Is it normal that every time i go out and drink i bring a guy home with me

Almost everytime I drink and go out I bring a guy back home with me to sleep with. I don't know why but I almost feel like I have to bring someone home. The sex is never that great cause we're usually too drunk.
This is a new thing for me. I was in a relationship for two years and I started doing this after I broke up with my ex. I studied abroad and "cheated" on him with a few people and then I got back and broke up with him and started embracing hookup culture.

Idk if this is a normal thing people do, none of my friends hookup with people very often at all and it makes me wonder if this behavior is gross

anyone else like this?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 61 )
  • Carlton03

    And yes the behaviour is gross!!!! Why did you cheat on your partner at the time anyways?

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    • MysticLane

      why is it gross? I cheated on him because I felt like I was too young to not give other people a shot/ have experiences and just tie myself down to someone. especially cause he was the only person i had ever been with. I also was thinking of breaking up with him before i went abroad, but i figured if I gave other people a chance maybe it would help me realize how I really felt about my boyfriend. Turns out he was a shit boyfriend and I should have broke up with him a while ago so I don't regret it at all. Also, just to be clear I didn't have sex with anyone just kissed and did other sexual things.

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      • Carlton03

        It is a act of zero class cheating, even if you had relationship problems, sleazy cheating is not the answer, talking about problems and trying to solve them is, haha okay well that makes it okay that you didn’t go “all the way” even if he was a shit boyfriend in your opinion it’s still not right to just go around taking test drives to help you decide weather he’s right or not. affairs/cheating is disgusting.

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        • MysticLane

          I don’t see it that way. I think young people take relationships way too seriously. tying yourself down to someone and not giving others a chance whom you could be better with is pointless.

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          • Carlton03

            Yeah I understand dating different people if it’s for the right reasons, but not sleeping around or seeing others whilst still in a relationship!!!! COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE TO ME!!!

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            • MysticLane

              i didnt sleep with anyone. but yeah everyone has a different opinion

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  • CDmale4fem

    Next time after drinking when you leave the bar, be sure to take your self respect and dignity home with you AND NO ONE ELSE. Its not hard to just pass on a limp dick, is it.?

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    • MysticLane

      Why do you think just because I hookup with people I have no self-respect? What does sex have to do with self-respect at all?

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      • CDmale4fem

        In my younger days I was the family SLUT, so to speak. I spent 7 years in the Navy in San Diego and the Bay Area. I was speaking more from my own past experiences. I apologize for stereotyping you. I always hated when people thought I was friends with the other sailor on the airplane, except he was drunk as hell. I also apologize for assuming things. Again speaking from my past. I hope you can be safe and not get a bad case of Gonnaherpesyphilaids. Just as well you could also make assumptions based just on my name here. Yes you can assume, you can ask if you are that curious. But only you know if there's a deep down reasons as to why you seemingly have a nerd to take somebody home each time.

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  • e51pegasi

    Perhaps you are missing the intimacy that you experienced In a previous long term relationship.

    One night stands weren't for me. I had 2 or 3, they just felt a little grubby & nasty. As you say drunk sex is rarely fun.

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  • Imsoawkward

    It's not normal. You're a whore, no man wants that.

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    • MysticLane

      clearly they do though...

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      • Carlton03

        Yeah they do, we know that, but guys like that are just users who only what one thing like rose Isabella said, continue like this and you will most likely never be taken seriously or have anyone genuine interested in you, irregardless of what they may say to your face, I have witnessed blokes I work with say many disgusting comments, single, married whatever!!! Guys who been married for 15 years plus with three kids and flirt left right and centre with other girls, now do you picture a guy like that saying nice things to their wife at home or dog like comments like they do at work? They have two sides, I have seen it heaps.

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        • MysticLane

          okay but i only want one thing too. im not taking anyone seriously so why should i care if anyone takes me seriously. and someday if i want a committed relationship with someone it definitely wouldnt be someone who would jusge me for something as silly as sex

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          • Carlton03

            Okay well let’s see if you choose to seek a serious relationship one day if you have changed your habits and mindset, you may not want someone who will judge or use you for sex but the big question is will you be able to identify if that’s what the guy is about or not? Or will you be able to identify if they are lying and why they are with you
            and if they may be cheating behind your back etc and only with you for physical reasons although you may think otherwise, just saying that to be careful cause I have seen many disgusting attitudes over the years and if you choose to get serious with someone and not sleep around I wish you good luck but just be careful with whom you date.

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            • MysticLane

              yeah im good at identifying things like that. if im in a relationship with someone i would have ro know them really well.

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      • Nickvey

        i do . some serious fucking

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      • RoseIsabella

        Yeah, but they're just gonna use you for sex is all. They won't respect you, or want a serious relationship with you.

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        • MysticLane

          ok and im just using them for sex so why does it matter? i don't want a serious relationship with anyone.

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          • RoseIsabella

            If it doesn't matter why you are questioning it's normalcy?

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            • MysticLane

              because im trying to see if others are like this and also if people can gives me thoughts on why they think i do this.
              also if someone gives me a good enough reason to stop then ill consider

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        • Nickvey

          sure , we all respect our ex wives. bullshit.

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  • Carlton03

    Has any of it been worth it? I don’t feel I have missed much to be honest by not being part of the “party culture”

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    • MysticLane

      yeah i think so. ive gained some sexual experience and its been fun. ive learned more about what i want sexually

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      • Carlton03

        Okay, fair enough I guess.

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  • Ummitsme

    You should just get on Tinder, Bumble, happn etc. if sex is your goal. This way you don't have to waste time going out and getting shitfaced and the sex will be better since you're both not wasted. You can also meet and hook-up with multiple guys in a day. Increase both the quality and quantity of the sex you're getting.

    The anonymity of online "dating" will help you avoid the same groups of people seeing you leave with a different guy every night and getting an undesirable reputation. Keep doing you girl! You are a real asset to your community.

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    • MysticLane

      yeah i feel that. i almost feel like apps are more complicated than just going to the bars. personally i have more luck when i go out cause i have options and i can see how people are like in person. Ive had weird experiences with tinder =/
      but yes i agree about how its less public and u dont have to be drunk. even though all my tinder situations have been drunk

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  • Carlton03

    No way in hell is it normal sorry to say, quite a few make good points here, seems like to me that you just feel it’s something you have to do as part of going out, it shouldn’t be!!!!! If you are deleiberately setting out to get drunk before you even go out that’s not good at all, or even if you do once out and it’s inpromptu also not good, anyway point is it’s not good at all, it’s irresponsible and high risk behaviour so don’t think for a single second it’s normal based on the fact or theory that it may be a popular activity or “what young people do” many things could go wrong for you with constantly engaging in this behaviour and I would seriously suggest finding a way to stop.

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    • MysticLane

      what kinda of things could go wrong?

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      • Carlton03

        I highly suggest you do some research, you may well have an alcohol or sex addiction or both, if not now you are a serious chance to develop one... or both, you could be that drunk that you could forgot all about protection and responsibility, you could get pregnant to a stranger, you could get an STD.

        You literally have very little idea who these people are, you could be inviting a criminal into your house for all you know and get robbed, too much alcohol consumption affects the limbic system of the brain, this is the area that controls our behaviors and emotions amongst many other things and leads to impacted and often poor decision making, you could end up changing your mind after having a guy over and that could lead to sexual assault, you after all are not able to ascertain who these people are by knowing them for just a free hours, ohh the possibilities, addictions have the power to completely derail and ruin lives.

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        • MysticLane

          i guess u have a point there. i do worry about stds and pregnancy but i always use protection and im going to get tested soon.
          but yeah i guess the rape thing is scary the only thing is i usually bring the guys to my place and if he was gonna try to rape me my roommates would hear me scream for help
          alcohol addiction may be possible

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          • Carlton03

            Thanks for acknowledging my point, I would also be worried about STD’s it’s good that you are cognizant of what can go wrong now, well at least you have roommates I guess if the worse is to happen, just gotta be careful cause when drunk cause that’s when things can be forgotten, I have read somewhere that even if one individual is to perform oral sex on another individual and then kiss someone else with a certain amout of time diseases can spread in that way too, obviously if the oral receiptient is HIV positive, although I’m yet to ascertain if that’s true but it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

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      • RoseIsabella

        You could get raped, killed and then raped again by some psycho killer.

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        • Nickvey

          lets see, how many millions of cock you'd have to screw to get murdered ? one in one hundred thousand. you stand a better chance of getting murdered by a democrat for being a christian.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Maybe you are a sex addict?

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    • MysticLane

      i dont think so because i think its not really about the sex tbh. i rarely even masturbate.

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      • Carlton03

        Addictions are not necessarily always about the act itself, they can also be about the actions that lead to it, you are probably being satisfied by your current regular actions and that’s why you don’t feel the need to masturbate, what you are doing can have short and long term effects on you.

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        • MysticLane

          possibly this is true. however the actual reason i dont masturbate a lot is because the medication i’m on lowers my libido

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  • Algum

    I don't even like to drink anymore. Some of it is because alcohol itself doesn't even make me feel that good really. I think it also has to do with me knowing that today's drinking scene is just an ugly picture, like the other commenter said, it's full of superficial and meaningless hookups, everything surrounding a night drinking today is superficial, the whole picture, not just the hookups, and there are too many people around who act pissed off and stupid when they're drunk.
    Alcohol doesn't even make me feel that good anymore either. It'll make me feel tipsy and intoxicated, but not good. And it's always too easy to drink too much and get sick, dizzy, and puke. It hasn't even always happened after the same amount of alcohol every time when I've drank, so I've never been able to clearly see a fixed barrier where I know that's when to stop. With pills like opiates or benzos, I know exactly when to stop before I know it's too much, and I prefer the way they make me feel over alcohol anyday.

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    • Boojum

      A survey earlier this year found that around a quarter of British 16-24 year olds don't drink alcohol at all. Unfortunately, those that do drink tend to binge and aim to get totally blotto when they go out.

      I can't really preach about this, since in my mid-twenties a girlfriend and I used to habitually polish off a fifth of vodka (that's around 750ml) every Friday and Saturday evening. Over the years, I've lost interest in getting drunk. Getting pissed is pretty boring, really, and the pain of the after-effects outweighs the buzz.

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      • Algum

        The buzz from drinking did make me feel good when I was in my late teens, early 20s. But now at 42 and anytime in around the past 10 years or so, the intoxication just didn't feel good anymore. I always felt worse, more easily irritated, more easily upset or set off by something someone said or done, more queezy in the stomach, and more weighed down or lethargic and not relaxed in a good feeling way. I started wondering why so many people always wanted to drink and why it kept seemingly making them feel so good. I guess one of the answers is that some of them were younger, like how I was saying how alcohol made me feel better way back in the day. But I guess some of it is also that no matter what one's age, drinking effects everyone's body and mind differently.

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  • Boojum

    You say you don't enjoy what you're doing, and you recognize that it's a uncontrollable compulsion.

    Here's a suggestion you might find shocking: stop getting plastered when you go out. Do you actually believe that a good night out requires you to get shit-faced and then stagger home with some random guy you met five minutes before?

    I think sex is wonderful, but the current hook-up culture is very superficial and an emotional void. It sounds like you're starting to recognize that.

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    • MysticLane

      I didn't say I don't enjoy it. I said the sex isn't great. But I still enjoy it. That's why I keep doing it.

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  • Nickvey

    when you go to a gay bar and get drunk i think the whole point of going is to pick up a guy.

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    • MysticLane

      im female though

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      • Nickvey

        get all the cock you can before you hit the wall. because after its all over all you have is the memories. An the horney guys that never call back , well they do in the end . after the divorse or what ever cause a women that gives it away without pain is what every man really wants . what man in his right mind wants to pay for it by an expensive date ? he knows a women that gives it up for the pleasure is the one with the heart of gold. Women will call you a whore on here but , they are the ones that are demanding payment.

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        • MysticLane

          yeah thats kinda how i feel. like the end goal of dating people is to have sex anyway so why not just skip right to it? And this way instead of having to deal with the drama of seeing someone I can just see different people

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          • Carlton03

            If that’s your end goal for dating, your priorities are out of order, continue like that and see what kind of guys you attract and if you do date them don’t be shocked when they treat you like crap hey.

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            • MysticLane

              i dont think you get that i dont wanna date anyone so im specifically attracting people who want one night stands
              if i want a committed relationship it definitely wont be with someone who treats me like crap as ive already been through that and have really high self respect now

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            • Nickvey

              what is your end goal? getting the dudes car house boat plane dog kids friends ? see thats why i respect a women that puts out and doesn't have goals other than pleasure.what i cant stand is a pseudo whore

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  • Justmehere

    If it's new to you, you'll learn quick. This is not the best idea. After my divorce, I dated too fast, and, too much. Met, and usually had sex, with the absolute wrong people, nutcases, crazies, and the neediest of the needy. One had 7 chocolate martini's one night, and started going off on people. All I wanted was to get her home, and I did..Her apartment..Bad night and all, yeah..Still threw her on the bed and had at her. Met another at my non-usual sports bar one night. Hot, part rican part native american woman, who had just enough skanky slut in her that I couldn't say no.. Went back to my house, jumped all over her, and sent her on her way. Then took a hot shower to clean her off of me.

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