Is it normal my mum is this homophobic??

19 Comments

My mum in the past has always rubbished bi sexuals and gays. Over the past few years she's gotten used to the idea of lesbians and gay guys in the way that she believes certain people are legitimately born gay. Thing is, I feel she's seriously homophobic! For example, i told her one my friends was lovely and wished me "Happy Birthday Beautiful"! She said eeew, who said that? I told her its not eew and she was like , that's a bit gay. I explained most girls say these things to one another. Another case, one of my clients comes over every 4-5 days to buy live food to feed to her amphibian. My mum thinks thats weird how frequently she comes over and says stuff like "Maybe she likes u!"
Also she anti bi because she feels all bi people are lustful and enjoy experimenting and such. I think its unfair to judge all bi sexual people because I think there are those genuine bi people who fall for a person and arnt just into experimenting with different 'parts' if u see what I mean!

Your mum is definitely homophobic 19
Your mum is a little homophobic 12
Your mum isn't homophobic 7
Your mum doesn't know anything! 11
Other 1
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Comments ( 19 )
  • JoeyJJJ
    7 years ago

    My mom was the exact opposite. She hated seeing me with girls and wanted me to be gay. She tried to teach me its normal, but I dont swing that way ad didnt find guys attractive. Se used to get very angry when she saw me talking to my girl friend over the phone/directly and used to scold me. She even bought magazines of half naked men posing, which disgusted me. I argued back. She than revealed that she hated the thought of me having to spend my life with a woman other than her to care for me and didn't like other women touching me and would rather it be a guy which made her feel safe. I told her flatly, thyat I love my girl friend and just because you are my mother you have no right to cotrol my life, and eventually after hitting 18 I moved out of her house to my Uncle and Aunts house. My girl friend and I attened the same college and got married after finishing college and have two kids and are living a happy life. Sometimes I still receive letters from mother telling me to go back to her divorcing my wife and still thinks she can get me to hook up with a man. Like thats gonna happen. Phobia of any kind is wrong wheather its homophobia or heterophobia, and no one has the right to influence anyone's sexuality. Like it is wrong for your mother to try to force you to be straight, it was wrong for my mother to force me to be gay. Be with who ever you love, I love my wife and no one can ever take her place!

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    • Crow
      7 years ago

      Woah. Don't hear about the exact opposite much.

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      • Dunga
        7 years ago

        So what if you don't? That happens too. One of my friend was raised by a gay couple who wanted their adopted son to be gay too, but he turned straight and liked a girl and when his gay fathers refused to accept it he moved away from the house and started worrying a grocery shop while living in a rented house and eventually married his girl friend. Homophobia and heterophobia are both wrong and no parents have the right to influence a child's sexuality. But parents have always been more against children engaging in relationship with the opposite sex. It is easy to hide same sex love from parents who might think its just friendship, but parents, especially today are more oppressive against their child mixing with the opposite sex.

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        • Crow
          7 years ago

          What do you mean "so what if I don't?"

          I said I don't hear about it much. That's it. It's a comment expressing my surprise. My surprise doesn't mean that I think it doesn't happen.

          "Don't hear about the exact opposite much." Implies I hear about it but not to the same extent.

          My comment doesn't mean that I ~magically~ believe that homophobia and heterophobia are okay and parents have the right to influence a child's sexuality. It's literally a comment expressing my surprise. Do you think heterophobia is as prevalent as homophobia? No, Sherlock, it isn't. I don't see why you're trying to tell me what I already know.

          Save your essays for a relevant response.

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          • Dunga
            7 years ago

            Yes it is, heterophobia is just as prevelent. You might not have faced it, but many do. Parents restrict the degree of the extent to which opposite sex goes with esach other. They tell dating teens no kissin, no touching. Some even forbid them from mixing with the opposite sex at all. It is much easier to hide homosexuality that heterosexuality from then. If a girl asks her mom "mom I am having a sleep over with my 'girl' friend", she might suspect nothing and tell ok and look after themselves. But if a girl asks her mom, "mom I am going to have a sleep over with my 'boy' friend", she will outright ban it. The media is trying to hide heterophobia in favor of promoting LGBT even further, but heterophobia exists. Heterosexual sex offences gets much less punishment than homosexual ones, and with all the public support for it, homos have been known to get away with it easily. If society wants us to accept homosexuality like heterosexuality, there should be equal punishment for both sex offenders, but homos get much less penalty. If a woman refuses to hug a straight guy and share a room with him its all right, but if a man refuses to hug a gay man and share a room with him he is called homophobic? If that is the case, I am proud to be homophobic, because I will not let a gay man sexually exploit me. And the woman who refused that is heterophobic, and if you deny that and claim homosexual offences are not as bad as heterosexual ones, you are a hypocrite. Both homophobia and heterophobia exists, but people have the freedom of choice and no one can influence anyone's sexuality!

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  • pixiecutlover
    7 years ago

    Who knows realy. I wouldent worry about her. She doesnt have to accept other peoples kinky weird sex habbits. She probably wouldent,want to hear about people that were into the two girls one cup thing either. Theirs nothing wrong with your mom she's repulsed by something repulsive is all. Also, remember "homophobic" isn't a real thing, it's a political buzz word cooked up by people that believe they have a right to tell others how to think and feel about things. Those are the ones you should be suspicious of, not your mother.

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  • DuHast
    7 years ago

    It actually sounds like she's kinda fixated on it. She's bringing it up in situations that have nothing to do with gayness.
    So...obvious conclusion is that she's a little bit gay herself and enjoying some good old overcompensating, self-loathing and denial.

    If not, then yeah she's still pretty homophobic. Lots of older people are, you just gotta try and let them know some things are inappropriate and reign them in, if need be. No point having a full on debate though, usually.
    Just my opinyun.

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    • Dunga
      7 years ago

      Speak for yourself, hating something does not make you what you hate. Hating pedophiles does not make anyone a pedophile, hating gays don't make people gay. This is the lamest counter to homlphobics "you are what you hate" which is baseless and retarded. Just because you follow some life style and others disapprove it and don't follow it doesn't give you the right to claim they are denying it, its coming from your own perception and you have no right to speak others. I am a straight guy, I find homosexuality disgusting, but don't bash them based on their lifestyles and if I did find other men attractive, I wouldnt deny it, and have nothing against homosexuals unless they interfere in my life (there are lots of gay man whores in the place I live and I get really annoyed when they call me). But the main thing is just hating/fearing something does not make one what they hate/fear and the argument that homophobes are secrately gays themselves is baseless, and is used as a conter by gays who get all butt hurt when they speak against their lifestyles to any the homophobes so that they don't further tease them. But the you are what you hate argument is pathetic and invalid.

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      • DuHast
        7 years ago

        Slow down chief, you've missed the point.

        I said she might be gay because she seems fixated on it, "she's bringing it up in situations that have nothing to do with gayness", not just because she's homophobic.

        Then I suggested that might not even be the case.

        Edit: Or to put it another way, it's not "you are what you hate", it's: "You are what you strangely keep accusing other people of for no actual reason"...

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        • Dunga
          7 years ago

          Yes you are right no one should accuse people of something without actual reason. Hating something does not make someone what he/she hates but no one should accuse people like that over such small things.

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          • DuHast
            7 years ago

            You mean like I just did? ha....ok, fair point (if that's what you meant). But yeah, I do agree.

            And for the record, I'm not saying the mum's definitely gay or anything - it just seemed like a possibility when I read the post.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Thanks for your feedback !
      I know she jokes from time to time about going gay if she has another fuked up relationship with a guy.
      With having said that, im 90% sure its a joke and she'd never be able to be involved with a woman. I do wish she'd stop this judgement though.

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  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    when I was little about 6 or 7 I had a friend who I hung out with from time to time, when my mother found out his mother was a lesbian (or bi I guess since she was obviously with a guy at one time) and living with a woman she wouldn't let me play with him anymore.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Aww that's sad! Sorry to hear that ! Did your mum ever grow out of it ? Lol

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      • MR.mr
        7 years ago

        no

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  • agoodlovejoy
    7 years ago

    Respect you Mums opinion because she is you elder. You love for people, unconditionally, is great. Your Mum doesnt literally know how to love

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  • RamenNoodleMaster#2
    7 years ago

    your mom is immature not homophobic. she needs to stop acting like a 6 year old, and grow a pair...ops i mean put on her big girl shoes cause growing a pair would be "gay".

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