Is it normal my grandma upset me doing this?

I am a Christian Quaker and my grandmother is a Southern Baptist. I am the only Quaker in my family as I came to the faith on my own as an adult. One part of the Quaker faith many still practice is teetotalism. Many people in my family struggled with addiction including alcoholism. I do not allow that substance into my house. My fiance, who is agnostic, has enough respect for me to drink outside if he happens to want a beer every so often. He's not a big drinker anyway.

My grandmother has been an alcoholic my entire life. In the past half decade she has become born-again and became a Southern Baptist. We debated religion quite a bit. It's actually interesting, the non-Christians in my family seem a lot more open to my faith than the other Christians because my faith varies slightly from theirs (I actually offended them by saying Christ's teachings matter to me, His death was a horrific tragedy, but He did not have to resurrect to prove Himself to me. In short, his teachings were more important to me and proved He was God's son and messenger to me that way rather than His horrific torture and death. I got crap for that.)

My grandma actually shouted at me, "Do you believe in the Resurrection? Do you believe in the Resurrection?" Over and over again in an argument, then said I was "Not a Christian." I was incredibly upset.

But not as upset as I was when I learned she was sneaking alcohol into my house. My grandma ended up with a blood alcohol of .27 and started seizing because she has epilepsy and can't drink on her meds.

After she sobered up she didn't know I had the discharge papers. I asked her if she had brought alcohol into my home (she's living with me after destroying every other family tie with her alcoholism, I'm her youngest adult grandchild). She outright lied to me and tried to pull the sweet grandma, "I would never do that to you." Then how does ethanol get into your system?

I told her I knew and she disrespected my household and my faith when she brought liquor into my home and lied to my face. My fiance found the almost empty bottle of vodka regardless. When I mentioned my faith she rolled her eyes at me and and muttered something under her breath and it made me so angry I slammed my purse down in a loud bang.

How dare she try and tell me I am not a Christian because I do not believe the same way she does, then disrespect me and the Lord so much with that sort of behavior. I had to dress her, help her use the bathroom, and keep her in my bed that night where she kept kicking me in the back because she kept rolling out of her bed and hitting her head. I was literally using my body as a crib.

So an apparent "recovered" alcoholic brought liquor into my dry home, disrespected my faith with a superiority complex, and injured me. Then had the audacity to try and manipulate me and roll her eyes at me and talk crap when she realized I'm not as dumb as she thinks I am.

Is this normal behavior? I want her to get clean. But I can't have someone who behaves like that having a superiority complex over me and disrespecting my home.

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100% Normal
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Comments ( 4 )
  • darefu

    Normal for an alcoholic, yes
    They care about nothing except that next drink not any different than a drug addict.
    Religion has little to do with it. However, she is disrespectful of her own religion by being an alcoholic and so judgemental( but the alcohol may be the cause of that). I've know some Midwest USA Quakers and Mennonites and yes, they have their differences from other Christians but normally have seemed to get along well and treat each other with respect.

    So, I don't think it's the religion, it's the alcohol or she is just a mean and rotten person. Now you know how she has burned her bridges with other family members. If you can hang in there and get her off the alcohol you may find a different person inside her. It's a long process.

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  • litelander8

    I’ll start by warning you about this site. You will most likely be absolutely appalled, as we’re all creeps.

    .27 is impressive. She shouldn’t have disrespected your home. But to be fair, she would’ve drank regardless and would’ve possibly been home alone with no one to help her.

    At this point, I’d say she’s way too old to change her ways. She’s too old to be respectful of others beliefs.

    I’d say, you don’t have to forgive her. But if she has no one else to care for her, will you feel guilty when she passes? At this point she’s not gonna change. But you can decide to look past it or not.

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  • Umm...yeah. I love her. I genuinely do. It's hard. When she's good, she's the grandma that bakes all the cookies and makes fudge and cooks entire meals and loves having the entire family around.

    But she's been an alcoholic since her early 20s. She doesn't realize how much her family loves her. She just gets drunk and cries about the people who have been dead for half a century who hurt her a long time ago.

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  • Holy cow that's a lot longer than I realized it would be. Well I hope y'all like a novel.

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