Is it normal that i dont like any place to live.

58% Normal
17 Comments

Hi

I Born and bought up in a town.My family was a disturbed family. I saw fights in my house over money.Things,Relations,ego etc.Now when i grow up i dont like people.As i cant listen loud voices or too much chatter boxes.
I dont talk to much people but i used to talk with friends ,extended family menmers but later on found that all are same.Now i went to big city for job and spent one year their and i thought everything will be fine.New people new place new atmosphere.BUT NOOO...same i dont like this place to,,life is a hell..people have bad impression of me despite of the fact that i remain silent and dont say a word to anybody or comment on others life..I felf alone and think that earth is not fr me.I shud go frm here to god..IIN? Plz tell what shud i do,,i took every step to be happy but i am not.

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 12 votes (7 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 17 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    If you move, you can't move away from yourself. First you must fix your problems, then it won't matter where you live.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • rachel.dsouza
      8 years ago

      true

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Maybe people have a bad impression of you "because" you remain silent; not despite that fact. Keeping to yourself and not "saying a word to anybody" can sound like the ideal solution , but unfortunately it just leads to people judging you unfairly, and you becoming isolated and feeling lonely.
    Most people need friends and human contact to feel happy - it's an unavoidable fact - even if it seems inconvenient.

    And like GS said; you need to fix yourself, rather than moving away. You go to a new place to get away from problems, only to find that you're still exactly the same person, and some of those problems are internal. It can be a hard pill to swallow.
    But I just don't think you've taken every step to be happy, like you think. It's difficult and takes time. Sometimes you just have to have faith that things will improve and keep going for the moment.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • rachel.dsouza
      8 years ago

      thanks..But what should i do. I tried to love people,my Gfs .But everybody ditched me or backbite

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • victorygin
        8 years ago

        tl;dr (Stop dwelling on the negative things. Try meditation/visualisation to help your mind ease into some healthier ways of thinking. Once you're thinking and feeling much better, those relationships with others will improve tenfold.)

        It's hard, I know. theseeker gave some good advice there too.
        I know what it's like to think "I just hate people. I hate everybody" but like theseeker said, it's more complicated than that. And more often then not, you don't really hate people.
        Now, you may actually hate a few people or have had bad experiences, and it's tempting to think along the lines of: "I must just be a person that will never get along with anybody. I must be different and people will always hate me and I will always hate them!"
        But trust me, you're not like that.

        If you can't think positively right now, at least stop fixating on the bad things that people have done. It's not always possible to think and feel 100% positively.
        But it is always within your power to choose what you ^keep^ thinking about. So at least stop dwelling on the reasons why you hate people. Don't let yourself indulge in those thoughts.

        It sounds like you're probably suffering from depression. That means you won't always be able to control how you're feeling. But if you find yourself dwelling on negative/unhelpful thoughts (even if you think they are true, you still know they're negative), then you have to consciously stop yourself, and try and think of something more positive. Because that is something that you DO have control over.

        Everything we do, all our actions, start out as thoughts. If your mind is full of negativity, then negative things will certainly happen in your life. So to be aware of, and in control of your thoughts is really important in determining your actions, feelings and your future.

        In a healthy person, it's relatively easy to control your thought patterns. But for a depressed person, it can be extremely difficult to control your thoughts, let alone your feelings.
        So for now, I won't say try and think positively. More like, try and stop thinking negatively. Stop yourself dwelling and fixating on unhelpful/negative thoughts, whatever those may be.

        Read about and try some meditation and visualisation techniques. They can be really helpful.

        Also, try just *allowing* yourself to think positively and imagine positive, happy scenarios, even if it's just a fantasy for now. Don't you think if you spent 10 mins every day imagining a positive, happy version of yourself, with great friends and relationships that those things would be much more likely to happen? I think so.

        Well I'm not sure if any of that helps, or if I'm a bit off the mark with this long, drawn out (!) comment, but hopefully some of it helps you a little bit :)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • rachel.dsouza
          8 years ago

          Thank you for your concern dear :)

          Your words are giving strength to me...Today its self on one my toxic friend who always try to belittle me and seek or create situations to take out shit of me was tryng to say that I am wrong in every way...this and that. I just replied : "'GOOD...I want to live in peace and sanity so i will remain calm..I know one thing if somebody loves me he will remain with me and if somebody dont then my words cant stop them,,take care"' ,,,Tell me is it a good answer,,actually i m tryng to thought and proceed this way only ,I dont wanna think much cz it makes me feel confused and powerless,,duffer,loser.

          I will meditate from now and will keep my innerself calm so that others actions would not affect me. wht say?

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • victorygin
            8 years ago

            That sounds great! To be able to maintain that calm in the face of someone trying to bring you down is very admirable.
            It really sounds like there are actually some bad people in your life who are trying to bring you down.. that's terrible. I feel really bad for you.
            If you can, you should really try and stay away from those people.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • rachel.dsouza
              8 years ago

              yeah but the problem is that these people used to my closest person once. I am hurt with their behaviour and attitude owards me but i took a decision that i wont beg for love and wont run after anybody to justify my position and actions.What they think is now their problem,,,not mine :)

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • theseeker
    8 years ago

    Relocating can give you a fresh start and make you feel renewed, but that alone will not solve your problems. I noticed your perception of people in general isn't a good one. You shouldn't dislike other people because of your family. I also used to think I didn't like people. Upon further observation, I realized I actually love people, but there's just something wrong with me. You can't really dislike something that pretty much is just like you. Of course, there will be people you will like and dislike, but that's not the point. What I'm saying, having a positive is essential to your happiness.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • rachel.dsouza
      8 years ago

      how to think positive? i became 200% negative now

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • theseeker
        8 years ago

        Don't dwell on negative things or what has happened in the past. Making the future starts with leaving the past. Focus your expectations towards the positive outcomes that can happen rather than negative. Doing little things that make you happy can get you started and improve your mood. For instance, listening to a song you like. It's not easy, but it is possible.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • rachel.dsouza
          8 years ago

          Thanks..I am trying the same.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • nameless-girl
    8 years ago

    Listen very carefully, please. Nobody has ever cared about u. That's why your family acted like that. U were just a burden to them and to everybody else. U r the cause for your own misfortunes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • rachel.dsouza
      8 years ago

      okk...what to do now? shud i die?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Call.me.Curious
    8 years ago

    It seems to me that your past is still stuck with you, and that you have to let that go, and experience new things. I think if you find a hobby that you love, it might open you up more as a person/socially. Also, moving to a less crowded environment could help you too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • rachel.dsouza
      8 years ago

      you are right mate.
      But i tried a lot to develop an hobby.But i have job and its hectic i hardly get any time for myself.what to do?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0