Is it normal or is this harassment?

10% Normal
17 Comments

There's this girl that just barrages me with messages. Right now I'm looking at seven, "hey"s and "hiya"s. If I'm out she will turn up at the bar I'm at and keep texting me to sit with her. On the occassions I do she keeps touching my legs, saying sexual things to me, etc. I tend to leave after that point and relocate to another bar. When I leave she texts me again asking where I went, I'm missed, she wants me back where she is, which I tend to ignore.

If I don't text her back she keeps messaging how she's needing company, how she's feeling lonely, that she needs me, and if I ignore them she will be all like, "fine! I see my feelings don't matter! Why can't we just be together!?"

I've told her to stop this shit time and time again but it just doesn't. She's a bit too obsessed.

Is this normal?

Voting Results
10% Normal
Based on 30 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Yeah. It's harassment, stalking, and emotional manpulation.

    You're basically getting a mouth full of what most women have to deal with or watch out for on the daily basis from some guys and other women.

    Here's what you do: Block her immediately. Does she know your full name? Then change the privacy settings on your social media accounts to hide friends list and everything else. Does she know where you live? Then be sure to keep your doors and windows locked, and get your mail early. As for the bar, pick a new one further away and don't tell anyone from the old bar. Lastly, tell a trusted friend/family member what's been going on.

    Stalkers are no joke, especially if they're female.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Used to be friends but she started getting too obsessive. Her friends are my friends, hell I'm even at the same job as her mother. So I can't just block her and be done with it. I tried ignoring her completely once when we were all out with friends and she started screaming the bar down, a mutual friend told her to stop being such a bitch to me and he got slapped. Litrally had to hold her back.

      She knows where I live, where I work, etc. I'm sure she wouldn't just turn up to my place out of the blue but I look after my 18 year old brother so I don't think I'd get her sneaking in and killing me and offing herself so we can be together forever. Hahaha.

      She knows all bars I go to if I'm out for the night, sadly. The others are too far to travel.

      Sad thing is we used to be friends, she's was nice and all but it's gradually got to this state. She just messaged me again. Bleh.

      I'm sure it'll work out. Thanks for your input. :)

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      • Tealights
        7 years ago

        No problem. Sorry, I was treating this as if she was a random girl you hooked up with at the bar.

        In your case, since it's more sensitive, I suggest you Google female stalkers and learn all you can. Female stalkers have this way of ruining your life once they have all the information they need and get angry enough.

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Block her?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Not as simple.

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      • mysistersshadow
        7 years ago

        Why?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          Because she's not just someone I know online.

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  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    yah thats harrassment

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  • Stryk3istrukuout
    7 years ago

    You either need to stop replying to her texts or verbally tell her (honestly, but not maliciously) that she needs to leave you alone and that you are not looking for a relationship with her because any continued communication is enabling her. You make it sound like you can't not go to the bars for a couple of weeks or remove yourself from your friends. Whatever the case, it sounds like she isn't in a good place and you probably are and it triggers some kind of resentment/insecurity/neediness for her in seeing you live assumptively freely.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I've told her I'm not interested numerous times. Never works.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    Yep slap her with a fish till she gets it.

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  • JazzDiva
    7 years ago

    Did you say it to her face or did you just text her. Verbal is way more powerful. She's obssesive and sounds childish. Block her number. Maybe look into a restraining order and make sure when you drive she's not following you. Also be more visual of your surroundings She might have a buddy that keeps an eye on you too.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    7 years ago

    ahahaha. I say fight fire with fire. Text her:

    WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME FOREVER???

    SITTING ON THE TOILET... CANT STOP THINKING OF YOU...

    I LOVE IT WHEN YOU BRUSH MY LEGS WITH YOUR UNSHAVEN LEGS AND OUR LEG HAIRS BECOME INTERTWINED. THE VELCRO OF ETERNAL LOVE

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  • mrbrownfinger
    7 years ago

    Is she hot? Maybe she just wants a fucking and will leave you alone after

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Well everyone seems to think she is but I can't say she's hot due to this whole thing. I'm not attracted to her.

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      • mrbrownfinger
        7 years ago

        Just get drunk and fuck her, sex with a crazy woman has always been fun from my experience.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    She's really messed up and scary in my humble opinion. To be completely honest I would not ever respond to another message of hers ever, like never ever!

    If you are afraid or have a hard time not cutting ties entirely I would highly recommend that you at least gradually phase her out. If you feel the need to communicate with her bat shit crazy ass tell her that you're tired and that you need some space. The goal is to get the fuck away from her, and do so as soon as possible.

    Good luck and please remember that whenever you set a boundary with someone that it's best to ignore the person's tears or pleas of loneliness, and remember that if the person continually disregards a boundary you set it's a lack of respect for you on his or her part not to mention an inability to accept reality.

    Please be careful and God bless you. You are not alone!

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