Is it normal that i find it a good thing if he's playing hard to get?

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7 Comments

If he's playing hard to get then that means he does care and is hurt by a situation. Thats how I see it. This week, my bf and I haven't talked much and of course, who's fault is it? His. We left off one day great and all of a sudden, he doesn't bother responding to my messages and contacts me the next day (thurs) at the end of the night. Do I respond? Nah. First of all, it was nothing what he sent me really...I think he just wanted to let me know in a way that he's not avoiding me after so many of these times happening. But I know if I responded, he wouldn't have replied back and I would feel like I'm making it okay for him to go MIA when its not. So the next day (fri) I didn't talk to him at all because I'm tired of licking his ass and not getting anything back. Finally until again at the end of the night, he messaged me. Another simple message about his window or something. Didn't reply to that one either. I really wanted to but like I said, I'm tired of licking his ass and if I'm being MIA to him now, he should be contacting me if everything is okay just like I have in the past, not of his window.

Normally, I would contact him asking whats wrong but not this time cause I didnt want to be feel like Im being taken advantage of. Finally, today in the morning, I decided to contact him but he hasn't even opened my message as if hes trying to make me wait or panic when really, he should be happy to hear from me. So the fact that hes now playing hard to get just like I have been shows me he's butthurt meaning he does care and overall its a good thing. I know this all sounds immature playing games and so on, but honestly it all goes back to its his fault for always disappearing like that. Ive made it clear to him its not right and he feels as if its not a big deal. There is no excuse as to why hes not contacting me all for days. Obviously, he decided to contact me in the evening when he noticed I was playing his game of being MIA and he thinks just by contacting me at the end of the day, I'm gonna go back to licking his ass. Not this time. He can't be upset for me playing his game. It's that phrase "dont be upset when I pull a you on you." He needs to fix this bad habit of his because I'm not gonna cater to it. Ive catered and accepted enough of his bad habits but I can't with this one.

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Based on 10 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Fall_leaves
    8 years ago

    You're not helping the situation by doing the exact same thing. That gets old, if it bothers you or makes you mad then tell him, but don't play some stupid game to piss each other off.

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    • harddrystickysocks
      8 years ago

      I bet you would look good with a finger in your ass.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Its not that easy. I don't play games, but its only fair if I treat him the way he treats me and see if he likes it. Talking about it with him doesn't work. I do plan to talk to him yet AGAIN, but this is gonna be a serious, long conversation...something he dreads but oh well. If he wnt change his bad habits, then he should be expecting me to bring it up over and over again.

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  • breathingtree
    8 years ago

    That's not how you treat someone you care about. Tit-for-tat behaviour is childish in the extreme. When you believe you have a problem in your relationship, you either work it out with your partner - with no ultimatums or threats, or you break up.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    I never understand such relationships. Just because one person does XYZ, the other person feels the need to do it to even the score? It reminds me when I was 11 and if a sibling hit or nudged me once I'd slap their arm back twice... just to have the upper hand. I would assume it was on purpose even though I knew it could have easily been an accident. It seems like you're doing something similar, but you're not 11. You're right. This is immature, but you're acting more immature than him.

    There is no evidence to prove that he's toying with you. Yeah he may be being douchey, or he could just be genuinely reticent and needing his space. The fact that he said "it's not a big deal" seems to imply that -- and it's increasingly common for people to want and understand space in a relationship nowadays.

    On the other hand, you're shunning him simply out of spite and revenge. And that's weak. I will cut you some slack because both of you display symptoms of being emotionally young or inexperienced at r'ships. You should know his only only flaw here is "not -communicating- about wanting space", him actually wanting space is not abnormal at all.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah his biggest flaw is his lack of addressing his emotions. Like I said, he mentions its not a big deal for him and it shouldn't be for me because its not like hes off sneaking around with someone else or hiding something from me. And yes I believe him completely cause I know he's not like that, he's got better things to do. But the fact that I have confronted him it bugs me even if it shouldn't and he still does it, really irritates me. What makes him think that being super loving w me one day and then the next day he doesn't respond to anything I messaged him until the next day at night and its a message of nothing basically is okay but when I do it back its not???? Arghhhh. I can't always be there for him like I have been and he thinks he can continue his bad habits.

      I feel like its a huge double-standard. He obviously doesn't like me disappearing for two days so what makes him think if he does it, that's okay? If he can sympathize and be like "ok now I get what you mean by going mia, I'll try to be more communicative before I go mia from now on."

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Fuck all that mind game bullshit! Thanks for helping me to more greatly appreciate my status as a single person.
    :-)

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