Is it normal that i feel my parents often show a lack of support toward me?

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11 Comments

I am a student at a university and in my early twenties and I have moved out of my parents' house about three years ago.

To pay for my daily costs and education I have taken up a student loan and have a part-time which I think is pretty normal.

What bothers me is that even though my parents are great people, and we get along great as well they do not support me financially at all and have never done so. However they do support me personally and practically and are generally pretty involved.

In the past I have not considered this an issue, but over-time I have realized that most students around me do recieve financial aid whenever they need it.

I have asked for money several times and always got it from them, but they have made me pay it back later on.

They both work full-time and can be considered upper middle class, so theoretically there is no lack of funds.

Do you guys feel it is unfair that I kind of feel entitled to some extra money from my parents once in a while, or am I right to be a bit annoyed by them not pitching in?

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 30 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    11 years ago

    Well they don't HAVE to give you any money at all, but what I think they're probably trying to do is teach you to be self sufficient and not use your parents money as an excuse to bimble along in life and expect everything to be handed to you. Or they just don't like you.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Yep everyone does it.

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    • MarcusP.
      11 years ago

      Not everyone is entitled to help from parents

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        Why not they are your parents.

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        • MarcusP.
          11 years ago

          They can always tell you no. They want the best for you and depending on thier help is ok slightly in college but other people with less have made it without help. It's not healthy for your forward progression in real world.

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          • Terence_the_viking
            11 years ago

            a Parents duty is to look after their children till the are Married with children. What part of this do you not grasp?

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  • billy_potato_face
    7 years ago

    holy shit this post is old. but i'm new so it's like new.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    no your wrong because thats why you have a job. you say support me financially at all, well they should not at all your out of there house now now its on you to take care of your self not them take care of you financially you need to, not them i sure wouldn't want mine to so

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I am in your shoes. I am currently going to a Junior College and I moved out when I was 18 and am going to be 21 in about a month. My Mother does not have much money but I know that my Father is able to financially help me, but neither of them do.

    I pay my own rent, buy all of my own school supplies and bought myself a car. I do feel pangs of jealousy when I see students my age that have a car and laptop that they didn't pay for and that they, unlike me, do not worry about money or how they are going to pay for this or that.

    I wish that I could have had the normal college experience, but in a way, I agree with Dappled in that I feel that this is making me more self-sufficient. I honestly feel like I am more of an... adult compared to my peers and in a way that makes it difficult for me to relate to them because they don't understand what it is like to be an adult and to be staking it out on your own.

    I feel that this will better me for life later on when I get my degree and I get a better job because I have had to develop habits of frugality and responsibility so I will know what to do and how to do with a better paycheck if and when I get it. I will already know the ins and outs of buying your own insurance and paying your own bills, dealing with adult finances and bank accounts and getting loans and unlike a lot of my fellow students, I will be able to manage myself and not go bat-shit crazy with my money spending habits because I have the experience that I do have. It's a good thing to develop these habits early.

    But that provides me little comfort when I see my friends come to school after taking nice trips and doing cool things with brand new clothes on, electronics and nicer cars when I am stuck with what little having a working class income will afford for me :P

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    • plum6
      11 years ago

      you are right this is exactly the same situation I am in right how. I do realize that I am learning valuable lessons when it comes to taking care of myself financially, but sometimes it's difficult to see my peers basically leading a different and seemingly careless lifestyle compared to me.

      To me the frustrating part is that my parents actually do have the financial means to support me, and are in fact able to provide for experiences such as travelling,but they simply refuse to do so.

      Honestly, I do not directly consider my situation abnormal, but when looking at people around me I just feel like I am missing out on some levels.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    When I was at university, I suddenly became aware of families where the children were financially supported, like they may have been bought a computer or even a car. It made me question my own upbringing (I used to support my parents to an extent because they said when I got past 18, they weren't receiving child allowance for me any more and I had to make up their loss).

    I try to put a positive spin on it and say that it has made me self-sufficient (it actually has), it's also made me very odd about accepting things off people (I bought myself IIN Gold for a year just so nobody else would try to treat me to it).

    I think the model where parents help out their kids is better than what I grew up with. Especially in your case where the money is actually there.

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