Is it normal that i don't understand this logic to not get an abortion...

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40 Comments

Often times, girls and women get pregnant due to carelessness but refuse to get an abortion because they believe in the "sanctity of life".

But why wasn't the "sanctity of life" important enough to make you take action to prevent pregnancy BEFORE a fetus became involved in the equation? Was life not sacred to you then?

Is it normal that I don't understand the argument for life being sacred when women unintentionally become impregnated through carelessness as a reason to not get an abortion?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 110 votes (88 yes)
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Comments ( 40 )
  • hamwich
    11 years ago

    Well, odds are that they weren't being deliberately careless. They're called "accidents" for a reason, no?

    Mistakes aren't deliberate, but abortions are. They obviously have a choice in the matter, so the decisions they make about abortion won't necessarily be moralistically identical to things that they do by mistake. Maybe they (like most adults) already understood the consequences of their actions (sex sometimes = babies) and don't mind taking care of a kid.

    It's their life. They're reasoning is good enough for them. There's really no reason for them to justify it to you.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      Well I re-read my post and I agree with you, there is no reason why they should justify their decisions with me. Too bad that that is not what I am asking for, nor did I mention said "need" at all, and your last statement was completely off topic, thanks.

      But on top of that, good answer. But I would like to ask, how is electing to have unprotected sex a mistake? Mistakes are something that is done by accident, I spilled my milk by mistake, I was backing out and nailed a mailbox by mistake... But not too many people mistakenly have unprotected sex.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        You seem to be operating under the idea that if you always use condoms and birth control pregnancy never happens, which simply isn't the case.

        Say you're late getting home one night and take your pill a few hours off, or you're sick for a few days and can't take it. Then the condom breaks at the most innopportune time. You did everything within your power to prevent that pregnancy, surely you cannot expect perfection from imperfect humans and birth control that is not one hundred percent efficient.

        Now I ask you, what is better? Lots of parents who aren't ready for it so they fuck up their kids? Continuing the cycle of poverty, trapping those kids into a situation it will be very difficult for them to get out of? Clogging up the already full orphanages, creating more and more children who will grow up, age out of the system while never knowing the love of a parental figure?

        I'm not saying go out and get all the abortions. I'm just saying this is not a black and white issue.

        Check out ImNotSorry.com... They gave me a lot of information when I was uncertain about my pro choice stance after growing out of my christian phase. :P I truly don't care what you believe as long as you let other people live their lives as they see fit.

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        • frankiestrange
          11 years ago

          I totally agree with you! I also love your last sentence there. Too true. :)

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          Your answer makes sense but I understand that birth control isn't always effective. I'm referring to people who make little to no effort to protect themselves.

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          • shade_ilmaendu
            11 years ago

            In which case I totally agree with you. :D I know a lot of times I don't see people make this distinction, and its best not to assume that which isn't explicitly stated.

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  • Ono
    11 years ago

    If they believe abortion is murder it takes precedence over unintentional carelessness. I would have thought that was kind of obvious. We all have certain values we would try to uphold despite any challenging circumstances, otherwise they're not really values to begin with.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      But you are missing my point.

      Consentual sex is elected unless the female was raped. Then it was not consentual sex. Challenging circumstances would be if the female was raped. Then she is a victim of circumstance. But she made the conscious decision to have unprotected sex. Where was her value for life when she was having unprotected sex whilst knowing the risks involved with such a practice?

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      • Ono
        11 years ago

        The OP used the terms unintentionally and carelessness (twice) so I answered given the scenario available. If what you more directly meant was just unprotected sex, then fine, but my answer doesn't really change all that much.

        I don't see why abortion must be the single choice for someone who does fall pregnant in this situation, pro-choice implying the *choice* therein. Everyone takes certain risks, and everyone makes poor decisions at times, I know I do. I'm not comfortable pointing fingers demanding someone do something they are completely uncomfortable with just because they fucked up.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          That's fine.
          But my question was not whether abortion is right or wrong. My though is more along the lines of, why do women use the "sanctity of life" argument as to why they'd rather not get an abortion but the sanctity of life did not matter enough for them to take precautions?

          I'm not saying that nobody makes mistakes, but having consentual sex that was unprotected knowing the consequences and not bother to even splurge for a Plan B pill sounds more like carelessness than making a mistake to me.

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          • Ono
            11 years ago

            I guess I wasn't intending to discuss the rightness or wrongness of abortion, what I was trying to point out was even if someone makes a certain poor decision, I don't feel they should have to make the same decision that someone else would. For some people having an abortion just isn't an option, no matter how stupid or careless or poorly thought out their decision was, and no matter how often they repeat it.

            I understand what you're getting at with taking responsibility beforehand, and I agree to a large extent, but sometimes life just doesn't work out like that and people have values that even if they took risks knowing what might happen. If a woman never wants to have an abortion, that's fine by me, even if she makes a poor decision, even if she repeatedly makes them, if it's something she just cannot do, then she does have other choices she can make. If she complains about it, well stiff shit, unless she was a dribbling moron she knew the consequences beforehand.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    I don't get it either, but if it's their logic than they could always give it up for adoption.

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  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    People need to realize where they got this unfounded belief of an embryo or fetus being sacred from.

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  • Frosties
    11 years ago

    Yes, but I'd imagine carrying a life inside you makes you see the world a little differently and influences your decision-making. I'd completely understand pregnancy changing someone.

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  • SittingintheCorner
    11 years ago

    IMO, it's better to have an abortion then have another child shoved into foster care because the parents don't want to deal with it.

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  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    I agree with most of the other posts. At first I misunderstood you, I was just commenting on the abortion part....and really, the two things you are presenting are sooo different, one cannot answer the other, the same 'reasoning' doesn't apply in both situations. One is before, one is after. One is a gamble (that you overwhelmingly usually win), one is a definite. Unprotected, or premarital, sex may not be 'wrong' to a person (or given the situation-married people are not exempt from this!!) and abortion is 'wrong' to many people (religious or not). I think that's why I misunderstood you, because it's really not one question/one answer.

    The reasons I may have unprotected sex could include that I don't necessarily 'care' if a pregnancy happens (not opposed to it, not trying though either), another is that it's a low-risk gamble (meaning the odds are slim-I get away with it 1,000:1). I'm MARRIED!! Plenty of other people are too, married people have abortions, and many, many more decide against it.

    Something like 49% of pregnancies are unplanned....I don't think that whole 49% of children are 'unwanted' even though they were a 'surprise' or 'accident'. Half of us wouldn't be here if our parents either used protection 100% of the time or had abortions. So what are you complaining about, girl??!!

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      I'm not complaining.
      You're married, you have a job and you can support children. There's a difference between someone taking their chances and someone literally not giving a damn.

      I am saying, how is it that a woman can care so much about life after she is pregnant but not care enough about it to do anything to prevent the pregnancy. When people go around having unprotected sex with no care for whether or not they become pregnant but then they DO get pregnant and the baby is unintended and unwanted but they keep it out of some "sanctity of life" reasoning I just wonder where the sudden concern for life was before the pregnancy?

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      • wigsplitz
        11 years ago

        I don't know...

        I'd want to say people are lazy, but that doesn't jive with taking on the responsibility of a kid. I'd also want to say that you shouldn't expect much from most people, but also that doesn't jive.

        Plus the gravity of the situation is different when you're deciding to have sex, and when you're deciding about abortion.

        Best guess is that they are taking a gamble that they think they will win, and usually do win, so maybe that's what keeps people doing it, the odds...(??) I think there's something like a 15% chance of pregnancy even on your BEST day, so repeatedly beating the odds probably is what does it.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          The statistic I heard is 1 in 4 sexual encounters result in a pregnancy, but I don't know how accurate that is.

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          • wigsplitz
            11 years ago

            Whoa...no way that's right!! No it really is something like 15% on your most fertile day-also assuming everything is PERFECT-, any other days are obviously much lower (virtually zero, really...but you never know for sure when your 'day' is, so...).

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            • NeuroNeptunian
              11 years ago

              That is so strange.
              The rate in my family is about 1 month after ceasation of the birth control pill is when they test pregnant. Hell, my Mom was 43 when she last tried that "rule" out and it worked fine for her.

              That is so strange. I'm seriously amazed by that statistic.

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  • TerryVie
    11 years ago

    hm. maybe the reasoning is that they don't exactly care before.
    They are "gambling" so to say.

    The moment they need to make a decision is only AFTER gambling, and then they believe that the fetus is sacred and they can't abort it.

    What i am trying to say: That same reasoning was true beforehand, too, but, for example, a religious person may leave it to their god to decide wether there is offspring or not.

    I have completely different views on the matter, but just trying to say that "what happens once pregnant"-reasoning is not mutually exclusive with "not caring if i get pregnant". They may know they will never abort a baby but still not care wether they become impregnated by a random guy at a party. *shrug* not saying it's logical...

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      Yeah. I think I might be trying to apply logic to a situation in which logic is not present.

      It does not make any sense to me whatsoever how someone could claim to value life that much but not value it enough to to prevent the situation from happening. Birth control is cheaper and so much more convenient than having a baby it's ridiculous.

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  • frankiestrange
    11 years ago

    Not all unwanted pregnancies are due to carelessness. What about if the pill doesn't work, or the condom splits? Mistakes are not deliberate. >.<

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      Could you please point out where I stated that all unwanted pregnancies are due to carelessness? I can't.

      I believe that I made it clear that I am referring to pregnancies borne out of carelessness.

      "Mistakes are not deliberate."
      Wait, so how is electing to have unprotected, consentual sex a mistake? They chose to do it, how is it not deliberate? Please explain your reasoning.

      Thank you for your opinion.

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      • frankiestrange
        11 years ago

        I was talking about accidents such as contraception not working, like the pill, ect. It's not 100%. Or if a condom breaks, like I said.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          That's cool, but that's not what I was talking about. Please remain on-topic, because that isn't exactly answering my question or supplementing the topic of the discussion.

          Thank you.

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  • princesscrapbag
    11 years ago

    These women don't respect themselves enough to take proper precautions.

    Mistakes are very rare, condoms are 98% effective and the pill 99.9% effective if taken correctly. Add these together and you get 98.95% effective. Pretty good odds there for NOT getting pregnant I would say.

    Being plain lazy is not a mistake, it's lack of care. If they can't wrap it up or remember to take a pill at the same time everyday, should we really let them be responsible for another human being's life? I don't think so somehow....

    A lot use religion as justification. It's just an excuse for them not doing what they are supposed to do.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      The religious justification seems pretty stupid to me (in the case of a non-married couple) as most western religions are against premarital sex.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Agreed.

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  • nightmare28
    11 years ago

    For some people its more complicated then for others. Abortion is obviously the easy choice, much more convenient, but the easy thing isn't always the right thing to do. It really is a question at which stage doe's a cluster of living cells becomes a human. At early stages of pregnancy, you can see very clearly how the fetus resembles a human. A baby can be born 6 months through the pregnancy, and still survive, and if someone kills it, they will be sentenced to life, or death, yet if a woman is 7 months pregnant, she can get an abortion, and its not considered wrong. I personally believe that life begins when there are first signs of blood in the fetus, I might be wrong, but I'm sure that it doesn't begin with the body passing through the vagina.

    Not long ago there was a baby born with six legs, and there was a poll here asking if the baby should be left to die or treated, most people voted to let the baby die, others talked about getting abortions at earlier stages, however the baby was operated successfully, and now he can live a normal healthy life,

    Also, if the woman was irresponsible and got pregnant, would it be right for her to make the unborn child pay for her mistake?

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      Good points, but pertaining to your last sentence, if she gave that big of a worry about her unborn children then wouldn't she have used protection to avoid being put in a situation like that to begin with?

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      • nightmare28
        11 years ago

        Sh1t happens, we all make mistakes, sometimes protection doesn't work. Hindsight wont help you here, the question is what to do now.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          That is irrelevant to the topic. I didn't think I could make this clearer. I am not referring to people who use protection and the protection fails. I am referring to blatant carelessness, to "I didn't want to use a condom" or to lack of concern for whether or not pregnancy results.

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          • nightmare28
            11 years ago

            When I said we all make mistakes, I was referring to those people who didn't use protection.

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  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    That's a very good argument. I agree with you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    he should take responsibility as well she did not impregnate herself, the risk and the harm is hers alone after all, if men dont want this burden they should take care

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago

      That's not the topic of this post at all.
      Women have the right and ability to take control over their reproductive organs, and when they fail to, I place the blame on them. Ultimately, if you are the one that will bear the consequence (because he can't carry and give birth to the child for you), why wouldn't you be the one to bear the responsibility either?

      Yes, men need to take care of their reproductive habits, but ultimately, being a female, we have the last say in whether or not we bear the child, so why don't we take the first say as well? Why must we blame the man when we could have just as easily refused sex without a condom or taken steps to prevent pregnancy?

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