Is it normal that i find the concept of "toxic people" overused and ridiculous?

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14 Comments

I hate this term for one main reason, who defines what or who is a toxic person? This is not a psychological disorder, it is a buzzword that became popular just a few years ago.

From what I have seen, people accuse each other to be toxic, mostly to find an excuse to terminate a friendship or relationship. Just because things aren't perfect, it doesn't mean your surroundings are toxic. Moreover, it seems to me that there is some kind of projection issues going on, as I have seen mostly "problematic" people using this term.

I believe that before we start name calling people, we should consult with a professional and see the true reasons behind our interpersonal problems. So, what do you think people?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 18 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • CountessDouche
    8 years ago

    Ugh. I hate when people fall back on buzzwords/phrases/concepts to communicate about someone's faults, but this has been a thing for years now.

    #psychology hashtags

    "You're putting emotional walls up"
    "You can't love someone until you love yourself"
    "Help me help you"

    *vomits corn*

    Unfortunately, there's a slight element of truth to these oversimplifications, and that's why they're so damn pervasive.

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    • Shiroyasha
      8 years ago

      "You can't love someone until you love yourself"

      I actually believe in that one :D

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      • CountessDouche
        8 years ago

        There's definitely an element of truth to all of those ideas, otherwise they wouldn't be cliches. I agree with it to an extent too. However, there's way to many people that take it literally, as in, you aren't ready to be in a relationship until you're in a totally healthy and perfect and 100% functional and ideal place in your life, and who is?

        If you're in a good relationship, you can still improve on yourself whist in the relationship...the other person might encourage you. I do think it's important to be in an ok place before you get involved with someone, but it's not necessary to have everything together...if that makes sense : )

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      I have yet to hear someone tell me I'm putting up emotional walls, if and when someone tells me that I will fucking run like Hell!
      https://youtu.be/v-ESh9l_SxE

      I couldn't help it I had to post that!

      That phrase makes me think of a needy, controlling person who is trying to manipulate me, because they're not happy about my personal boundaries.

      I am curious, OP, as to whether or not someone(s) have called you toxic. I'm saying I'm not toxic, but you seem to be taking all of this way too personally.

      https://youtu.be/-tNKF83Q_pk

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  • horny_simpletons
    8 years ago

    In my opinion, a "toxic person" is abusive in some way or emotionally drains you.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      That's how I see it!

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    • shuggy-chan
      8 years ago

      Or Britney Spears

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    I bet The Toxic Avenger thinks it's ridiculous too.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Pretty sure it's something Dr Phil just made up...

    I don't find the concept too ridiculous; it has a valid use and meaning, imo. But it IS a buzzword that gets thrown around and misused way too much.
    And like you said, sometimes it says more about the person using it - it's a very convenient "cover-all-bases-without-being-specific" label to try and attack someone with, or attempt to remove blame from yourself.

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    • scotbpens
      5 years ago

      The book "Toxic Parents," written by Dr. Susan Forward, was published in 1989, predating Dr. Phil's fame by a decade.

      And I don't have to worry about toxic people, because I'm not a cannibal.

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  • VirgilManly
    8 years ago

    I have this feeling that maybe someone told you that you were a "toxic" person.
    Am I right?
    Otherwise why would you give a fuck about anyone calling someone else a toxic person.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      I think you hit the nail on the head!
      :-)
      Bravo!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I have been called "toxic" before as a joke, but no one has ever terminated their relationship with me or anything serious. I actually don't feel explaining myself is necessary, but I knew this question would come.... so meh.

      Why would I "give a fuck"? Well, your question seems to come from a very individualistic point of view. Any paradigm that becomes so widespread in society deserves attention from everyone. Besides it is just utterly cringe-worthy when 75% of your friends share posts about this topic or your boss uses the term in a professional context.

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      • VirgilManly
        8 years ago

        Maybe it's just in the circles you travel.

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