Ask Your Question today
On new years eve, my husband told me he would like us to experiment sexually by either swinging or having an open relationship.
Is this normal and is he cheating on me?
| Yes, it's normal | 15 | |
| Yes, you should try swinging | 17 | |
| Yes, you should try an open relationship | 13 | |
| Yes, he's cheating on you | 3 | |
| No, he just wants permission to cheat on you | 34 |
There are dangers that go with having another partner and the key is absolute open communication. What does he say when you talk to him about it? If you can't openly discuss sucking another guys dick or watching him or be with another woman then you aren't ready. I mean really open. Will you let the guy cum inside you? Will you swallow? Can he cum in another women? Do you both always have to be together? Can two 3 guys fuck all your holes at the same time while he watches?
Figure out the rules and during this process you'll instinctively know if you can handle it as a couple.
I don't think I would mind if he cums inside another woman. As long as it's just sex, and not a everyday thing.
My concern is more where this leads to, and not so much the fact he might cum inside another woman.
Ask him how he'd feel watching another man's cum bubble out of your pussy or asshole, how'd he like to see you hungrily sucking his cum off his cock, lapping his balls, rimming out his ass? He needs to be cool with all this.
He says he is fine with it, if he doesn't have to watch, and he can have whatever woman he wants.
Yeah, alarm bells just went off if he can't watch. He just wants to fuck other women.
There was a post last week about a guy who ruined his marriage doing this. You should read it. Basically the wife enjoyed it more than he did and he is pissed off.
Happens a lot.
To me it sounds like he wants to have sex with other women, but wants his marriage to you as well. It's either has been cheating on you, or he has someone in mind he would like to have sex with.
By swinging or having an open relationship, he would not be cheating on you.
If you are open to the idea, then try the swinging thing. That way you at least know who he is having sex with, and you get something new at the same time.
Open sex with other people is not for everyone. My ex gf was the perfect example for us to be swingers. She wanted to do it and was constantly asking me about doing it. We never did. With my new wife things are completely different. She is very old fashioned and is not into deep sex at all, however, she knows how horny i am and keep me get away with my fantasies which she enjoys them once in a while. I bought her toys but she is not either into toys. So for now i am dealing with that and constantly having fantasies about her with another guy and his large cock and seen her enjoying it....
So do you think you can talk her into it?
My husband hasn't directly says he wants to see me with another man, more like he wants permission to have sex with other woman, and therefore, he is willing to let me have sex with other men, to get what he wants.
I have found that many guys have the same fantasy i have with their wife and another man doing her but they are scared to fulfill the fantasy.
Probably but this is about seen her enjoying another man large cock. If she agree we for it!!
Just ask your husband directly how he feels about you banging other dudes.
My concern is what if the other woman is better in bed than I am and he starts fucking her all the time instead of me.
I don't care if he fucks another woman a few times, but would be concerned if it becomes more than just sex.
You have to be ready to do all those dirty things he wants that you won't do now -- like anal, golden showers, rimming. Otherwise the other woman will please him more. So practice up or forget it.
Well that's the danger isn't it? How often does "just sex" lead to more and break up an existing relationship? Fairly often I reckon.
If you don't feel secure enough to take that risk, don't go along with it. Of course, there's always the possibility some bloke will be better in bed for you than he is, ever thought of that?
I suppose, the saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
I guess, I need to figure out some ground rules, as I really don't want this "fantasy" to spiral out of control.
Any ideas?
Most of the straying when it comes to men is sexual.
Typically, a man needs one "regular" woman in his life, but is open to having several "side" ones. The side ones may come and go, but the regular one generally stays the same. Just look at the wealthy/popular men who can afford many women, and yet stay married to the same woman despite their mistresses. Actually, if anything, those with mistresses are the ones who never dump their wives.
80% of divorces are initiated by women. If you're not too much of a pain to be around, chances are he won't leave you no matter how hot of how much of a good lay another woman is. And he'll still want to bang you (if you're still bangable) even if he does other women, since men like sexual variety.
But that's only half of the equation. The other half is you not dumping him because of the new dicks you'll be getting. And for that, he's gonna have to keep an eye on you and on the men you're screwing, and perhaps not let you get too close to any of them. If the idea of you getting fucked by other men turns him on, he'll get involved regardless.
The most common ground rules are honesty about what's going on and a commitment to not fall in love with anyone else: that last one is so out of anyone's control that it's very often broken = broken marriages/relationships.
I think it’s a very adventurous option. I have suggested to my boyfriend we should have an open relationship and by no means does it mean I want to cheat on him or be with someone else. I consider myself bisexual although I’ve had no sexual relationship with a female and that’s something I’d love to experiment with while still being with him. I’d love to have fun with him also and have a threesome with someone of his choice just to make it easier for him and I’ve often suggested it a few times and he’s either shrugged it off or jokingly said sure but if it really happened I wouldn’t love him any less. He’s definitely my soul mate and after 8 crucial years together I don’t understand what harm it could do. I say be open towards it and try it
Its a horribly bad idea. Ive known three couples who tried the swinging thing and two were divorced within a year and the other is a marriage in name only, where they are together only until their kids are older. It seems to me that too often when people test their love, it doesn't pass the test.
My wife brought Penthouse forums to my attention just after our 2nd child was born. After much horny reading together we answered some adds in the personals in the local paper. No internet then. We met quite a few over a couple of years, at small parties. The normal swinger would only ever meet once, or rarely twice, so emotions didn't develop I imagine. Women were careful about protection. Parties seldom were more than 3 or 4 couples. It was fun, but not forfilling without that cuddling and going to sleep together after feeling. Then HIV came along and we stopped doing it. During our time swinging we never had any strain on the marriage, and for most of our 16 years together were very happy. Unfortunately an issue arose way down the track that did the trick and broke us up. Years after I look back and think it shouldn't have happened, but you can't turn back time.
My wife and I had an open relationship and NEVER regretted it! We had regular group sex with four other couples which often involved playing truth or dare. The best fuck I've ever seen was on a dare for my wife to fuck my best friend from college (he was black). She gave him deepthroat then fucked his brains out as the rest of us cheered them on. That night, we all slept with each other's spouses for great sex. My wife fucked the same guy (her dare) and I fucked his wife. My wife had a little black baby girl 9 months later which I love dearly. Through the years we all had sex with each other, even same gender sex. Have never regretted for one second our open relationship.
It sounds like he wants a little variety. Talk to him about an open relationship.
I watch a 17 year old boy with a big dick fuck my 28 year old wife for three days this year at the beach home we rented. He had to had fucked her over 20 times the last day they fucked I had to kiss, lick and put ice on her pussy for the next 24hr. for the rest of that week I did not get her pussy Cindy was fucked out. I did get off on watching that boy 8in dick fuck Cindy all over that house
I love the idea of an open relationship. As long as there are boundaries. If you are secure enough in your relationship then try it. You can start with same room sex. Or just watching another couple while having sex. Start slow.
me and my boyfriend have had established from day one that we are an open relation ship the only condition being that we have to get along with the other person and be willing to except them and if you get to fuck them you cant stop me from perusing sex with them as well then again we both love harem anime... so... yah
I’d say most people don’t like the idea of an open relationship or swinging so it’s not the norm as it were, but enough people engage in it to make it fairly common.