Is it normal that i am 22 years old and do not have my learner's permit?

48% Normal
22 Comments

The majoriy of people I know; family members, friends, aquantences, have either one or the other (Driver's Licence) while I have tried at least 5 or more times (cannot recall the number of times I failed) to get a learner's and failed every time.

It doesn't help that everyone I have talked to about this subject gives me either a possitive or negative answer regarding this topic saying either "Do it!" "You have to tell me when you want my help to study, it is your responsibility to do this" "You don't need it because any where you want to go you can get to by bus" "You don't need to have one because it is dangerous to drive here"

Now it has gotten to the point that having the topic be brought up in conversation causes me to become miserable, lonely and anxious. I also cannot contribute to any conversations about the topic because I do not have any experience with it so I feel really left out when people talk about it around me.

I would love to be able to drive/ learn how to drive but I am just scared that I will just fail the knowledge test once again and reading the book over and over again on my own really bores me or remembering to ask for help with studying from a loved one has been difficult for me to do because I worry that I would just waste their time.

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 31 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • flailyhailey
    9 years ago

    I'm also 22. I never intend to drive. I deal with post-traumatic stress after being in a car accident. I don't even like being a passenger. It's manageable, though. A lot of people tell me I'll change my mind one day or that "you can't live without your license", but my mother has a couple friends who have never driven and I've talked with them about it. I'm not concerned. Your situation is different, though. You have interest in it, and I think you'll get past your difficulty with the testing with the support of people around you. Good luck!

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      That really sucks that you went through all that. You are right that our situations/circumstances are different but there are small similarities between them that they are not unrelated.

      I'm glad to hear you got help from loved ones/people who care about you and yeah I'm sure I can and will get past this with the support of my loved ones.

      Thank you for your positive response :)

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  • sega31098
    9 years ago

    I'd say not normal, but it isn't a bad thing as long as you have other ways to get around. Especially if you're in mainland Europe, public transport is amazing.

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      Had a feeling someone would say so but like your response it isn't a bad thing.

      I do have my incredibly supportive parents, stepmom and step brother who I can ask for drives to places but I don't want to portray myself as a spoiled rich kid with absolutely no life experience when I talk to other people even if in reality I'm not super rich but do squirrel away my money, live with my partents and have a part time job at a grocery store that drains me both physically and mentally plus purposely shelter myself in the house most of the time because of shyness, trust issues and having an introverted personality. Okay that was probably a jumbled up mess of a paragraph and I apologize for it.

      Sadly I am not Mainland European but North American Western Canadian Prarie Province where it feels like the best people can just drive everywhere.

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      • sega31098
        9 years ago

        Are you in Winnipeg, Edmonton or Calgary?

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  • Eclipsea
    9 years ago

    It's definitely way more normal than people seem to think it is. I'm 21 and I have a phobia of driving, I've kind of refused to drive because I'm straight-up terrified of it, mostly due to this major car accident I was in when I was about 4. I do have my permit though, and I probably will get my license sometime in the future, I just have no idea when.
    It just sucks because it's so inconvenient because I live in a very small town with almost nothing nearby, so it's definitely best for me to get my license, I just really really don't want to. Hoping to move to a big city where there are buses and everything is within walking distance. :)

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      I didn't realize that many people were afraid of driving and/or have a phobia of driving until the responses to this post and how public transport is actually a preferred mode of transportation for some. I suppose I should consider myself fortunate for having access to buses even if the part of the city I live in has some of the more unreliable ones unless you are going somewhere in the morning as well as being able to walk to certain places such as grocery stores.

      I wish mine was just a phobia about driving itself but sadly it isn't. My fear is more a fear of being in a state of arrested development that I cannot escape from or could be in forever with sprinkles of other fears that may happen as a result of not being able to keep up with everyone else.

      I apologize if I sounded incredably selfish in this response and am happy to see a reply like this. It reminds me that my situation is not so bad and that alot of other people have it much worse.

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  • WhiteStallion
    9 years ago

    I got that as soon as I could. Couldn't stand my parents driving me around all the time or taking public transport.

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      I wish I could be like that but I feel like I get so distracted by so many things going on that the other things end up taking up more priority than learning about driving...It sucks.

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      • WhiteStallion
        9 years ago

        yeah no worries in time everything falls into place

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  • pastor_of_muppets
    9 years ago

    Your entire demeanour about the situation is what the problem is.
    You shouldn't just "read" the book. You must study it. Make sure you get a visual picture in your mind about everything. Drive around with someone and notice the signs alongside the roads and tell the driver what they mean and why they are there. Then let the driver tell you in his own words what the sign is and so on.
    It doesn't help to just read about things - you have to figure out how to actually do the practical aspect of the knowledge in the book too.

    It's really not that difficult. You just don't completely understand it yet because you don't know it in theory

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      I do that sort of thing already when I'm with my Dad, Step Mom, and Step brother while they all drive. Although I don't do this as frequently as I use to because I worry I'm annoying others and have basically given up on the idea and thought of driving.

      Then again It sounds like all I really have to do is put more effort into learning and understanding the theory behind driving by not being afraid to ask questions about the subject while I'm in a vehicle with a loved one. Thanks a ton for your imput on my post, this information has been helpful :)

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Im 26 and I have never gotten my drivers license.
    I passed drivers ed HS ...

    I think with people I dont know in the car I get nervous and anxious. and the fact that they are testing you makes me nervous too.
    I have only tried one time to get my license. ..I failed one part, I turned down the ally on the wrong side.I also think the person could tell I was nervouse... they didnt give me my license, and I never tried again.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    I'm 19 and I don't know how to drive. I have no intention to get my driver's license, at least not in my native country, for a number of reasons. I believe it was when I was 16/17 that the pressure for me to learn how to drive was on me the most. It made life very unpleasant, needless to say. Disappointment, anger and shock was thrown my way. I was extremely shocked that people couldn't respect my decision nor could understand that other modes of transportation existed. I got into A LOT of arguments with my grandmother. It seems that I was supposed to be like the prodigal son and when I failed to live up to those expectations, it seems I somehow made her look bad. Very bizarre. Two years later, and the bullshit has for the most part dissolved itself.

    You should think about why you're taking this test and whether or not you'll be able to afford owning and operating a car. If your heart really isn't into it, you could be sabotaging your chance of passing the test without even realising it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I have been driving since I was 15. A lot of people have criticized my driving and many are afarid to get in my car, but despite the countless driving infractions and totaled vehicles, I have gotten better at driving over the years. I have put more effort into not speeding because I cannot afford tickets and my insurance over charges me. Luckly I have not hurt anyone while driving including animals (other than bugs on my windshield). I have choosen to drive anyways because I would be completely fucked if I did not. Also I like driving. I feel safe driving even though passengers may have a panic attack but maybe they should get their own car. I will admit I was an awful driver before but I think I do pretty good now.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I would guess the reason you cannot pass your tests is that subconsciously you know that you will never be a competent driver. Listen to your inner voice. Pay attention!
    Do not ignore that voice and end up being responsible for killing yourself or others. Not everyone has the capability to drive.

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    • WhiteStallion
      9 years ago

      HAHAHAHA
      XD
      I enjoyed that one....

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      Interesting valid point made even if quite negative in tone and discouraging.

      If that did ever happen the truth is yes I would feel a ton of guilt, it would be enough to make me stop driving if I could drive but at the same time I cannot just give up on learning how to drive or then I will be stuck having to see all my loved ones grow up around me while I am stuck in a state of isolation and depression because I will not be able to do all the things they are all doing and will be unable to relate to any of them.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        That is kinda the point in having friends and loved ones when one is unable to do something for oneself. So, you would risk your life and/or those of others just to relate to any of them?
        Sorry, that makes no sense at all. Leave your ego behind and use your head. Think it through. Any idiot can pass a dl test; there are millions of them out there driving right this minute. If you are NOT an idiot, then there must be a damn good reason why you can not pass your test. As I said, listen to your inner self. Stop worrying about what others will think.
        What you may see as negative is in my mind anger, because I am positive you are not meant to drive and yet you keep trying. I fear that you will kill others, perhaps someone I care for. So I am being very honest and forthright.

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        • Ixenkothar
          9 years ago

          That is true that they are around for that reason I just don't want to be a burden on them, I want to be reliable and useful and I want to belong to society like any normal person does. I want to be called on to drop off and pick up my younger sister to and from places, I want the ability to drive incase one of my loved ones were to be driving but get knocked unconscious and be the one to bring them to safety and I want the freedom that comes with being able to drive.

          I would risk MY LIFE and ONLY MINE for the ones that I care about if it ment that they would be safe and they would do the same for me if they felt it was needed for my safety or any other loved one's safety. I would never want to take anyone down with me. Then again I am a faceless rectangle of text on the screen how would you know what I am really like and what I value? Can't blame anyone for that.

          I am an extremely cautious person, there is a good chance that I would be a slower driver and would not be driving around willy nilly but true you never know if you will deal with that until it happens best to prepare before it can be an issue. You think I would be stupid enough to drink and drive or be on the phone or would not know ANY of the risks of driving? Just because there are major consequences and responsibilities that come with driving does not mean that you should just give up on the thought of driving if you are failing at a KNOWLEDGE TEST more than once.

          What it means is that more studying and thorough information gathering is needed with a combination of dedication, confidence, commitment, and determination. What it also means is that individuals who have their Driver's personally need to put more of their efforts into becoming the safest and best drivers they can be, that is a major part of learning how to drive and being a safe driver. It takes alot of effort but if you work on it, have alot of common sense/develop your common sense to a higher level and put the time in then anyone can be a safe driver or learn how to drive.

          Yes anyone can pass both tests, I have witnessed this on many carrides with my parents and peers. Incompetent people, uneducated people, alcoholics ect.

          If you live in Western Canada/ Alberta province that would be an issue but seeing as I do not drive there is no reason to fear for your loved ones when it comes to me driving because I am unlikely to get a learner's any time soon due to lack of motivation to study currently however I do understand what this part of your post was intended for and it is a valid point, "What if your driving killed an innocent person? Would you be able to live with yourself afterwards?"

          Overall I never said it was bad or unwanted to give a negative response to my post I was making an observation on the tone is what I was doing and I do believe you have made a valid point. I also know that you have to be honest and forthright about opinons because there are many times when the truth is important and will solve the problem and lead the right direction. Just because I find an opinion valid and truthful and agree with it on some level or understand where it is coming from does not mean I will just give up and no longer try to accomplish what someone else says I cannot or should not do but oh well you have your opinon and I have mine.

          Thank you for putting in your piece :)

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  • flyingnostalgia
    9 years ago

    its normal

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    • Ixenkothar
      9 years ago

      Glad you think so

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