Is it normal my friend isn't pursing anything?

47% Normal

So I met an awesome person at work & we got along terrifically once we got to know each other there. About 2 weeks later after she quit work I offered her to hang out, she said sure. She came over and stayed hours. We had tons of laughs and I feel she thoroughly enjoyed herself, other wise why stay that long right!? Few days later I asked her if she's busy on Thurs, she said she had an appt in arvo but didn't ask why...I tried again in a direct way this time & asked if she wanted to do something on the weekend and she said sure so long as she's better (as she had the flu). Day comes and she asks if it can be another time. I know that one time I asked would you wanna hang out again and she said yea for sure! I feel like she keeps putting me off! Did I do something wrong. Its been two months, I talk to her often but she never initiates convo or asks to do something , I'm really guttered!

Voting Results

47% Normal

Based on 15 votes (7 yes)

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Comments ( 15 )

RoseIsabella

8 years ago

Forget about her for now.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  So you're saying- she never liked me to begin with? :/
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    8 years ago
    
    I dunno.
    
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victorygin

8 years ago

If you're the only one initiating conversation or asking to hang out, the relationship/friendship is too one-sided. Don't put up with being in that position. It's better to let things cool for a while than to be the only one initiating contact.

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- INV8
  
  8 years ago
  
  You didint fuck her good enough... shes gonna give you another chance with out notice when she wants to sport marathon fuck. Good luck...
  
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jethro

8 years ago

The first time you hung out, she expected some activity from you and it didn't happen. That is why she hung out so long. She just gave up because you didn't do anything but hang out. She is holding you in reserve in case her first set of plans falls through you will be the backup. That is why she always has an excuse at the last minute. I would say just ask her if she wants to be a friend with benefits as I think that is what she wants. If she doesn't then keep her as an acquaintance and look to be friends with someone else.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  What do you mean she expected some sort of activity from me? Before she came over, I offered plenty of options/ activities of things we could do, I even gave her the option of completely scrubbing mine and doing what she wants. She chose that she really wanted to come over. She could easily have left sooner as well if I was a bore...I personally know for a fact she was sick that time as I could clearly hear it in her voice through the phone so that wasn't an excuse..?
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  How do you mean- she expected some sort of activity from me? Before she came over I gave her various options to choose from including going out (which we did) and I even gave her the option of canning my ideas and doing what she wants. She said she wanted to come over to mine ....
  She actually was sick for real as I spoke to her on the phone & it was clear she was sick.
  
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jethro

8 years ago

Well believe what you wish. She expected you to make a move on her romantically, if you will, In stead you offered her activities that you would have for a sister or the like. She was interested in getting physical and nothing happened. As far as "hearing" it in her voice that she was not feeling well, have you never heard of acting? On the first visit, she gave you a test. You didn't completely fail it and that is why she still "makes plans with you" but never carries them out. If she plans something with someone else and those plans fall through, she still has you to fall back on. You have become the back up plan. I would just ask her to be your friend with benefits and leave it at that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Hello?
  
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  - jethro
    
    8 years ago
    
    What? You didn't like my answer and I am not going to try to convince you otherwise. It seems that I am the only one who wants to even try so you are going to have to get the answer you seek elsewhere.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      Your answer is irrelevant and misinterpreted considering your assumption of her wanting a friends with "benefits" relationship.
      Also your wrong about her- she actually wanted to hang out the other day and we did.
      
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      - jethro
        
        8 years ago
        
        Good for you.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  She was sick- I know that for a fact . I actually asked her if she was smoking because she sounded like she was but then she went on and said she's sick. Few days later I said "if you're better , would u wanna do something" she said for sure so long as I'm feeling better. Therefore it wasn't pre- planned act on her behalf because I asked her after I knew she was sick.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Firstly what's with friends with benefits? I am a straight girl trying to establish a good friendship. Also aren't some people just shy? Took her a while when we were at work for her to be herself, she never even smiled to begin with.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal my friend isn't pursing anything?