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In a couple of weeks time I am going to a gig with a good friend. Afterwards I am fairly hopeful that I will get to suck his cock (not for the first time), also I want to invite him to have sex with my wife, as I long to see their beautiful naked bodies together.
You know how I feel, but I honestly think that's an excellent question! A lot of people want their partners to participate in things the partner wouldn't be comfortable with just to make them happy or turn them on with no real concern for the partner's feelings.
Seriously, why would you want your wife to have sex with another guy? -_-
I mean honestly, Ive thought of it before, but I wouldnt want it.
I dont want to share my girlfriend with anybody.
Kinda fucked up, and not normal. Honestly, I don't respect swingers very much as human beings. I personally think it's an unhealthy and unnatural behavior. People claim that it's okay, and doesn't affect their relationships, but I tend to disagree. The brother of my sister's ex fiancé and his wife were swingers, and they ended up getting divorced. I remember she said they were creepy after she went to a Halloween party at their house.
To be completely honest swingers, swinging, polyamory and all of that stuff turns my stomach, and makes me physically ill. I think it's a disgusting and immoral way to live. I've never met any swingers in my life that didn't make my skin crawl. Of course the main reason I knew those people lived that lifestyle was because they were hitting on me. YUCK!!!
Honestly, I hope you don't get want you want, because I have no reason to hope otherwise.
Hey, surely you're not suggesting that lifelong monogamy is natural? The fact that it hardly ever works that way for humans indicates to me that it's not natural, which isn't to say it's not desirable for some people.
You know ONE couple who broke up after swinging and you're judging all swingers on that? Connection between two things is not causation: maybe they would've broken up sooner if they hadn't been swinging OR maybe they'd still be together if they hadn't indulged in swinging, there's absolutely no way of knowing.
I don't think you know much about polyamory or you wouldn't be saying it's disgusting and immoral. Some people living that lifestyle are arseholes, true, but most I've known personally go to a great deal of trouble to build honest respectful relationships.
It's fine that you don't want to do any of these things, but why all the judgmentalism?
I think the couples who hit on me, especially when I was young and naive, really left a mark on me. They never told me what their intentions were, they would just invite me to have drinks and or eat or even smoke some weed then try to put the moves on me. So basically I had to slip away and felt like I was being entrapped. I think the best kind of swinger or polyamorist would be one who would never puts the moves on me, and ideally one who doesn't make a big deal about it. I also have a Pagan/Wiccan friend who was into polyamorism and was going on about how it was the fault of her main boyfriend that her secondary boyfriend turned out to be a jerk. There's more to it, but she seems to always play the victim and never wants to be accountable for anything. She can't seem to ever be able to be alone or unattached. She has this weird thing about not wanting to label friendships as platonic which I find rather odd too. She's very codependent and has poor boundaries. I like her in a lot of ways, and she has a good personality, but it's frustrating to deal with a chick who says that she hit her ex boyfriend and that it was his fault, because he drove her to it. She told me he said some terrible thing that no one should ever tell anyone, but of course she refuses to tell me what he said. Excuses excuses, I figure if I want to hit someone that's a pretty good sign that I ought not to be around that person.
Weighing in...
I'm a "borderline polyamorist" - at least in the fact that my first marriage was effectively open (she was bisexual, and I'm just a male), and while I hear what you are saying in regard to being "hit on" by friends who invited you over to eat, drink, smoke weed, etc - isn't that normal? Seriously, how often does a person you have never had sex with come up and ask "how about coming over for a couple of drinks and a fuck?" I mean, it would be nice if the world was that up front and honest, but it just doesn't happen!
One thing I have learned in my life is that no matter how "odd" something is, there are people in the world who get turned on by it. The secret to a happy sexlife is (in my opinion) finding someone who "likes" the same things you do. So, if the OP likes sucking cock and watching his wife get fucked by another man, we can only hope his wife likes being fucked by other men who have had their cock sucked by her husband! Trust me, there are more than the odd one or two couples out there who are exactly like this!
As someone said earlier (Ellenna I think) so long as there is consent, go for it. I'll even go a little bit further - so long as the consent was given without "too much" coercion - because sometimes we all need a LITTLE push to try something new...
...meh. I don't need a push I tend to push back and knock down people who attempt to push me as a general rule. That's how I roll!
I guess my big turn ons are exclusivity, monogamy and of course chill, safe Platonic friendships. I just tend to find a lot of poly and swinger people to be overly promiscuous as well as too anxious and enthusiastic to be sexual with other attractive people regardless of whether or not those people return said intentions. I honestly think I could be completely happy alone. I'm happy with my current significant other, but it if he wanted to share it would be a deal breaker for me. When he told me that he's not into sharing, and how much his ex wife disgusted and turned him off when she said she wanted an open marriage it really turned me on and made me feel secure. His ex wife is a terrible person who repeatedly cheated on him and even hit him. He's a big strong guy, and she's lucky he wasn't the type to hit her back.
I've just had bad experiences with open relationship type people so I tend not to respect or appreciate that lifestyle. Also I've met a lot of people like that who just love to be verbal exhibitionists and tell just about everyone they meet about their so called lifestyle. It makes me regret making friends with a person when they just go on and on about stuff I don't care about then get all butt hurt when I tell them I don't wanna hear about it or that it's grossing me out. They should keep it to themselves, especially if they find me or my man attractive and have respect for us and actually want to be real friends not sexual acting out partners. I don't appreciate people pushing themselves on me and I've experienced too much of that in my life, it's not worth knowing people who can't respect me. I have better things to do.