Is it normal that certain things remind my boyfriend of his ex too much?

31% Normal
11 Comments

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We started dating last April (2010) just a couple weeks after he broke it off with his girlfriend. He had been dating her long-distance for 3 years before splitting with her.

Now my question is, is it normal that certain things remind him of his ex so much that he can't do them with me. For example, this Christmas (about 9 months into us dating) he was acting very distant and depressed. When I asked him why, he said it was because Christmas was always a time he spent in the USA with his ex, and this year the memories of that were making him depressed. That Christmas just couldn't be the same because it was tainted with that sadness.

Another example is just today, March 17 (almost a year into dating). I asked him if he'd like to start watching the Amazing Race with me. He said that was a show his ex had gotten him to watch with her, and that it'd be too weird to watch with me.

Is that sort of thing normal?

Voting Results
31% Normal
Based on 87 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • buckman
    13 years ago

    He's been with you for a year. He shouldn't even speak of her, not to you at least. He should just say, ''I never really got into that show, how about we watch --------???---- instead?'' or something of that nature. As far as Christmas, he should have kept his mouth shut in general,

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  • Ldizzy1234
    13 years ago

    I think it's normal, because it seem's like he didn't really give himself enough time to heal from the break up. I mean, you did say that you guy's started dating just a couple weeks after he broke it off with her. I don't think he gave himself enough time to recover. He might still have some feeling's left, especially since he got into a relationship so quickly after he had just ended one. He might just need some closure.

    But it's also true that he'll probably alway's have a place in his heart for her, that doesn't necessarily mean he would prefer her over you. It's just memories. The fact that he doesn't want to do certain thing's with you that he did with his ex, might just mean that, that was something special that was between just him and her, and that he doesn't want to have that with someone else. I wouldn't get offended by that though. Maybe you guy's can find something that the two of you could make, "your own" special thing that's just between the two of you.

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  • casper4
    13 years ago

    It is normal for someone to take a long time to get over their ex, especially if they had a lot of feelings for them. What is not normal is to carry on a relaitionship with someone else when they are so clearly not over the ex. Lay it on the line. He is with you. If he wants to be with you then he needs to be fully committed to the relationship and that means being open to doing anything with you. How will he ever get over the memories of his ex if he refuses to replace them with new ones?

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  • HSVWHO
    13 years ago

    ^ are you the new itduz?!!!

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    • chewy
      13 years ago

      im glad you asked yes

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  • chewy
    13 years ago

    sorry but most questions on here most people put is it normal this is it normal that when it doesnt even sound like an is it normal question just an advice story and they just put is it normal so it somewhat relates to the site

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  • daydreamer7
    13 years ago

    its normal to remind him a little bit but not that much to the point where he couldn't do something at least pretend not to hurt you and that would make me question if he was really over her. I'd be pissed if i were you especially after dating for a year

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Sounds like he is still too hooked on his ex. And that's not fair to you. It's one thing for him to not like something because his ex liked it but to totally get depressed because it reminds him of her is not ok.

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    It's normal. And he probably still has feelings for her. When you're with someone for so long, you're bound to make memories with them. The fact that he gets depressed is worrisome.

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  • baby.girl
    13 years ago

    I'm sorry to say but it sounds like he hasn't really gotten over her...some guys get into a relationship that quickly after ending the first in hopes to forget about the first...just don't dive into this relationship so you don't get hurt

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  • animalcracker
    13 years ago

    I am also in a long distance relationship with a beautiful girl from Brazil. Yesturday she told me that her ex boyfriend came to her school to do some things and they both saw each other and she told me that she almost started crying. I mean, they broke up a year and 6 months ago.. I think she should of forgetton about him.. what do you guys think?

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