Is it normal that i don't want her anymore?

37% Normal

I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl. I "fell inlove" with her online before I knew what she looked like. She sent me a few photos later. Some photos were of her from a few years ago and others were of her but it was taken in a way where I couldn't really see how chubby she was.

She came to visit me when she was on vacation and that's when I first really saw her. I was disappointed but pretended to be excited. Despite the fact that I didn't find her attractive we still had sex because I had nothing better to do anyway.

Luckily she is back home now. We are still chatting but I am "disappearing" little by little. First I told her that I got banned from the website where we met on and that I don't feel like creating a new account. Luckily she fell for it. Soon I will accidentally lose my phone and change my number and email address.

Then I will go back to the website and spy on her in secret.

IIN?

Voting Results

37% Normal

Based on 27 votes (10 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

sillygirl77

7 years ago | pl

She certainly should be been more honest in her pictures. However, the way you're handling it is NOT normal.

You should be been upfront with her and not had sex with her. To have sex with her because you had nothing better to do was cruel when you knew you didn't want her.

Also, you should be upfront now and just tell her the truth rather than phase yourself out and leaving her clueless. I think that will hurt her even worse.

Finally, why would you spy on her in secret? That's creepy!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I was honest in all my pictures and I felt like she purposely manipulated me by sending old photos and taking them at flattering angles. She knew that I didn't like unfit or overweight people and I feel that she made me like her personality on purpose before she burst my bubble in person.
  
  I will be spying on her to see if she really loved me or if she is just a big fat liar. That's where the saying comes from you know. Coz fat people lie more than skinny people. Otherwise it would have been ``big thin liar``
  
  The sex was initiated by her and I just went along with it because I had the spare time and figured that maybe if I had sex with her my opinion would change of her chubness
  
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  - sillygirl77
    
    7 years ago
    
    I agree with you that she should have been honest, but it doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't have had sex with her even if she initiated it and that you shouldn't be spying on her... creepy... why does it matter if she really loved you if you don't love her?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      I only had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I did her a favour.
      But I don't understand what makes my spying creepy? I haven't begun to spy yet. People spy or stalk all the time, even if it's just a casual non-frowned-upon spy.
      
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      - Wrong
        
        7 years ago
        
        Almost every decent looking girl I've come across I do an Internet search for when I learn their full name. I don't see anything wrong with doing that. If people are stupid enough to shotgun their personal lives onto the internet than I don't see a problem in searching for relevant information on them. This also helps to learn if they're married, dating someone seriously, ridiculous emotional or personal problems, etc, which would negate bothering to talk them in those cases, so it saves me time overall.
        
        It's hilarious how you were told that you shouldn't have had sex with her, even if she initiated it (which would have been even more awkward than having had noncommittal sex with her, which you did do). I guess you should have professed your undying love for her first lol.
        
        Women constantly play games and lie like it's their full time job. Nothing wrong with returning the favor. If you've already had sex with her, no reason in my opinion to spy on her. But what you're doing isn't wrong at all. Women do it all the time, but apparently since they have a vagina, they're "allowed" to....
        
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        TurtleBurger
        
        7 years ago
        
        Finally, someone else logical. Totally agree.
        
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TheFactChecker

7 years ago

You sound like a shallow jackass.

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daremee

7 years ago

Fat people need to let people know theyre fat omg

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- Azaman
  
  7 years ago
  
  I'm fat. Can we fuck now?
  
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  - sillygirl77
    
    7 years ago
    
    LOL
    
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TurtleBurger

7 years ago

You're normal. You had an emotional connection with someone but you're not physically attracted to them, it happens and you shouldn't be blamed for it. As for having sex with her, sure it's fine, she initiated and it was consensual regardless of whether or not you were totally into her. People have hook ups all the time with randoms they're not that into just so they can get off, girls do it too. So I don't think you're a pig in that respect, besides you can justify it as testing to see if you had sexual chemistry before outright deciding she's not for you.

What isn't normal is the way you are handling the situation. I can tell by your flippant attitude that you are genuinely disappointed by the lack of attraction. I know you're playing it up like you're cold hearted and a jerk but I see right through you and I know you are legitimately hurt that this girl was dishonest about her appearance and that was wrong of her to lead you on. Conversely it's wrong of you to do the same thing by leading her on and lying to her about phasing her out. Just bite the bullet, man up, and tell her you didnt feel the same connection in real life as you had online - it happens all the time and it's not your fault, just do the right thing, tell her, and then stop talking to her altogether.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  You are great
  
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KimmiKitsch

7 years ago

Grow a pair and call it off. Why not send us a picture of yourself and we'll judge whether you're a prize pig yourself.

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[Old Memory]

7 years ago

Why would you spy on her?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Because I want to see if she gives me a good reason to dump her. If she starts to flirt with other guys on the website then I can just dump her with a clean conscience. This is so much work.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    7 years ago
    
    I see. Makes sense.
    
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  - i.am.still.a.pervert
    
    7 years ago
    
    Fuck that. Stalk her for the sheer fun of stalking. Life is good when you have the heart of a spy.
    
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(s)aint

7 years ago

I think that she did wrong by posing as something she is not, sadly this is something a LOT of people do. I mostly feel as if girls look BETTER in their pictures and boys look better in real life.

This said; If you felt tricked by her, you should have been very clear about it from the start.

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DraegorX

7 years ago

Your initial reaction to her being different in person is normal. However, at this point in the relationship, you should break it off. You really should.

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mysistersshadow

7 years ago

You sound like a shitty person to just ghost on someone. Why not man up and tell her your not interested? Let her have some closure so she can move on as well.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i don't want her anymore?