Is it normal my stepdad takes/throws away my things when i'm 19?

I'm a 19 year old girl who just recently moved back into my moms basement, because I just had a bad breakup. I'm not close to my stepdad at all, in fact we've had a bad past here before I moved out because we both don't like eachother. (but have to pretend we somewhat do) I've been trying really hard to get back on my feet and I've been following all their rules, but when I leave he sometimes still for whatever reason looks through my entire room. Sometimes trashing it and throwing garbage everywhere. He's taken my TV (which is almost laughable because it's so stupid) and he apologized, but yet I just got home after a few days of being out and he threw my bong away and went through it again. (I've never even smoked at the house) IIN? I feel like this is a little fucked up. He also made a weird remark about NOT going through my underwear drawer? My mom has gotten mad at him before about doing it because I complain, but she's always still on his side nonetheless.

Is It Normal?
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  • Get a lock for your room if it's a room in the basement. If he breaks in you can call the police and have him charged with illegal entry at least or break and enter. Make sure to tell both your mom and step father about the lock and refuse any crap about removing it. If you are threatened call the police. It's time to set your limits and enforce them. Don't take any more crap!

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  • Stepparents tend to be assholes, so yeah, it's normal. I've never met one person who actually liked their stepmother or stepfather, and many of them outright hated their stepparents.

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  • Nobody should be taking and throwing away your stuff now that you are an adult it's your property and not theirs to destroy

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  • You gotta get out asap, problem solved

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  • Time to look for some roommates. He's just a piece of shit who is trying extra hard to assert himself as the head of household. He wants to assert his power over you because he knows you don't like him, and because he's probably jealous of the attention your mom gives you, because you're not his kid or whatever.

    I'm sorry your mom married an asshole. She should stand up for you, because you're her child. Maybe she's afraid to be alone, or can't survive financially without his help. Regardless, don't leave anything shady in your room, and do start looking for a decent roommate. I'm genuinely sorry that you are having this problem.

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    • Thanks, yeah it sucks. And they're expecting me to pay 200$ by the end of the month for rent and I don't even have a job in this area yet. To make matters worse my phone broke yesterday, so I don't even know how to get one. Sigggghhhh, I was really excited to smoke and be less stressed out

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      • If you're in the us, you can get a free lifeline phone online or at any street corner at those temp booths people set up.

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  • That's illegal. You can have him arrested for destruction of property, even if it's his home. Put a lock on your door and Tell him next time you're calling the cops filing a report.

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