Is it normal that i don't want a girlfriend, but i don't want to be a player.

57% Normal
20 Comments

Is it normal that I don't want 1 girlfriend. There are only like 3 girls I would make my girlfriend. Other than that if I talk to any girls I only want to make them friends. I want to have a deep connection with them, deep enough to have Sex. I don't want to ditch them after that or anything I just want to be REALLY good friends. My main goal with these women is to make them happy, not have Sex. I feel like I can look at any girl and see their sadness, I just want to make them happy without a relationship.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 54 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I think you need to take a look at your own sadness.

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    • Choclateman47
      11 years ago

      What do you mean. Even if I did find my sadness how would that connect with this?

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I feel like you and I would probably get along very well in the real world. But I've lived this life before and eventually you might become attached to the person you're having a deep conversation to. Believe me I love to get to know people, I just love learning about what makes people tick.

    However, I'll tell you this, I open up to people very easily. Talk to me one on one and you'll probably know my whole life story. Anyways, when you open up yourself, then the other person will probably open up to. That could, and in my experience usually does, lead to a deep conversation that would probably make you two better friends.

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    • Choclateman47
      11 years ago

      If I get over my shyness I can probably get along with like 98% of people. I feel like I could talk to anyone regardless of if we have anything in common or not.

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        I kinda feel where you're coming from.

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  • intellectuallychallengedmaybe
    11 years ago

    stick to one. there's a curse waiting for you if you dont. you've been warned.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    i love playing games.

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  • iamNOTnormal(:
    11 years ago

    Is there anyway I can contact you? Kik? FB?

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    • Choclateman47
      11 years ago

      Kik; krypto305

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  • iamNOTnormal(:
    11 years ago

    I think that maybe you're just not ready for a relationship. This is very normal if your in a younger age group. I also think that when you ARE ready to date you will make a wonderful boyfriend. It is better to think the way you think than to have the mind of a player. Maybe you have seen girls get hurt by players a lot? And it had driven you to show them that you care about their heart and not their body? Which is an amazing way to think!! I wish you the best and I hope you find the right girl and show her your heart.

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  • starie
    11 years ago

    So, you want to make them happy and, by your definition, that means having sex with them BUT you also want to get deep into their minds?

    Seems like you just want to have sex without the commitment tbh (friends with benifits (3 of them)?)

    Either way, nothing matters as long as the other person knows what they're getting into and is on the same page but that's just my opinion.

    But yh, i don't find that normal. I think you just want everything someone would get out of a relationship minus the actual relationship/commitment and with more than one person...

    The sex might make you happy but sounds sad to me.

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    • Choclateman47
      11 years ago

      My main "goal" is to make them happy. I feel like doing this alone will make a really good connection. If they wanted Sex I don't care. If they wanted me to go down in them and that's it, if it makes them happy it makes me happy. I don't feel a special connection with all girls only a very selected few. I feel like within the first 2 mins of seeing them I can tell if I feel a special connection regardless of if I speak to them or not. I only feel this special connection even though I haven't even spoke to them with like 3 girls. And this special connection is what makes me want to have a good relationship with them. But girls I only see as attractive I don't want to build a serious relationship relationship with I just want to make them happy. And if they feel comfortable enough to do other stuff KNOWING that I don't want anything serious then I would do it just to make them happy.

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      • starie
        11 years ago

        I understand the special connection from sight alone thing...

        Most people connect with someone the way you do and then start a relationship with them because they believe they are "the one" and that there is only that "one", yes?

        Correct me if i'm wrong but, in your case, you are aware that there is more than one person that you can connect with, so you don't start a relationship. Instead you connect with them on a deep level (without the intention of having sex but willing to do so if they want to) and don't close yourself off to other potential connections?

        You don't want a relationship with them because if you do so then it would be considered wrong for you to be emotionally close to someone else?

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        • Choclateman47
          11 years ago

          I'm a shy person. When I get that connection it makes me even more shy. But when I don't get that oneitis with someone I don't feel the love if that makes sense I just feel like it's me helping them and not two people.

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          • starie
            11 years ago

            Needed to google the term "oneitis". Hadn't heard of it before. Quite interesting tbh.

            Anyways, that does make sense to me.

            So if you got that oneitis feeling from a girl, you'd try having a relationship with her? (that would mean you're not afraid of relationships, you just don't want to have a meaningless one)Since you don't get that feeling from the other girls, you don't make it official since you know you won't be forfilling your definition of truly loving someone? (once again, correct me if im wrong lol)

            What do you mean by helping them btw?
            Do you think you're doing them some sort of favor or something?

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            • Choclateman47
              11 years ago

              You're completely right on the first part. I'm not sure on by helping them. I just feel like I'm helping them. I just talk to this one girl when she text me. I don't know if that builds a friendship but I just text her when she text me. I also don't know if she likes me more than a friend because she has a boyfriend. There's this other girl that acts kind of flirty the 2 weeks I see her every 3 months or so. I don't know if she likes me cause she's just like that and she's 3 years older than me. I message her on Facebook about stuff and she'll reply. I make sure not to drag the conversation so It doesn't become boring and it leaves her kinda hanging wanting more when I stop messaging kinda early. I hope I'm doing something right.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Most people want to be in relationships because they crave intimacy. What you are offering is not intimacy.

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