Is it normal that a guy gets frustrated when i don't want to send nudes to him?

34% Normal
12 Comments

I suppose some background information is in order here. I'm a guy, and my friend in question is also I guy, and we're both around 30. He's straight and a bit bi-curious, and I'm bisexual. I'm NOT attracted to this guy, and I've said so to him. He's never expressed any desire for me.

So the thing is I've sort of been his testing dummy, letting him try out different things. I don't think I should give all details, it would be too personal, but he's given me a handjob for instance. Also he's been sending me nude pictures of himself on several occasions, and I've returned some in the spirit of being open minded and trusting him. After all, he lives some hours away, so I don't see him often. All this happened a few years ago.

Now he's started asking me to sending more nudes, and also wants me to visit him so he can try out more things. However, things have changed for me since then. I'm not too comfortable about sending such things to him, or anyone else for that matter. My aspects towards sex have changed as well. I've gained some experience making me realize that I don't have a huge desire for sex at the moment. Doing one time things just isn't me. It makes me feel sort of empty and lonely afterwards. Also I do a damn much better job myself, so I don't need someone else to satisfy my sexual needs. It's pointless basically. My current desires are all about cuddling up with someone, kissing and just being intimate with a person without the actual sex. I've tried to explain this too him, but I'm not sure he gets it. Or he sort of does, but doesn't understand that I need such intimacy on a regular basis, not from a guy 4+ hours away that I for obvious reasons can't visit when I want to.

So as I've said, he's started asking for more nudes, he wants to meet up, and I'm saying no to it. His latest response to this is being openly frustrated with me, saying he's tired of asking and feeling disappointed. I have to say, the feeling is mutual. Even though I haven't said it to him, I'm frustrated that he still asks, tired of him asking and disappointed that he doesn't get the point. Is this normal behaviour for a friend?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 35 votes (12 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • lc1988
    10 years ago

    This sounds a bit childish but when someone does that to me (not the exact same thing but when I'm not interested in them), I just start ignoring their texts. This seems to have moved on from just a simple friendship for quite some time now and since you've already told him no and he just doesn't get it...it's time to ignore him. Sure you might still get some outburst texts but I think it's worth it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      The thing is that I don't want the friendship to end. I can't imagine that there's any feelings involved here other than the friendly kind. He's been a good friend in the past, and despite everything that has happened I don't think I've given him any reason to think we're more than that. However, as a last resort I guess I might have to stop having contact with this guy.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Riddler
        10 years ago

        This happens to chicks all the time. If you are on the table than that some how gives them the impression they can harass you.

        Just break his face and tell him to fuck off. Some people are just pigs and its something that never changes. He is not going to get it. He is just a horn dog.

        This is typical behavior for a lot of men but I usually see this happening more with girl to guy situations. That said I know more straight and gay women next to gay men.

        They are not your friend they are just horny and looking for some ass. That is basically all you are to them at this point. Some people will do anything to get off. Including harassing people who clearly are not interested. He will probably stick his dick in anything and since he knows you are into dudes it put you on the market.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
      • lc1988
        10 years ago

        Ok I wasn't sure how deep the friendship was. Maybe not ignore him forever but it could be the wake up call he needs to realize he's making you uncomfortable.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • kawaiigurl
    10 years ago

    SO many guys do this. they get bitter you won't give in to them but they still persist. it's a really annoying combination. tell him to bother someone else about it or just blatantly ignore him

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Yep, I know. It's not the first time I experience this. I just didn't expect what I thought is/was a friend would do this.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      Agree

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    No one should ever try to make you do things that you don't want. A no should always be respected! I also understand you completely if you don't wish to fool around with a guy who you don't have feelings for and maybe you should just cut him out of your life entirely if he's just acting like this .

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Hayze
    10 years ago

    I have had to put up with this situation ever since I reached adolescence.

    On the Internet it is worst. You get such rude behaviour because many act without concern for consequence.

    I cannot go to a nightclub without pushy guys insisting that I give them my number and just in case I might dare give them a fake number they insist on calling straight away to make sure it was real. Crazy to me because the way I see it: if he suspects I would give a fake number then clearly there is suspicion that I am not interested, so instead of just being charming he gets all creepy? Good job, real smart.

    I even dated a guy who was so persistent that he would not take no for an answer. The "relationship" lasted six months, most of which I spent trying to work out a "nicer" way to dump him. Every time I got close to it he would do something that would make me feel like a bitch. It is wrong to dump a guy near his birthday, wrong to dump him at Christmas, wrong if he has just made an effort to be nice to me. In the end I realised there was never going to be a "right time" and I was never going to be able to avoid the unpleasant truth. He hated me for it. He was convinced I cheated on him! The fact is I never wanted to be his girlfriend in the first place. I never lied or pretended otherwise and I did not do anything wrong but give in to his whining and persistence. I will *never* make that mistake again and it was a valuable life lesson.

    All in all though, most guys are nice. Many suffer with incredible fear of rejection to the point where they dare not even try at all. When you find somebody is incompatible for any reason, and yes being too pushy is a good reason, you just have to be very honest about it with the person and move on.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • shuggy-chan
    10 years ago

    What, thats totally normal, I send nudes to all my guy friends and give them handies too, so when are we metting up buddy?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Can I join?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    This a more serious answer that I just had to throw out there, but taking care of it yourself really is awesome (Sex wise), I personally don't see a big difference when you factor in the risks and other nonsense that goes into it. Also ignoring him is the best advice and that was already mentioned.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0