Is it normal that i choose him because of the challenge?

41% Normal
25 Comments

I like being comfortable especially around friends and especially around someone I'm dating. My last boyfriend was like my best friend. I felt like completely myself and I can do anything and hell love me anyways to the point where yeah I did take him for granted at the end. And I didn't like that he was a push over. Sometimes I'd test him and wanted him to tell me no. But this dude I've been seeing is completely different. I feel so insecure like why did you hid on me when all you do now is make me feel unappreciated? It couldn't just be looks because even after a few hook ups he kept hitting me up and we didn't hook up anymore but did more of couple things. And now its like I don't feel comfortable me around him. Is it me or is it him? Cause he doesn't tell me straight up what he dislikes about me but it shows. Hell ignore me and won't take me seriously. Plus I feel like I'm proud to talk about him to others and he doesnt mention me at all. But at the end of the day, the reason why I chose to be with him is because he makes me wants to be a better person. Before I could just be me and didn't grow. Now I feel like with him I've learned so much and feel like I could become this better person but the journey sucks. Like I said, I feel insecure and not good enough. But I'm holding on cause if he just gives me a chance to be comfortable in my own skin and at the same time grow, hell be happy to with me. But am I just bullshitting myself ? Or is this a good choice? When Im not with him I do feel free but I miss him. I don't want to let him go cause I know I have a good thing especially long term but its not really happening at the moment?

Voting Results
41% Normal
Based on 17 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Ugh. This is what I don't get about girls like you. You blow off guys that are nice and admit to taking advantage of them, then you get with a distant guy that makes you feel like crap, tell the world he makes you feel like crap, then you stay with him because you want the "challenge" and then basically say you want to feel free and so on around him like you could the person you took advantage of...So, what's the deal? You want him to change in to the type of guy he isn't at the present moment like the exes you dumped and take advantage of? Then what's in it for the asshole? WHY would the asshole change his ways when it clearly shows bein an asshole gets rewarded while being the guy that isn't the asshole gets taken advantage of? Why? Please reason it to me because it doesn't make any sense that you'll pick a guy like this while wanting him to change rather than picking the guy that is already the way you want the asshole to change?

    Even as an asshole myself, even when I have been someone people view in the way you view him, even I get a bit irritated when I hear these types of things, it's just moronic and serves no purpose.

    Whatever, just don't bitching at us (IIN community) when this oh so great guy fucks you over, which will most likely happen, because I don't know about the rest but I just can't be assed with story after story of some girl falling over for a guy that makes them feel like crap, even so far as to prefer such people over the ones that aren't like that, and then somehow get surprised at when the asshole is *gasp* an asshole.

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    • TareBear20
      9 years ago

      Do you remember itduzzy? It was a long time ago, but funny. You do give some of the best advice I see on this site, by far... You and Dappled... Whatever happened to Dappled? :(

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        I think I can recall tge user, yeah. Had quite a few accounts with my name chaned around on it, so it's hard to remember. Lol.

        And Dappled left quite a long time ago. :/

        Thanks for the kind words. :)

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        • iEatZombies_
          9 years ago

          ItDuznt I believe was one. I'll have to make an ItWuz. Actually, you should make an army for Duztopia. ItIz, ItWuz, ItWont ItCant ItCan ItIznt ItShall ItWuzznt ItSmellz Oh Lawd, too much Itz *Fallz over*

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          • [Old Memory]
            9 years ago

            There are more of the Duztopian army than you could possibly know...You aren't ready to know how far the rabbit hole goes. *DUN DUN DUHHH*

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          • TareBear20
            9 years ago

            ItDuzzy was the original masterpiece! :)

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        • TareBear20
          9 years ago

          Of course. ^___^

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    • CountessDouche
      9 years ago

      THIS!!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I can tell you why we choose to give the asswhole guy a chance and not the nice guy even tho this doesn't always happen. But its cause we don't choose who to have feelings for, it just happens and sometimes that person happens to be someone who makes us struggle. It sucks I know! I know I said I "choose" him for the challenge but what I mean is I choose to give him a chance not cause he's a bad boy but cause he's the one I happen to have feelings for. My ex was a nice guy and all but my feelings weren't there and when you're missing feelings wth is the point? Thats just a relationship destined for failure which is what happened. Maybe later I'll gain feelings for someone else and it happens to be a nice guy! That would be awesome. But in this case, I didn't see him and say hey you're bad and I wanna struggle come with me. My feelings were just present for him. We don't choose who we love. Haven't you noticed sometimes you ask why do you like them? And they respond with "idk it's just something about them." That's pretty much it. Its not their attitude, its not their looks, etc its just your heart speaks when you meet them. And maybe that's why "love conquers everything and gets through everything" cause no matter those struggles, that one feeling deep inside is what makes you keep going and when you get through it, you're so happy you never gave up.

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      • iEatZombies_
        9 years ago

        You're attracted to what you think you can accomplish. You think you can change him. With your ex there was nothing to work on, nothing to accomplish. You got bored. You see, whether you change this guy or not, you'll still lose. If he changes you'll get bored. If he doesn't you'll feel like you've failed and lose confidence, then you'll spend the rest of the time hoping he'll change.

        You're in it for the thrill of adrenaline. You want that rush. That's not love, it's infatuation.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Idk I don't think so.
          We recently spent the weekend together and he gave me as much affection and attention like I give him and I loved it. Wasn't turn off by it. I felt relaxed and secure and confident in myself. I can only wish for more every day all day. For the thrill of adrenaline sounds like so much suffering and I know but I'm not in it cause he doesn't want me. Its more of a good challenge.

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    • mountain-man82
      9 years ago

      You hit the nail on the head here.

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    • derpyderp
      9 years ago

      Yep.

      Every girl seems to say they want a nice guy when in reality the nice guy gets overlooked for the asshole 9 times out of 10...
      Kinda like the looks vs personality deal

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Women, why do so many of you want a challenge? What's wrong with dating a nice man who is good to you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Well I don't know about other girls, but for me, the challenge is I can see myself become a better person with him. He makes me want to change for the better. But in the moment, because I know I can be better, I feel like crap when I'm around him. I think it's a self-esteem issue knowing he can do better than me and i'm trying to be that better person for him and for me. It's not like he wants me to do more drugs. It's more of he's looking for someone more mature and independent yet he still likes me. It's like why should I change if he's okay with my flaws? I don't think he is but he's just trying to be nice and accept them but I want him to see me like the girl he deserves and wants. I'm not changing completely me for him but fixing my flaws. It's just a rough journey to be not the perfect girl but his perfect girl.

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