Is it normal my husband spanks me when i make him angry

32 Comments

If I do or say something my husband doesn’t like, he pulls my skirt up and spanks me. He says men have a responsibility to keep their wives in line. We have been married a long time and he has always been this way. I have always accepted it as it was rare that he did that, but lately he seems to be more short tempered. The other day he did it to me in the street which he has never done before. There were not many people about but it was still embarrassing.

He should only do this in private 24
It’s ok that he does this anywhere 8
He shouldn’t do this at all 27
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Comments ( 32 )
  • Nickvey
    5 years ago

    sounds like a sexual thing

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Punch him the throat.

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  • Whatintarnation
    5 years ago

    Spanking is a punishment for naughty children. Tell him to keep his hands to himself. Sounds like a dick

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  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    It sounds as if he's groomed you well for years to accept being bullied and assaulted: that's really really sad and I hope you don't have kids who are learning from his example that this is ok in a relationship

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    Because I have had a bad life I always thought when he does this to me it’s not really ok, but compared to before I was married and the life I had it’s not so bad. He always says a man should discipline his wife when she needs it. I always told myself if it makes me a better wife then I guess it’s not so bad. But really I always thought underneath he shouldn’t do this, but how do I stop him. Only on the odd time when he is really mad I feel a bit scared but I know he will not hurt me really bad it’s just humiliating and gives me a sore bum for a little while. But in my previous life I was scared all the time and I never wanted to go back to that so I stayed and then we had the children so I could never leave. But now they are young adults making their own lives and I was happy about that and my life carried on with my husband and I know his expectations so he would not be cross to much. But lately he is so bad tempered and I thought it is not really ok that he spanks me. I thought who makes a rule that he should be in charge. So I asked my question on this site, but nearly half the people say it’s the right thing although most of them say he shouldn’t do it in public. So now I am more confused, who says that men should be in charge of their wives what makes them superior.

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    • sydslytherin
      5 years ago

      The way you phrased your question made it sound like you were okay with the spankings before recently. So I said that he should only do it in private because I respect people’s lifestyle choices. But now that I hear that this isn’t something you want, it is wrong that it is happening to you. I would personally never be with a guy who thought that was okay

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        5 years ago

        It’s hard to explain, it’s like I know it’s not really right what he does, but I don’t have the physical strength to stop him. My husband was the first person in my life to really treat me right. I am what most people would consider damaged goods because of my past. So I always figured I was lucky to meet anyone who didn’t just want me so they could abuse me. His little outbursts and the spankings have always been so rare I just accepted that it is a part of who he is. Most things that have happened to me in my life have been far worse. I do know he does love me, we have been married 22 years and he has always showered me with love and attention. I haven’t exactly had any role models in my life to teach me what is or is not acceptable or normal behaviour so maybe he did need to teach me this and the spankings are just his way. Like I said I am just so confused about it all. Is it right that men should be in charge of their wives? He always says it is but we are all just people so why should one person be in charge of the other just because of what sex they were born? On the other hand because he has always taken charge of things he has made me feel safe all these years and once I got used to that feeling I never wanted to lose it. I think maybe that’s the worst bit. The way things have been more recently I am worried I am loosing that safe feeling, not because I think he would do anything really bad to me but what if I am starting to loose him. The spanking in the street was humiliating but it’s far from the worst thing that ever happened to me but that doesn’t mean I want it to become a regular behaviour. I don’t like being spanked but I can live with it. I don’t like doing the grocery shopping but I do it every week I just accept it as part of life. It’s the same as being spanked occasionally, not the greatest thing but I accept it as part of my life.

        Anyway sorry for my rambling and thank you for your comment. x

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  • Poopusher5000
    5 years ago

    I send ya 50 cents to call someone who cares

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  • kingofthebigToe
    5 years ago

    i see it as Submissive.

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  • Applecandie
    5 years ago

    Leave him immediately.
    And, people out there who are saying it is okay for him to do it in private, WTF is on your mind?
    He is clearly ABUSIVE and don't come up with the "it's a sexual thing" because clearly, if she doesn't like and she doesn't CONSENT to it and no sex follows up it is NOT sexual at all.
    Darling, please please leave him before some spanks become something more serious and dangerous.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      You don't have to have sec after for it to be sexual otherwise yes your points are good

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  • randypete
    5 years ago

    DO you have sex after?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      No never

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  • WhereIsMyMind
    5 years ago

    Any man who spanks his wife is only using her in order to fulfil a desire for control. This is pretty abusive behaviour to me. I've been an abuser myself (I didn't think I was one at the time, but it turns out my behaviour was extremely manipulative looking back) and abused. A need for control and thus blaming/punishing the other person for perceived faults are a big part of it from my experiences. I think maybe you and him should have a talk.

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    5 years ago

    Looks like you don't really care if you've been married to him for this long and did nothing.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Definitely sexual

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    No it’s not sexual at all. He is very attentive and caring towards me and we do have a great sex life. But when he feels I have stepped out of line he tells me off. If it’s bad enough or I don’t conform with his wishes that’s when he spanks me.

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    • Pussy_Destroyer_69
      5 years ago

      Maybe it's a sexual thing but he doesn't tell you.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        5 years ago

        Can’t see any way it’s sexual he only does it when he’s cross and it never leads to sexual activity.

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        • Pussy_Destroyer_69
          5 years ago

          You don't get It. I'm getting hard only by reading how he spanks you. Imagine doing It. You don't even need to penetrate or something like that.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            5 years ago

            But it’s not like he runs to the bathroom to relieve himself afterwards. It’s usually a case of he gets cross and speaks to me really sternly. Then he will usually tell me to remove my knickers or if he’s really mad he will pull my skirt up and has been known to literally rip them off me, I don’t like that as it does actually hurt, then he will spank me 4 or 5 times, I have to apologies and then, if I can, make things right again. He will generally calm down then and life goes on.

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            • Pussy_Destroyer_69
              5 years ago

              That sounds hot as fuck. Just a dominance Game. That could be why you have a great sexual live.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Such an obvious troll post

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      I hope it is, but...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I’m not a troll, I’m asking this because I feel it’s not really right. He has treated me this way for years but it’s always been something that might happen maybe 1 or 2 times in a year. It’s never really hurt me except when a couple of times he has been really mad and actually ripped my knickers off my body and spanked me quite hard. But it’s always a humiliating experience for me, but I always just put up with it. The first time he ever did it I had accidentally got one of his white shirts in the washing with some coloured stuff. Something ran and ruined his shirt he got mad and told me to take off my knickers, he was shouting I asked why and he shouted some more. I was scared so I did what he said. Then he grabbed me and pulled me across his lap and spanked me quite hard. It didn’t hurt so much, I had had worse from my father growing up. But I thought as an adult this shouldn’t happen. I wanted to leave him, but we had only recently been married, and I had nowhere to go. He told me after he didn’t like to do that but I should take more care of things. That was 22 years ago and still he treats me this way, but never in front of anyone. He always says it’s a mans job to keep a wife in order, but it’s not for public display. When the children were home he would say get upstairs we need to talk, and I would know what was going to happen. If we were on our own he would just do it in any room. But lately he’s been more bad tempered and done it more often. It’s still not really painful but then the other day for the first time ever he did it in public. It was a nice day and I wanted us to go out for a walk, while we were out he dropped his phone and cracked the screen. He said it was my fault for wanting to go for a walk, he shouted and told me to take my knickers off. I told him I can’t do that here and it’s not my fault you dropped your phone. He shouts and says do I want him to take them off. I could see he was getting mad so I just did it. I was wearing a fairly short skirt and he just bent me over so it rode up, pulled it up a bit more and starts spanking me. Then he grabbed my knickers off me and threw them in a nearby bin and walked off leaving me sobbing. When he’s not doing this to me he’s lovely but I’m so confused I don’t know what to do. About a third of voters on here say it’s ok for him to do this in private, so maybe it is the right thing. I thought maybe everyone would say he shouldn’t do it and I would know it’s wrong. But now I’m more confused and I don’t know what I should do.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        It's completely wrong! My ex was yelling at me, and I tried to walk away from him so he went after me, grabbed me and dragged me down the street. The first thing I did after that experience was to call the police! They arrested him, and I left him while he was in jail.

        I honestly think you should have left him the very first time he assaulted you. You probably should have called the police too. I personally think the reason you have put up with that bullshit for so long is because your father abused you when you were young.

        My dad was, and still is, kinda like my best friend. My father has never abused me, thinks that women and men are pretty equal, is ex-Special Forces and has two degrees so basically I can't even begin to imagine thinking some random dude like your piece-of-shit husband would ever have the right to raise a hand against me. My father has never been violent towards my mother, in fact he taught me that guys who hit women aren't real men, they are just bitches! I have done more than my fair share of dating, and I've never had an abusive partner until this last ex. I think you are a product of your early environment in this case, and to tell you the truth it makes me very sad.

        Only you know if you should leave him, but I couldn't put up with his behavior even one time. As far as I'm concerned guys like that are human piles of shit.

        Are you still with his shitty ass, because you're afraid of being alone? I think you're doing yourself a disservice by staying with this guy.

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