Is it normal normal i'm a guy but my girlfriend is a lesbian?

33% Normal
13 Comments

We've been dating for over a year now and little by little I've been learning what she's actually into. It didn't take too long to realize that she has some bisexual tendencies but over time I realized that she's not bi she's full lesbian.

She started dating me because we were already friends and sex simply isn't something she thinks about that much. As I started noticing her bi sexual tendencies she would occasionally tell me she liked some girl we passed by(this is rare for 2 reasons, she as stated before isn't very sexually charged and she's always repressed it so her parents wouldn't know). So initially I assumed this meant that she was occasionally into girls but her general trend was towards guys, WRONG.

Overtime I've discovered and she's mostly admitted her general trend is having no sexual interests, her occasional desire for girls is when her sex drive is working. I've talked to her about this and found out that(although she tried to avoid telling me to spare my feelings) she isn't really physically into me. We've done stuff together and she enjoys it but that all stems from an emotional connection not a physical one. While she's not into me physically she does Love me so it creates a kind of sort of attraction. but I find it all very strange. Because she's only physically into girls, her attraction to me is mostly emotional not physical.

SO is it normal for a lesbian to date and be in Love with a guy?

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 48 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Livellovelife
    8 years ago

    I think if she has an emotional attachment to you and you really do believe that she loves you and it shouldn't matter what she's into sexually I'm sure she has an attraction to you my advice is if you know that she's in a girls thing you should trying to spice things up maybe watch some girl on girl maybe have a threesome you shouldn't make her feel like she's into sexually is wrong if you're in a devoted relationship then you should open up and give her what she wants and what you think might satisfy her urge and then you guys could be happy

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  • Helloworld101
    7 years ago

    is she just a lesbian or is she bi if shes bi yes and even if not GO FOR IT!

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  • Jebus-Kreist
    8 years ago

    Sounds like she just leans towards woman if you are in a functioning relationship with her. Most of the love in a relationship is emotional as it is, physically is just an added bonus. Take for instance if someone is attracted to someone else simply because of looks and nothing else, that relationship will probably fail within a short time(my eldest step-sister has like 4 or 5 kids with different fathers). And relationships based more around emotions will probably last a long time, because someones emotions don't change unless something traumatic happens.

    Just because she is mostly turned on by woman, but is emotionally in love with you, doesn't mean much of anything. They say every woman is secretly bisexual, it's just that your's is blatantly open about it. Especially if she claims to be a lesbian, but is willing to throw that clean out the window for you. She's just sexually confused because what she loves and what she finds attractive are two different things. Kind of like married couples who have been together for a long time. They may ogle other people, but they know who they love.

    My mother was married to a guy over 30 years ago. She had a kid with him(most successful kid in the family at that), but after a while they realized that they saw eachother as more of friends than lovers and went their separate ways. When he recently died a year or two ago it was devastating to her because they were closer than best friends because of their past experiences.

    There is no bad way for this relationship to end, so just ride it out and see where it goes. At worst you make a lifelong friend, anything else is a lifepartner. You just might have to be creative when it comes to her sexual needs.

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  • WhiteWolf1028
    8 years ago

    if she is with you then it is more likely she is a lesbian leaning BI...I know I am a Gay leaning BI...

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  • charli.m's_Forever_Period
    8 years ago

    She is suppressing her sexual feelings to appear normal. You are helping her. The best you'll get is a sibling relationship with her. If you fuck, her resentment will build. This is not good. Find someone else.

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    • Jebus-Kreist
      8 years ago

      They've already done that. She resents nobody. She is just sexually confused and who she loves and what she finds attractive are two different things.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Sounds like you both would be more happier if you two were to remain friends and date different people.

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  • Steve2WantsTheManagement2Reply
    8 years ago

    If she's not sexually interested in you, but in the opposite sex, then she is not your girlfriend, child.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    So your idea of a healthy relationship is to hang with a girl who will never be your lover? You would do this because?
    I understand that sex isn't everything in a relationship, but seriously, it does have a place in a healthy one.
    Stop fooling yourself, this girl may be a friend, but she will never be your girlfriend.
    Let go of that idea and go find yourself a healthy, two way relationship, and keep this girl as a friend.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Perhaps I didn't clarify, when I said we've done stuff. We have engaged in some sexual activities, it isn't a completely sexless relationship. She's given me blow jobs and stuff a few times.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        Hardly activities one would expect from a lesbian.
        Perhaps there is a chance you two can make it work, once she figures out her sexual identity.
        Good luck.

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  • Poes
    8 years ago

    My thoughts are you look like a poes, which is Afrikaans for pussy!

    You are probably a boy/girl!

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  • haze26
    8 years ago

    Would like to hear what a lesbians thoughts on this would be. As a man I can only Imagen what it must feel like having someone be there for you emotionally, But not sexually! Might be very wrong by saying this but perhaps introducing a 3rd person who would be able to bring out the sexual part in your relationship may take it to the next level

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