Is it normal that i dont want to be in a relationship but be a playboy instead?

60% Normal
27 Comments

I'm a 22 years old hardworking student, just started running my own business and already made some decent cash. In the future I see myself only as a playboy, with a lot of cash, spending weekends in hot clubs with hot girls. And I would like to say - that would be my dream.

It might be normal to think like that, but the thing is - I feel lonely at this moment. Actually, so lonely that I can't manage to be productive anymore because I wan't someone to love me, someone to care about me. My father passed away four years ago, my parents were rather old when I was born so my grandparents are also not alive anymore. I have no sisters, no brothers and actually a bad contact with my only known relatives - mum's brother and his wife. I love my mum and our relationship is perfect, but it seems like it's not enough.

But when I start to think about a relationship, possible engagement, I'm struck again, because I can't stand the fact that in this case I will not be able to live the playboy lifestyle. And, if I wan't someone to love and care about me, I need to answer with the same, and I think I would not be able to do that. Even if the girl is a 10 for me, smart and loves me like crazy.

At this moment, I spend my weekends partying & searching for one-night-stand chicks. I like it, but again - it feels like I will be lonely in my heart for the rest of my live or, in the BEST case, catch an STD.

So, I would be very happy if somebody could answer my complicated question: Is it normal in my situation that I want to concentrate on the playboy lifestyle instead of trying to create a stable relationship with a woman?

Thank you for your attention!
(P.S. not a native English speaker so probably I got a lot of mistakes here, sorry)

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 53 votes (32 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 27 )
  • disthing
    10 years ago

    Basically, if you desire disposable relationships i.e. women you can fuck and chuck, a new lady every night, then you have to realise you are equally disposable to them. Your relationship will be superficial, transitory.

    If you want to remain a player all your life, then you should make sure you have a lot of good, close friends who can fill the void of loneliness having a romantic partner would fill. People you can rely on to be there for you emotionally, who you can trust, and who you can also support.

    But you may find your mindset changes naturally over time. At your age, it's common to not want to settle down or commit. You are at the start of your career, you want to climb up the ladder, you want to explore and experience the world and feel free to do so. You may find after 10 years of doing so, the allure of the one-night-stand and endless partying is somewhat dimmer than it was. You may find you're tired of the playboy lifestyle. At this point you might start seeking a partner to settle down with. It's perfectly possible, even if in your current frame of mind it seems improbable.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • SchumpetersGale
    10 years ago

    You sound like a project for a psychiatrist, or someone that Freud theorized about. Your reaction sounds normal for the situation that you're in.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • melissa0511
    10 years ago

    maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SkullsNBones
    10 years ago

    Maybe it's not the love of a woman in a romantic relationship that your crave but the love of family members?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    have fun but dont lie then all is sweet with the girls :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • EccentricWeird
    10 years ago

    Women do that all the time, especially with the darkies. I still don't recommend it, since as men we have to remind women that we're better than them in most every way.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Do both, get married AND cheat alot.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Player 4 life Brah.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Whatthef*ck!!
    10 years ago

    Well. It's normal to have a goal. What ever it my be. Even if its being a freaking playboy. A girls personal sex toy. Lol. That's cool. I don't care to be a stripper but I would love to work the pole.
    If you need love and what not. You can find that in a friend..female friends are best at that.
    All the guys I try to just stay friends with end up flirting and just fuck it up. But that works.. Trust me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • SchumpetersGale
      10 years ago

      I don't think that playboys like to be thought of as women's personal sex toys. Also men are capable of loving friends, but in a different way (not necessarily more platonic but different in other ways assuming that both male-male and female-male relationships can be platonic, which of course they can)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Whatthef*ck!!
        10 years ago

        Yes male friends are great I have some. Depending on your taste. Males feel more relaxed expressing feelings to a female friend then they would a guy. Yet in other taste it can be the other way around. And as far as boy toys.. I'm sure no one is that sensitive.. My best friend was a stripper. So no harm done. But I respect your thoughts I do very much enjoy when people try to read me.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Dillon
    10 years ago

    Coz some damn fool accused you of being the best.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Sure whatever floats your boat.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1
      -
    • SchumpetersGale
      10 years ago

      Did that need to be said?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Terence_the_viking
        10 years ago

        Oh so i am not allowed to express myself?

        Who are you night security?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • SchumpetersGale
          10 years ago

          Getting mighty defensive now aren't we? I was just asking you a question. If you think that what you said needed to be said then it would be a simple question to answer.

          But anyway, let me just assure you of something Terrence:

          I don't care what you do in your free time, do whatever floats your boat.

          I just think that needed to be said.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          1
          1
            -
          • Terence_the_viking
            10 years ago

            haha you jester you really don't get it do you.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    Relationships are stupid anyways. Most people do not understand the meaning of commitment anyways. So getting in a relationship is the same thing as being a player. Since a player does not care about the people they are with. 90 percent of people today are players.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -3
    -3
      -
    • SchumpetersGale
      10 years ago

      Haha you are so cynical. Being interested in someone enough to have some kind of relationship isn't necessarily being a player. As long as you are straightforward and honest with that person about your feelings. What are you saying? That every relationship one has with people of the opposite sex amounts to nothing more than 'playing the field' if its not a committed relationship?

      It doesn't sound like you've been in a relationship very recently lol

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        I just been around the block too many times. So I just don’t bother walking down that path anymore. I know how it starts, end, and so its rather pointless in trying anymore. Most people do not care about relationships as none of them are really faithful.

        If you are men or a women there is no guarantee they care or will still for over a few months. So why bother doing something so predictable you know is going to end badly anyways. Ending a relationship does more though. It does not only mean you just lose your partner. If often means you lose reputation or friends which makes you look very very bad.

        If you are the one ending it or they are it never ends very well. If you can not keep someone long enough to have children what is the point? In that case you might as well buy a hooker since its less work. People are predictable cattle anyhow. So these type of ventures are illogical. Why waste your money and time on someone who is just wasting your time?

        We also have divorce that lasted long enough but they realize “Gee I don’t love them”. If you did not have children its depressing enough. Though if you have children they are the ones to suffer. children must suffer for the parents stupidity.

        You know you can do this right though but it’s a science. The only way to match your perfect formula. Oh but how do you go about doing that? You could pick someone who is timid oh but that gets boring after awhile. You pick someone with fire and they might just cheat on you. So how do you know who the right one is?

        If you pick someone easy to manipulate its not fun. If you do not pick someone you can completely control they leave. So you are either bored or get your few minutes of joy with someone you can never keep. Though no matter who you are dating it’s the same old predictable nonsense. No fun in playing anymore its just so overdone you see.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • SchumpetersGale
          10 years ago

          But on a less condescending level, I also empathize with you. I've felt that way before. But what I try to practice being mindful of is my belief that I am capable of being happy no matter what. If I mess around with a woman or date her or become friends with her (i.e. build some sort of relationship, I always try to appreciate it as a learning experience, as well as a new and fun time had by becoming close to someone. Regardless of how things end, because why does that matter? A woman cannot make me be unhappy, nobody can. Theoretically. Physical or psychological torture would be a struggle

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RomeoDeMontague
            10 years ago

            Are you saying I come off as condescending? I am sorry if I came off that way. There isn't a lot to learn about this subject.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • SchumpetersGale
              10 years ago

              No what I'm saying is I think I came across as condescending by saying that I feel sorry for you. Even though its true. Your main assumption is that relationships end poorly more often than not. I don't know what 'ending poorly' means. A fallout between partners, and perhaps between mutual friends? So what? If that happens I may be disappointed and upset, but the experience of being close to someone is always worth it. I don't hold grudges against people. I just live my life. Why does it matter whether or not I'm always going to feel the same way about her? Why does it matter whether or not she will always feel the same way about me? Relationships are dynamic. Just like peoples' perspectives, and life itself, they change through the seasons. Its beautiful. What about that isn't worth it?

              I just think that you are a jaded, irrational and misguided soul. Now I know that sounds condescending, but its the truth. And I feel that I've earned the right to say that because I remember being 16-17. I was the same way back in high school.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
        • SchumpetersGale
          10 years ago

          You haven't convinced me of anything other than the fact that life has beaten you down, and I feel sympathy for you

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0