Is it normal that i don't want to be fucked?

78% Normal

I'm a neutral gay male(I don't act feminine or masculine) but my boyfriend is a masculine gay.

And I'm the bottom while he's the top in our relationship. I'm sick of being submissive when we have sex. He can't even fit his penis inside of me, I feel like he'll rip me apart if he does try to fit most of it.

I want to swap sex-roles with him and be the dominant one. But he laughed at me and said everything on me is smaller compared to him, and that he won't enjoy it. Also he's more masculine (stronger and tougher) than me too.

Is there any way to convince my boyfriend to swap sex-roles with me? Or is there a way to make anal sex more enjoyable, when his penis won't fit in me?

Voting Results

78% Normal

Based on 36 votes (28 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

mysistersshadow

7 years ago

Consider getting out of the relationship.

Barring that you could try prepping first like using gradually larger butt plugs. Lots of lube helps to.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Okay I didn't think as leaving him as an option if I could make the sex more enjoyable for me. But if I can't maybe I should leave him.
  
  Okay haven't tried that yet. I thought of a dildo but that wouldn't really help, and still be painful.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    7 years ago
    
    The butt plug thing is a good idea. They have sets that start off small and eventually go up to bigger sizes.
    
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    - mysistersshadow
      
      7 years ago
      
      Exactly. That is how they do it in porn the one receiving penetration uses a series of plugs gradually larger until the real thing is no big deal. This is one of the problems with porn it makes ppl think you can slam a big cock in a tiny hole and if you can't take it theres something wrong with you. But they never show the warm up part in porn just the pounding.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        Yeah porn is hiding a lot of secrets that happen in a real sex life.
        
        I'm trying the butt plugs so far I just use the two smallest ones, but I gotta move up in size gradually. I even fear the medium size one but I'll get over it soon and hopefully at all.
        
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        mysistersshadow
        
        7 years ago
        
        Good luck.
        
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IsThisRecognizable

7 years ago

Leave him. He's a slimy douche bag and you deserve better. If he can't compromise on sex, how could you expect him to compromise or put you first on anything else either?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I've talked to a young and gay married couple who I'm friends with one of them. I've talked to him about this, and how my partner doesn't want to swap sex-roles.
  
  So he told me maybe the reason I'm not enjoying being a bottom is because I'm a "bottom virgin"?
  I've slept with others but I always been top and dominant one.
  
  Maybe I should learn how to be a proper 'bottom' before I make up my mind to break it off. He does compromise for other things like paying my half of the rent when I'm looking for another job while I study. He also cooks mostly everything too.
  
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  - sandnigga
    
    7 years ago
    
    See this is ridiculous. Both people in a realtionship should be able to be dominant.
    
    Obviously with guys its different as both guys have dicks and one guy may want to be dominant and the other one too lol
    
    Thats where this can be a problem, you two should take turns screwing each other though. You just gotta get over your fear of anal sex, and try it.
    
    Sex shouldnt be the most important thing in a relationship anyway. It can ruin relationships like it might now.
    
    But thats the problem with two dominant guys lol
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      Yeah I'm trying the tip someone told me earlier here to prepare with butt plugs first.
      
      Yeah, too bad my bf wants to do it so much. Its too frequent and I'm not even ready nor can I take him yet. We just end up doing other stuff in bed. But I see him still unsatisfied and me frustrated.
      
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      - sandnigga
        
        7 years ago
        
        Butt plugs could work
        
        well guys can be horny lol
        
        well have you told him your not ready yet? you should tell him and let him understand your concern :)
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        Yeah he has a high sex drive.
        
        Yeah I have, but he thinks forcing it to stretch me out helps till one day I can take it properly. He doesn't get it.
        
        But now I told him about using butt plugs because I'm not ready. And now I have to do way more to satisfy him. But at least he won't force me into anal anymore, until the butt plugs make me more flexible down there.
        
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helpful_demon

7 years ago

if he loves you, he'll listen when you try to communicate your needs and desires with him. I don't know anything about sex so I can't say anything as to the specifics, but maybe try communicating your needs to him one last time, and, if he laughs at you again, i'd suggest leaving him, because he doesn't seem to care for your wellbeing. i'm sorry to hear about your negative experience(s), but I hope everything gets better for you and you can finally have sex that leaves you and everyone else involved feeling safe and satisfied. :)

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Thanks for the concern.
  
  Yeah the sex leaves me feeling stress if he attempts anal sex, because it always fails.
  I tried again a few days ago but he did not laugh but just stated he doesn't enjoyvanal as much as giving it. But he said he'll stop trying to force me to get used to it, since I'm inexperienced with it (anal sex virgin.)
  
  I decided to try and train/prepare my self for analbsex with butt plugs. I'm going to try for a month and see if I can succeed at having anal sex, and to see if I really do enjoy it. And I'll also let my bf finger me just to see if that's enjoyable at least.
  
  But if I don't enjoy it and my bf pushes for me to try it again I probably consider leaving him. Because I can't take all the pain and stress it causes me. A bigger problem with it is not just me being an anal virgin its also him being too big, which I cannot change only my self sadly.
  
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Cuntsiclestick

7 years ago

Well, since you did talk to him and he won't compromise, it's time to dump him. I've seen relationships where someone didn't get their desires filled and/or did stuff in bed just to satisfy their partner and they just wound up resenting each other. Walk away from this one.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Really?
  
  So you don't think I should try and make it better for myself first, by doing/using something to make it more enjoyable in bed?
  
  I do love him but this is the only problem we have. But if I can't fix our issue with our sex life first, then i'd probably consider leaving him.
  
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sandnigga

7 years ago

Become straight? Then you could be dominate

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I would if I could.
  
  Nothing could change my sexual attraction to guys, believe me I tried...
  
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  - sandnigga
    
    7 years ago
    
    Really you dont find the vagina or boobs interesting? lol
    
    How can you resist? :o
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      Just like how a straight person can resist their same sex.
      
      It just looks like bags of fat on a chest and vaginas arn't nothing special or pretty, personally to me (no offence).
      
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      - sandnigga
        
        7 years ago
        
        Crazy though, we're supposed to be naturally born to like the opposite sex lol
        
        lol no object for you to suck on haha
        
        yea yea your good, we all got our own opinions here
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        Yeah I guess.
        
        Ha I still have nipples to play with and some are really sensitive. Its same as a flat chested girl but different genetila.
        
        Yeah exactly.
        
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kla631

7 years ago

If you love him and he loves you he will be patient. Maybe let him try fingering you with one finger and then move on to two and so on, it may not be his penis it may be you need to learn to relax, his penis may be big and you think, OMG that is gonna hurt and you become anxious and tighten up--I have trouble with anal sex myself, men lie, they tell you they'll be gentle and then shove--so fingering you may help you relax some so he may be able insert his penis more comfortably.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Thanks for that tip I'll ask him to try fingering first the next time we do it.
  
  Yep exactly, he's enjoying him self way more than I'am. And sometime gets carried away when it gets too rough.
  
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randypete

7 years ago

take his cock and enjoy the pain

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I'm no masochist. -_-
  
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Sheltie

7 years ago

Sex should be enjoyable for both partners and you should both get to try things out.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Yeah I wish I enjoyed it too.
  He doesn't like change, like in most thing in life.
  
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Rick_Bawls

7 years ago

It sounds like he treats you like his bitch. Does he slap you around or intentionally fart in your face? Maybe you need to move on

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  No...
  Only in bed he's acts really dominant.
  
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yingvsyang

7 years ago

You should try and find a solution to this problem first. Dont try to run away at first though situation try to be rational here. If your sex life is only problem then try everything you can to improve it, only when you have tryed everything then you are allowed give up. This decision is something you are doing for both of you.From what i see your bf isnt so bad he even cooks for you thats something you shouldnt take lightly. I think he cares deaply about you and i think you do to. So dont give up half way and be with a person you love and cherish dont let him slip away from you by something that you can change if you try hard enough.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Yeah I do really love him, it would be hard for me to leave him, even over this issue.
  
  He just doesn't like change or trying new things. That's why I'm trying to see if I can improve my situation first before I even think about critizing him.
  
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bigfatdick4

7 years ago

Tell him if you cannot fuck him, you won`t suck him!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Haha not a such a bad idea. But probably use this as my last resort.
  
  But thanks for the idea.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i don't want to be fucked?