Is it normal that girls seem to want either your; dick, brain, balls or money?

Since you want to play grammar and punctuation Nazi:

'As for wanting to "bang dudes", no where in this article...'

Nowhere is a single word.

'As such, let's not scapegoat my disappointment with the current female specimen with an alternative that simply doesn't address the discontent.'

This sentence is a mess, and your use of "scapegoat" makes it gibberish. The only way it makes some sense is if "scapegoat" is replaced with "confuse". "Simply" is redundant and weakens the sentence. "As such" is borderline unnecessary in the context, and it's a phrase that should be avoided if one doesn't wish to come across as a pompous ass. "Let's" is the contraction of "let us"; its use here is unnecessary verbiage that adds to the pomposity of the statement. "You" would convey the intended meaning and be much more direct.

'Lastly, males that take care of their hygiene far better than females do (typically trans or gays (completely hairless and far more beautiful than females despite not being able to know they in fact have penises) are very much on my radar.'

Two opening parentheses, but only one closing parenthesis. In stylistic terms, long parenthetical comments should be avoided; it's better to rephrase and create separate sentences. "In fact" is missing a comma before and after.

'So I'm just beating the drum here and telling females to step up and dispense of the notion that they're necessary for the future, because with their current track record. They're not.'

"Dispense of" is non-standard usage; "dispense with" is correct. You should have used a comma rather than a period following "record".

'Prove me wrong hags.'

Comma missing following "wrong".

You’re spewing out brain farts and trying to correct someone with horrid americanised spelling.

🤣

I’m actually British so realise would be the correct spelling for me, same as how color/colour is spelled differently depending on whether you’re from the US or UK. But either way, my parents taught me not to be mean to retarded people so I’m not going to say anything rude to you.

Poniendo palabras de otras lenguajes dentro de su habla no te hace parecer inteligente. Decida a una lenguaje y lo use. También, me perde para mis pobre gramática, por estoy aprendiendo, y no estoy muy bién aún.

Sure, I'll make sure to write an unecessarily long reply here since apparently you can't understand a simple statement unless I go on forever and ever putting unneccessary numbers of obnoxious thesaurus words in some kind of pathetic hope the person reading it has to go look up words in the dictionary.

Simply put, coming from somebody who doesn't struggle talking to women who don't want me to buy them stuff or fuck me, you sound like your issue is that you're just really boring. Your single sentance and fragment of a second sentence you just posted here are so boring I almost fell asleep in the 5 seconds it took me to read it. The fact that you can't have a normal platonic conversation with any woman speaks less to women being whores who want your money and more to the fact that you don't have any hobbies or interests that are remotely interesting to other people to talk about. Seeing as how there's nothing enjoyable about socializing with you, the only people who want to associate with you are people who get some kind of benefit out of it. Basically, sounds like you're the problem here.

I think he's saying he has neither dick, nor brain, nor balls, nor money. He realizes he is supposed to become a wanker, but does not realize he should be happy about it, lest the curse of erectile dysfunction turn his nads into shrivelled jungle fungi.

Of course, there are anthropological processes at play here. Genetic insignificance must be bred out of the human gene pool. His progeny, the losers of the future, would be as pathetic as the would be genetic replicas of those fat female welfare recipients. So I say, please sir, leave breeding to the Chads and the Stacys. Naked paper dolls are his best bet.

What a plot twist!