Is it normal that i feel like i'm with friends with apis, code, frameworks etc?

59% Normal
3 Comments

This is going to probably sound sad to most people, and I know this exact thing isn't normal but maybe similar things are. So I'm basically a lonely 23 year old whose only had a few friends in the course of my life. Even with these friends I would only hang out with someone maybe every other week. As you can tell I have spent more time alone in front of a screen writing code than hanging with friends. I felt like seeing the packages, apis, even the damn text editor was like seeing my friends. Same happy feeling as seeing a friend; same missing them feeling if I didn't use them in a while. Note, I've wanted friends my whole life, but I'm very shy so I don't typically talk to people, and I'm generally boring so no one has ever approached me to be a friend. At work I've made numerous surface level friendships but nothing that's translated to somewhere outside work.

So, tldr, is it normal for a 23 yr old to make friends with inanimate things you spend a lot of time with when you can't make friends with real people?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 22 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    It's normal to have a pastime/hobby/job that you enjoy. Not everybody does. You sound like you have low self-esteem. Lots of people do. You're probably not as boring as you think you are. You just need to feel comfortable in someone else's presence. Why don't you ask someone around your age to go to dinner and a movie? Even if it is initially awkward, at some point you'll relax and start to converse. If it doesn't work out too well the first time, ask someone else, and so on and so on. Eventually, you will make a friend or two and you can still write code all you want!

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  • IINtobeonthiswebsite
    8 years ago

    Your a computer geek...most are introverts. Very normal.

    You are also only 23....your career is JUST starting out. Focus on it, work hard, make something of yourself! By the time you are 25 or 26, you may own the company, or at least be a lead developer...that is cool! Money is good.

    If you want to make friends though, you got to turn off the monitor, put down the mouse, and go out of the room.

    Try to structure some "relaxation time" along with your work. Set a goal that, Friday night (or Sat night) is "friends" night. Figure out a hobby or two you like, go join a club doing that hobby. Or, if you don't have a hobby, think of one you might like. Or, go join a church....they have LOTS of group "get togethers" for young people, kind of like a "singles mingle". Get to know some, looking strictly at it from the platonic side to start with. If you go in there with the attitude that "I am going to score", well, your gonna come off like Raj Kutherpoly on TV, desperate.

    Last place to go is bars...that is NOT a place to find Mrs. Right....more like Mrs. Rightnow!!!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      thanks for the advice I'll give it a shot!

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