Is it normal not to know what to do with my life?

7 Comments

I am unhappy with my life. It isn't bad but I want more for myself. I went to college and I work a job that I love in a place I grew up (and the job actually relates to what I went to school for) but to be honest it doesn't pay enough for me to really build a life for myself. And that makes me unhappy. I want to do things like be able to drive a decent car instead of one that I've driven since I was 18 years old and afford to live in an apartment (or better yet, buy a home!) that is in a safe neighborhood with no roommate.

I could start applying for jobs in bigger cities, closer or farther away. I have good experience now on top of that education, and I probably would except...

I have this boyfriend. He treats me as I would like to be treated, loves me even when I'm not being so nice, and he's successful and makes really good money. We have been dating for almost two years and I was hoping that maybe he could be my roommate, that would make me really happy, but he is old-fashioned and won't live with a woman who he isn't married to. I don't think that he has any intention of marrying me anytime soon so I am in this situation now where I will probably lose my roommate in the next couple of months and end up in the humiliating situation of a 31 year old woman living with her parents... at least for a little while. I really am 100% against accepting any monetary support from the boyfriend. I want to feel like I can take care of myself and keep my pride. I think it is foolish to be an adult and have to rely on other people to support a standard of living that you cannot perpetuate on your own. What happens if we split up then? I'll be really out of luck!

I really, really love my boyfriend but obviously his foot dragging is making me wonder if I should just break my own heart and dump him before I give him the opportunity to do it himself. Aside from that, I do sort of feel like I am resistant to moving in large part because of our relationship. Other than that I really do love my job so that's a player too, and there isn't any guarantee I'd be happy anywhere else... so, what do you think I should do? Or at least give more thought to?

Thanks.

Find a new job with higher pay in a far away place (start over) 6
Find a job closer to home with higher pay (within a day's drive) 6
Stay where you are- living with parents will be good for you 3
Demand to know what my bf is thinking and then make a decision 8
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Comments ( 7 )
  • kittyg7113
    12 years ago

    It sounds like this is about more than what's on the surface. If your gut is telling you to get more out of life, you need to take a risk and go for it. Don't do anything stupid (like moving without a job or getting an apartment you can't afford), but start saving up to move out, and look into jobs in nearby big cities (4-10 hours away if possible). It's better to take the plunge rather than staying where you are forever and always wondering what might have been. And if you find yourself missing your old life, just move back.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    What the hell is wrong with women today?? I just dont understand it. Honestly, I am a huge troll and usually dont care one way or another what the hell gets posted, and I try to get people pissed off, but this whole post is just ridiculous.

    You went to college and work a job YOU LOVE (key words) in the place you grew up (which allows to stay in touch with your parents) And then you have a boyfriend, a boyfriend who treats you the way you want to be treated, AND makes good money but since he is old fashioned and wont live with you until marriage he is suddenly expendable, just cause you dont want to live with your parents at 31. And you love, or at least say you do.

    You women today are ridiculous, honestly you are. I dont what the hell made you this way, is it reality TV? Soap Operas? Romantic Comedies? What the hell makes you think life is meant to be perfect and to throw a perfectly good life away just because it isnt picture perfect like that romantic comedy you just saw?

    A college education, a job you LOVE (I hate mine by the way, even though it is a pretty good one) a boyfriend who makes really good money, who treats you fantastically, even when you dont deserve it, and you are upset about maybe having to live with your parents at 31 temporarily. Everyone should have your "problems".

    I refuse to give you any advice or vote on what you should do. The only thing I would vote for is for your boyfriend to dump you since you are disillusioned and unappreciative women. Like the majority of them today. Its hilarious you are even considering breaking up with him.

    I would say you are trolling, but this post is FAR too long and descriptive to be anything BUT the truth. Plus I know many women who are exactly like you.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      You're awesome.

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  • mexiguytex87
    12 years ago

    id have to agree with others..... take a step back open your eyes and realize how good your life is, its not great, but I'm pretty sure its pretty awesome. Yes you should open up to your boyfriend but not in an emotional wreck way just talk to him serious after you do something for him to show him you appreciate him like cooking him something that way he listens to you completly.or what kitty says is really good too take a risk

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    "I think it is foolish to be an adult and have to rely on other people to support a standard of living that you cannot perpetuate on your own. "

    Suck it up. Seriously. You think he is foot dragging as far as marrying you goes, yet YOU won't accept his help? Marriage is a partnership, two people that love, depend on, and support eachother. Why would any man in his right man marry a women that won't even let him help pay the bills for her? Believe it or not, many men like and enjoy being providers, and he has all of those qualities AND is willing to pay your bills?

    Jesus H. Christ, women wonder why there are no good men left. When you catch a good fish, you don't throw it back, you tell your friends to back the hell off and run home with it. Get over your pride, realize that your life is great and that being an "independant woman" is a fucking illusion that leads most women into sadness and lonliness while the great men that they dumped have beautiful families and lives, be happy with what you have and quit letting your pride get in the way of your happiness. It's called compromise and it sounds like you haven't done much of it.

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  • RinTin
    12 years ago

    If you want more for yourself then do it. Discuss it with your boyfriend and find out what's going to happen. He already has a successful career. I'm sure he wouldn't want to hold you back. Different things fulfill different people.

    Don't wait for something that might not happen. I don't know what your relationship is like so I can't give you much advise but I think you should establish yourself. I wouldn't want to live with a roommate at 31 either let alone my parents house, I'd want to live on my own at least.

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  • RosiePosy18
    12 years ago

    Talk to him, he might not realise the trouble his indecision is causing you. Once it's all out in the open everything else will become much clearer and you can make your decision. Don't pin everything on him or what he says, but do take it into consideration. You seem to have a pretty decent life and you're clearly well educated and sensible. Talk to him, your parents and your workmates and then see if you still feel the same. :)

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