Is it normal that i am beginning to resent my parents?

84% Normal
12 Comments

I am so upset. I feel like everything in my life is going wrong. I'm 19 years old and I just had to withdraw from college because my family can't afford it. I was able to get my first two years for free and now I needed to take out a loan to get the rest. I can't take out a loan because I don't have a cosigner. Both of my parents have bad credit. So now I'm stuck at home, trying to find a minimum wage job so I can save up to go back to school.

The problem is that my parents seem to think nothing of it - they're more concerned about themselves. My mom cried yesterday because she was so "stressed out" at my and my family's situation. My dad took her out for dinner to make her feel better. But what about me? Why wasn't I taken out to dinner? It's ME in the situation, not HER. They both going on vacation in week with her friends to the Bahamas, so why the heck is she crying?

My dad told her she doesn't have to work anymore because she didn't feel like it and because she thought at her age that everything in her life would be easier. Then they both get mad and tell me I'm being immature whenever I start feeling sad or even shed a tear. What about me? It's like they don't get a damn. And I understand that they probably feel bad they can't support me like most parents do, but the LEAST they could so is show me empathy and understand how I'm feeling instead of getting mad.

It really makes me resent them, but I don't want to. I want to be the bigger person, but it's so hard when your parents have the emotional range of a teaspoon. It pisses me off beyond belief. So while they're in the Bahamas next week, I'll be at home eating scraps and sharing Ramen noodles with my other siblings. I hope they enjoy that trip that they can't even afford even though the money they spent on it would have been better used on my schooling. Pricks.

Am I being unreasonable?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 31 votes (26 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • Muckyfuss
    8 years ago

    You can get a loan without a co signer fill out your fafsa and make sure you become an independent student on the form meaning you are getting no help from parents I have bad credit and got grants and loans all they way to grad school you don't need those type of loans the government gives loans and grants fill out your Fafsa.edu.gov and educate yourself my parents never paid for school I owe my own loans but hey I have a degree

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I dunno, maybe their just selfish. Try to look on the bright side, if you have to work harder for your education you might appreciate it more than the average more spoiled person like myself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      That's one of the most superficial useless responses I've ever seen. I notice that your education didn't teach you the difference between THEIR and THEY'RE

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Mwahahaha! Now you're just being a meanie.

        ...but, yeah that wasn't my best response.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          You'll survive. At least I was an honest "meanie" and didn't disguise it with patronising advice

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          -1
          -1
            -
          • RoseIsabella
            8 years ago

            True that.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    You sound spoiled and it seems pretty clear where you learned it. Good luck with your life of entitlement.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Your parents are selfish and uncaring, you deserve better. I suggest you take the advice from other posters about getting independent loans and get away from them as soon as you can.

    In their old age they'll be whingeing that their kids don't care about them: well who set them the example?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Muckyfuss
    8 years ago

    There are different types of loans you need to get an independent loan and go live on campus. Your parents have done nothing but raise kids and want to live their own life and are tired of giving everything to everyone else. Go become and independent student and make sure you fill out your fafsa. Get a job and be humble we have an entitled generation of kids given everything I know it is hard but you will be fine I had to get my own loans and become an independent student and get grants. The best thing to be is poor and not have your parents work harder because you get more money from the government that way. Learn the system and get your own money I got 5000 a semester you may need to live off campus and may some small rent somewhere but you can do it

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Maybe good advice about loans, I wouldn't know, but why should OP be humble in this situation?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Your studies got prematurely cut off, your parents don't care. And adding insult to injury, they'll be living it up in the Bahamas. I really don't blame you for being resentful. Maybe your parents really are financially irresponsible, uncaring, selfish assholes.

    But try and let it motivate you. The best thing you can do is start earning some money, maybe move out ($$?), try and become self-sufficient enough to support your own studies.
    Don't let this weigh you down, because it won't help you.

    Often, with parents, you DO have to be the bigger person or things won't move forward. Don't be a doormat, of course. But you don't need this burning fire of resentment inside you, it's no good.

    The best thing that can come from this is you becoming more self-sufficient.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Your studies have been cut short, and your parents don't seem to care. Meanwhile they're holidaying in the Bahamas.
    No, I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's totally understandable for you to feel resentful about that.

    But the best thing you can do is get the hell out, get a job, support yourself. That way you won't have to be relying on anyone else for loans or even moral/emotional support.
    I don't think you're being unreasonable, but the best thing you can do is use the situation to try and motivate yourself.

    And also, maybe you're realising that your parents are far from perfect (maybe you've known this for a while), but sometimes you DO have to be the bigger person, or things just won't move forward. Even if you're less than half their age, a lot of the time it comes down to you to be the better person. Because parents are usually not very flexible or open to analysing their own behaviour.

    tl:dr Understandable, but try and let it motivate you. You can only rely on yourself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0