Is it normal that a guy won't let his girlfriend have her own social media accounts?

5% Normal
14 Comments

My friend has a boyfriend, and I realized I didn't like him when she said she wasn't allowed to have a Snapchat because her boyfriend wouldn't let her because "other guys will find her". She's not allowed to have anything except Facebook (I'm pretty sure that only because her mom would beat his ass if he made her delete that). She has so far gotten rid of Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter. All. Because. Of. Him.
The only way she's allowed to go on the social media is if it's his account, but it's all under his name. I would be fine with it if he maybe made an account for both of them??? But all of it's under his name & it pisses me off. I know it's her relationship and all but it just seriously bugs me. I want to know if it's a thing that just happens in relationships or not?

I know I might sound like pissbaby but I needed to vent after 2 years of keeping this shit to myself, lmao.

Voting Results
5% Normal
Based on 22 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • charli.m
    6 years ago

    No. That's a huge red flag. No one has any right to restrict someone else like that. Doing so is indicative of an unhealthy possessive and more than likely abusive person.

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  • _Mehhhh_
    6 years ago

    Might as well throw a burka over her head while he's at it. God forbid anyone sees her.

    No it's not fucking normal, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's more than just emotional abuse going on.

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  • Justmehere
    6 years ago

    He shouldn't or can't prevent her from having social media accounts, but, I would ask, how many she, or anyone for that matter, needs anyway? Does she need to be on every site, probably all the time? As a guy, I'll say..That does give the impression that she's ok with getting hit up by other guys.

    In my own experience, I was dating a woman for a little bit, but, as she had health issues, didn't sleep much at night, so, was online sometimes all night. I'd check her FB page some mornings, and find she'd added many friends, mostly guys. In fact, I'd say nearly all guys. One night we were supposed to go out, and she said her back was acting up, which I knew, so, whatever. I later checked her page, and a long string of post talked about her having a "dinner date" (which, btw, was not with me), and a reply from a woman asking "Finally say yes to ???".

    Turns out, yep..She'd been talking to guys she met on FB, and had dinner with one..At his house. Think I didn't get pissed and end it with her? I did.. Any my mistrust of her was proven correct. Not that I could or would ever tell her get rid of her online accounts, but, I sure as hell didn't have to play the fool while she used the sites to meet other guys despite her various medical issues.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I've known her my entire life and she would never be okay with other guys trying to get with her when she's in a relationship, she always thought cheating was a shitty thing to do. She's had the social media accounts way before she was with her boyfriend and only wanted to go on there for fun when she was bored and had nothing else to do.

      They are a very loyal couple, honestly. They have been together for 2 years and want to get married someday.
      I just don't like the fact he did that, if someone tried to do that to me, their ass would be out the door, lmao.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    6 years ago

    No, as others have said, this is an abusive relationship and a recipe for disaster. I won't repeat the same points others have been making here, but this is a huge red flag and this guy might very well be fucking dangerous. It's not the mark of a good person to try to control the lives of the one they love.

    I would love to say I hope she sees reason and gets out before things get worse, but I too was once naive. I too, learned the hard way what a relationship like this eventually needs to. You've done what you can to help your friend - from here she must help herself. If she comes to you looking for a way out, find some resources for victims that she can utilize.. I don't know if they live together, if there's any financial dependance or other things like that complicating this relationship. If so, there are wonderful resources out there she can utilize to help get her out of there, but it's something she's going to have to come to on her own. Trying to force the issue further will likely only cause her to double down on her committment.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    She says, "I don't care, I'm naive, I know. But, I love him." In other words, in her silly little head, love is about someone being so infatuated that they want to control your every action. Got to wonder what her family is like, particularly her relationship with her father. As for the boyfriend, it's possible he's a psychopath-in-training.

    The boyfriend's behavior is very controlling and manipulative, and her response is extremely stupid and immature, but there's nothing you can do about that.

    Like others have said, it's very likely this will end badly, but you won't be responsible for that and, having told her what you think, you've done all you can.

    If watching this sick little drama unfold upsets you, the only thing you can do is detach. Tell her that you'll be happy to talk to her when she grows up and sees sense, but until then you'll be keeping your distance from her insecure, childish, and possibly baby-psychopath boyfriend.

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    • shade_ilmaendu
      6 years ago

      You did hit on something very important here that no one else mentioned... it's not OPs fault, regardless of how this all shakes down. They've done all they can to try to help their friend, but you can't get someone to see what's right in front of their face if they don't want to.

      I've been on both sides of this myself, and as much as it's awful to see your friends going through something like this.. you can't just talk someone out of an abusive relationship, not unless things have already hit that breaking point, just as surely as you can't talk someone out of quitting smoking if they don't want to quit.

      The only thing you can do OP is what you did, and then be there for your friend when this all goes down in flames, and I strongly suspect it will, this sort of behavior almost always escalates.

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  • Master.debater
    6 years ago

    He just doesn’t trust her. Can’t be much of a relationship if he distrusts her that much!

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    6 years ago

    That's not right to be so controlling of someone. It's not his business what she does on social media. But since you talked to her about it and she didn't change her mind, there's nothing else to be done.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    She needs to get rid of him ASAP!

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  • Handyman
    6 years ago

    He does not trust her, he could not be trusted either. Dump him.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    6 years ago

    Trust me, I've tried to tell her that he shouldn't do that but all she replied with was "I don't care, I'm naive, I know. But, I love him." They've been together for 2 years now and say they want to get married together. They are both very loyal to each other but it's just the fact he did all that throws me off. I mean he even changed her phone pass code. Like, who tf does that after a few months of a relationship???

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    • Maid_in_Pink
      6 years ago

      They sound like they are in that immature infatuation stage of a relationship still. I'm assuming they are fairly young as the whole social media thing and the way you suggest she acts are both huge indicators of emotional immaturity.

      Also on that note how he acts is exactly like a friend of mine's ex-boyfriend used to be. They were together for quite some time and lived together and he talked about it like it was for her own good and stuff but it eventually lead up to his true self coming out and he hit her one night. It wont lead up to that in every relationship but it's a possibility.

      I should probably also follow up with the fact that most of those immature infatuation relationships that turn into marriages end in unhappiness and divorce after one or two children and both parties end up miserable and trapped with their lives basically ruined.

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  • BeautifulDreamer612
    6 years ago

    That sound a lot like my cousins relationship with his girlfriend. She won't allow him any social media and he won't allow her any. She was also jealous of me hanging out with him. IM HIS COUSIN!!! Lol

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