Is it normal that i feel this attached to someone i never...met? (kind of long)

59% Normal
6 Comments

Okay...so hear me out.

I've known this girl online for 2 years, my online friend sort of...
We did normal friend stuff, you know..and during my rather depressed phase she'd talk with me and try to help me feel better. Everyday I'd vent or talk to her and I'd just...get the biggest smile on my face.
It'd make me really happy to get that kind of support, or anytime I'd get a message from her.

At some point she'd stop talking messaging me and I'd start to get worried...I'd panic in my head like, "what if she doesn't like me anymore?"
all the things like that.

She'd reassure me that everything's okay and stuff...
Eventually, well, she just...replaced me and started talking with another girl more than me..and now barely even at all.

The first time I found out I had a major breakdown, what she said was awful
she chose to talk to her instead of me and I had the worst feeling I ever had felt.

I felt awful for 3 months, and I still cant get it out of my head to have had this happen...

I still cry and get really emotional about it, keywords or things that remind me of her make me sad, and I just...find it really hard to cope with.

I have tried to find others to talk to but it hasnt helped at all, nothing is the same...

Is that...normal?

Its been practically 5 months now since then...since I lost her..

And ever since then, I panic getting other friends to chat with as well.
Every little thing makes me have to double check to make sure they don't hate me....

but its still not the same as her...I often find myself talking to my friends about her, how much I miss her and they can't help me at all.

I get really depressed and find it hard to focus on school at all from it. I break down when I'm alone and I just..
feel like I did something wrong.

Is any of this normal? Am I codependent or something?
I need some help here....I've tried nearly every coping strategy...it hurts so much I feel sick and cry, and I worry my head off with this. I sob uncontrollably if I go back and re-read her old messages, and the pain just keeps getting worse...its in my chest, and my throat. It makes it hard to eat when I feel like that..

I'm seriously at a wit's end with this, I don't know how to cope with it...
its been so long already.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 37 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    I chat a lot with people on-line too so I can definitely relate!

    You, however, strikes me as a person that easily get very dependant on others and that might have been the thing that scared her away from you. I am dependant too, I know what I'm talking about.

    As long as I'm not in love with someone, I can manage to distance myself a bit and allow them to have their own personal space without me constantly messaging them and such.

    I do have two close friends on the internet though and THEY are even more clingy and needy than what I am and sure, sometimes it gets too much and I just want to be able to sit on-line without having to reply to their messages all the time but it works.

    After all I LOVE IT when I know this sure that people care for me enough to want to talk to me a lot.

    I think that if you really do miss her, message her one last time and tell her that you miss her and that you would really like to talk to her more again.

    People are not always honest, but you can try to ask her if you did anything wrong too.

    That might just be what she'd need to tell you why she withdrew.

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    • BlackDragon
      10 years ago

      Thanks for the advice, I was really stressing out.
      I'll try to do it,and I enjoy when people are clingy too and it makes me happy. ^^
      I'll try to ask it all and hopefully it works out.

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        I know right! Then when people aren't as clingy as you are you feel straight out horrible.

        It's better to ask before it's too late . I have friends that I haven't spoken to in YEARS and by that time most of us would have moved on.

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  • rexxyrabbit
    10 years ago

    Do you believe in past lives? It's theorized that when you meet an individual that you feel extremely attached too all of a sudden or feel like you've know them for so long, that is a chance that you two had a bond or some sort of relationship in a past life. You shouldn't be upset though, that time has been done and spent and you have the good memories to account for it. There's a reason you two weren't meant to be. Don't pursue her, everything will fall into place the way it's supposed to be.

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    • BlackDragon
      10 years ago

      I believe in that, but I dunno...I'll try one last time for her. u.u

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Common yes, normal? No

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