, some of the people I was referring to are just a little different...one is a girl with addiction issues(clean and doing well now) who still just has some issues she developed before she got sober. She sometimes impulsively takes a break from a conversation with barely any explanation, which leaves me worrying if maybe I said something wrong. With her that’s never really the case, it’s still just super off putting nonetheless. I have anxiety issues so unpredictability kinda throws me off.

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  • techpc
    2 years ago

    Maybe they have something to do other than talk with you. Maybe they got bored of the conversation, or want to do something else.

    They aren't obligated to converse with you. I'd rather somebody cut a conversation abruptly than sit there uncomfortably talking with me for an extra 10 minutes, just to end the conversation anyway.

    Sorry about the therapist situation, that doesn't sound very helpful. I hope it works out, or you can find a therapist that fits you.

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    • idolomantis
      2 years ago

      Oh yeah, I know they aren’t obligated at all. I probably didn’t explain it as well as I could have, but it just gives me this uncomfortable, put off feeling when people suddenly act in a way I’m not expecting. It’s an anxiety thing. Depending on what happens it might kinda hurt my feelings too. Normally I’m pretty good with these things and I’m the one being there for others having a hard time, but now that it’s me who’s a little weird for once and others are just kinda not getting it...it just feels a little crappy lol.😔 It’ll pass obviously

      Thanks about the whole therapist thing. It was pretty surprising and upsetting, though I could tell he felt bad at least. I’m just gonna roll with it for now and see if it works out

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    While other people share fault in this - you can learn to make them more comfortable and willing to communicate with you.

    I suggest that you start reading some personal development books on communications. An excellent starter book is: "How To Win Friends & Influence People In The Digital Age" by: Dale Carnegie & Associates.

    I also like "The Art Of Dealing With People" by Les Giblin.

    There are more books that branch further in different directions past that...

    Highly successful people - and the people who earn the most $ are people who have learned how to communicate well with other people. Every one I have ever met got there by reading lots of books on the subject.

    I wish you best with this...

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    • idolomantis
      2 years ago

      I really appreciate the comment, and thank you for the recommendations.:)

      The odd thing about this is that normally I’m a very good communicator...to the point where people regularly comment on it and I’m kinda known for it around friends, family, and coworkers. It was like that in college too. Unfortunately, a side effect of this is that I didn’t always enforce my boundaries very well, and now it’s like something inside my head has been “flipped” basically. Now suddenly I’m hurting people’s feelings for a change, and it’s completely unintentional too.:/ I completely dislike it, I hate making people feel bad. it just kinda happens, though it is gradually getting better.

      Those books are still on my reading list though lol, interpersonal communications is something I find very interesting so I appreciate the tips

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