Is it normal that i don't get how other women can withhold sex?

78% Normal

I never could understand how women can withhold sex to "punish" their men, for whatever reason. They are punishing themselves too! Why would I want to do something to my man that hurts me too? I couldn't hold off from having sex with my man because it would drive me wild to be held back from being with him.
So, I don't get it.
Is it normal that I don't get why women would withhold sex from their men? They are hurting themselves too!

Voting Results

78% Normal

Based on 46 votes (36 yes)

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Comments ( 29 )

MR.mr

8 years ago

How can we clone more of you?

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Ellenna

8 years ago

One of the very common differences between men and women's sexual response is that men can still want sex with a woman they are in conflict with in a relationship, whereas most women are turned off in these circumstances.

So it's not necessarily withholding, just not feeling like it

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  I am not referring to women who refuse to have sex because they are angry at their partner and therefore do not feel like it. I am referring to women who purposely withhold sex in order to send a message.
  These messages include items such as:
  - the woman wants to gain control because she feels powerless in some other area of their relationship. Withholding sex makes her feel powerful.
  -the woman wants something and will withhold sex until she gets what she wants
  -the woman is not happy with something her partner did so she withholds sex in order to make sure he realizes that this was a big deal to her.
  These are just a few reasons why women will passive aggressively withhold sex to get their message across.
  
  My issue is that I don't understand why a woman would purposely withhold sex when she is also punishing herself by not having sex. Nothing is worth not having sex with my man.
  I still don't get it.
  
  Anyway, besides missing out on hot sex with your man, withholding sex seems like a very unhealthy passive aggressive head game that will only lead to distancing yourself from your man emotionally in the long run.
  It seems like a lose lose situation to me.
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    8 years ago
    
    Why are you so concerned about this? I don't think it's very common and there are men who do the same thing
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Actually it is more common than you think. Yes men do it also, but no where near as much as women.
      This is something that I have questioned all my life... every time I hear about it, see it in a movie, read about it etc. I question it because I don't understand why a woman would want to deny herself also.
      
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      - Ellenna
        
        8 years ago
        
        So you believe everything you hear see in a movie or read about? Maybe you could start questioning your gullibility and why you believe women do this more than men: some statistics would be interesting but I'll bet you don't have any.
        
        Why on earth have you been questioning this all your life? All your life? You are somewhat prone to exaggeration, aren't you?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        8 years ago
        
        Ooooo! Did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed today? Did I hit a nerve? : )
        I gave you a few examples of where this behaviour can be seen and you immediately call me gullible. Talk about someone prone to exaggeration Hahaha!
        Anyone who is in touch with basic human behaviour is aware that many women sometimes use sex as a weapon and that they definitely do it more than men...a great deal more than men. You seem to be one of a miniscule percentage of people who aren't aware of this fact. I am not here to prove what most people are already aware of. You want statistics...look them up for yourself. I am here questioning why women do it, not if they do it. I already know that they do.
        ...and yes, I have questioned this behaviour all of my life...at least all of my adult life LOL!
        Why so angry Ellenna? Is it because you are one of those women who manipulate men by withholding sex and you're able to do it because you don't like sex and don't have a satisfying sex life?
        Poooorrrrr Ellenna. : (
        
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        green_boogers
        
        8 years ago
        
        Sorry, my Australian friend. But, the cultural differences between Europe, North America, and your continent are huge. You could not understand prudishness in action if you had never lived in the U.S. or Canada (excluding California).
        
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Cuntsiclestick

8 years ago

Is it weird that I knew more guys that would do this to their women? XD Either way, it's just pointless and always just leads to both parties being unhappy. It's best to just talk it out and try to solve the problem instead of being petty and dealing out punishments.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Absolutely! Using sex to manipulate others is petty and counterproductive to building a positive trusting loving relationship.
  It isn't weird that you knew more guys that do this. Perhaps you have just been unlucky enough to have been exposed to such types. Generally, more women do this than men.
  I hope you don't meet any more men like that for your sake. Like you said, they are petty and punishers, not the type you want to stay with.
  Good luck!
  
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strangethingshappen

8 years ago

Pssh, who needs sex! Only horney bastards that are weaklings can't refrain from banging uglies.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  ...and that is relevant to this topic because...?
  
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  - strangethingshappen
    
    8 years ago
    
    Has everything to do with this post as it's revolving around sex .
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Not in that context.
      
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thegypsysailor

8 years ago

Unfortunately, I think there are still a lot of women out there who only have sex with their men because it is expected of them. They haven't found the joy and pleasure in sex, so it's not a big thing to not do it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  In this day and age? That may have been true up to the fifties, but now? As far as I knew, woman are very aware of the joys of sex and that it is a feel good activity. If there are woman who actually don't feel this way, they must be a very small minority.
  
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CreamPuffs

7 years ago

If someone tried to withhold sex to "send a message" Or whatever, I would break up with them. Those types of people aren't worth it.

And if we were in an argument, we'll, I doubt either of us would even want to anyways. What man would want to have sex with a woman they were angry at?

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53739

8 years ago

Both men and women can masturbate, with or without sex toys, so withholding sex doesn't really affect anyone.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Sure that's fun, but it is nowhere near as much fun as having sex with another person. It's like having a banana split without the banana, choclate sauce and sprinkles.
  
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  - heckleBucker
    
    8 years ago
    
    Or a hot stiff penis without a squirting eruption of warm creamy semen.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      LOL....obviously a comrade who loves sex also!
      
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howaminotmyself

8 years ago

I don't really understand that either, especially if you are in a happy and healthy relationship. But if the sex is bad, or you have no labido and a dry vagina, withholding probably isnt an issue.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  There are remedies for those things.
  
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  - howaminotmyself
    
    8 years ago
    
    Well yes, but that isn't the point. Witholding isn't only done as a punishment. And when the root is a physical problem, bad sex is worse than no sex. If the desire isnt there, it isn't a self punishment. I feel bad for women who dont enjoy sex. But there are many reason that may be.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      I agree. Women like poor Ellenna suffer from a lack of a satisfying enjoyable sex life.
      However, I am specifically referring to women who do it as a way to manipulate men into giving them what they want or use it a way to punish their partner for something they have done.
      As I said before, I love being with my man so much that cutting him off would be punishing myself as well, so I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to hold out. I just love being physical with him too much.
      
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      - howaminotmyself
        
        8 years ago
        
        Oh sister, you have a lot to learn. Women who do this are not punishing themselves as they feel it is worth the sacrifice. Getting their way and sending a message are more important than an orgasm to them. It isnt like wearing uncomfortabke shoes for the sake of fashion. Most women, in my experience, don't do this. But i tend not to surround myself with manipulative cunts. Those that do behave in this manner are in an unhealthy relationship and dont enjoy sex in general. And they probably don't have many positive relationships either.
        
        And we get it, you are a sexual human being. Chill out, no one cares about your sex life. Revisit this conversation in 20 years.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        8 years ago
        
        AGAIN, I get that some women who don't feel punished when they do this are asexual or don't like their mates, but many aren't in that group. You may very well be surrounded by manipulative "c****" , they just don't tell you they do this.
        It's amusing you think this is all about me talking about being a sexual human being, since the topic is about women who use their sexuality to manipulate men, not about woman who don't...like me.
        I'm quite "chill"...if I wasn't I would be one of those manipulative "c****" as you call them, however the person who sounds angry, upset and therefore "not chill" is you.
        Relax "sister".
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i don't get how other women can withhold sex?