Is it normal my husband has the traits of narcissistic personality disorder.

You married a jerk. You sound like the smart one in the relationship. Get your ducks in a row, talk to a lawyer, and get OUT before he destroys you. Good luck.

Something I did???? If I done something wrong I would be the first to put my hands up to it. This is my third child and his first and because I've already been there I let him do what he wanted to do with our son. I never took over. I just supported him and let him lap it all up the way he wanted to.

There's so much more to all this besides the one incident I listed.

So you are putting all the blame on me as why he done what he done. That in itself sounds narcissistic. Like I said if I done anything I would without a doubt put my hands up to it not see who I could get to take the blame.

I have been doing so much reading up on this and the more I'm reading the more I'm actually seeing. I also know we are all narcissistic to a degree bit this takes the biscuit.

Thank you for your comment ^

I feel for you I really do.

Why are we treated this way and more importantly why do we allow ourselves to put up with it. Lifes hard enough.

My heart goes out to you.

Xxxx

I know how you feel. My husband was diagnosed with NPD a couple years ago. When we met he was great. We liked the same things, had many similar interests, etc. However after about a year of marriage it all went away. Over that year I slowly found out that most of the things he told me of himself were lies. He twists the truth. He tells me things he knows I want to hear in order to get what he wants, and once he gets what he wants he has no intention of going through with what he promised. Nothing is ever his fault. Once he called me while he was driving to work and he made a wrong turn and yelled at me for 5 minutes that it was my fault. We have been married for about 5 years now and it is only getting worse. He thinks he is better than EVERYONE. He only thinks of himself and being successful. If I try to tell him how i feel about something he simply tells me he doesn't care. If I try having a conversation with him and he doesn't feel like talking he blatantly ignores me. He must have things done his way. A couple of months ago he typed up a "contract" for how he wants our 17mo son's day to go. He wanted me to make him sit in front of the tv 4 hours every day to watch educational videos. His doctor has already advised against it, obviously. Anyways, when i told him no he grabbed me by the arm pulled me over to the paper and forced me to sign it. And when my penmanship wasn't neat enough for him he printed another out and made me sign it until it met his expectations. This was the first time he has ever laid a hand on me. And I'm sure it is only the beginning. So, I am now in a position where I need to decide what will be best for my son. Anyways, I hope everything works out for you. You're not alone.

I've been there. It's hard to leave but if you're strong you can do it. If you stick around it will only get worse. You didn't fall for him you fell for who you thought he was. And he's not that person and he'll never be. Maybe you should read about Buddhism it helped me a lot :)

Like I said I am sorry for my outburst. It's just he blames me for everything that he seems to do wrong not himself. As individuals we are responsible for our own actions and except when we are wrong rather than trying to blame others.

Looking at it I have in a sense mothered him. He is 14 years younger than I am and maybe that's why he likes older women because of the maturity and nurturing that we provide. Maybe he lacked that in his childhood although he says he didn't. Without being disrespectful his mum was an alcoholic and his father seperated from her after he found out she had cheated on him. He lost his mum just over a year ago at the age of 51 but has not really shown very much towards the loss. I know people grieve differently but he seems to just get over things and has said he will freak if anything happened to his dad so just perhaps his dad may have been the one who provided the love. I really don't know. His not really a talker. Having said all this it does seem something is amiss and hearing stories from before we even met his behaviour is very narcisstic. He grew up around alcohol and has the mindset that it's normal to always want to drink only he doesn't know when to stop and plays up. He has told me he won't drink again since his last outburst in December where the bedroom got turned upside down. There have been 15 incidences during our relationship. All he keeps going on about is he wants a beer. He did have a can the other day and I was furious because I have said after he said he wasn't drinking no more that I'm not putting up with it anymore as I have a baby and two other children to lookout for. This does not in my opinion excuse his spoilt brat behaviour and I don't feel it's his age either. I feel it goes alot deeper than that but he doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with him. He has read some articles on narcissism since I discovered it and he laughed as he was reading it and said cool that's me, that's me. I have NPD sounds good. I'm quite proud of that. What does that say and no he wasn't being sarcastic either. I'm just so confused at the moment and want some resolve to all this one way or another. Again I am really sorry for my outburst in my first comment. I do very much appreciate peoples views although it's hard to really comment too much without knowing the situation first hand.

Yeah, that was very, very defensive. As an outsider who know little to none of your story, i was asking to to confirm that you've reflected on yourself to see if you have done any wrong (not in your mind, but HIS), I was far from blatantly accusing you.
Having read your response and the post after it, I'd say that they're right: you've likely given too much up. Men who are constantly looked after tend to accept it very readily and live by it, they fall into routine. You (or an outside influence) have created a stir, now causing a tantrum in a 'spoiled child', maybe give him some independence. Otherwise, I can only suggest professional help, as it seems to be a very complex matter.

Sorry if my comment came across defensive that was not my intention.

Wow...defensive much? Their post was positive and helpful. We ALL do wrong and no one is 100% perfect in a relationship. For one, you let him act how he wanted. It's like raising a child...spoil it and you've got a little Satan spawn on your hands. It works the same way in relationships. My mother complains that my father does nothing around the house but for 30-odd years she has waited on him hand and foot. What does she expect. He is wrong for taking advantage but she is wrong for creating the situation and for keeping this going for so long.
I agree it's shit that he was contacting women though. It's something I wouldn't stand for. If you chose to stay in that relationship though...then that's your burden to carry. You both have issues. If he doesn't find your relationship important enough to work at it/save it...then you need to decide your next move. Stay and get over it or refuse to accept his behavior and move on.

I know you say you're giving everything he needs, but have you thought about that?
This change could be caused by many things: your new child, new lifestyle and a new you. Perhaps he was the knight in shining armour, because the two of you has each other?
If he won't see a doctor, you can go, talk it out, maybe invite one round to your place.
I suspect he's unhappy about something and either isn't telling you, or you haven't picked up on it.
Try not to get too worked up, or take it personally: it's probably started with something you did, but now it'll be just a chain of sourceless anger.
You can solve this. :)