Is it normal my friend is jealous of me?

48% Normal
9 Comments

Last winter I met a girl who was homeless. I did like her at first and decided to help her straighten out her life. We would go sing karaoke together and hangout a lot.

About a month into knowing her I went to Florida for a week to visit my Grandma and I let her borrow my car and a guitar while I was on vacation so she could find a home and a job. While borrowing my car she left it unlocked and all her stuff as well as the guitar I let her borrow was stolen.
Because of this I lost my interest in her because of her failure to make good choices and be reliable.

Anyway soon later she hooked up with one of my friends who I have known since pre-school (about 25 years). She moved in with him and got a job with him.

I really didn't care that she hooked up with my friend because I had already lost my interest in her that way, but I did still like hanging out with her and was even going to have her play guitar for my band at one point.

My friend became extremely jealous of my friendship with the girl and forbid her to hangout with me. He wouldn't let her listen to a cd we made of us singing karaoke songs and told her he didn't want her in my band or over at my house.

It got worse from there. He doesn't even want to talk to me anymore either. He has blocked my number and ignores me. I have heard from mutual friends he is still jealous of me.

The girl has since then contacted me a couple of times wanting rides and even moved out from his house one time only to go back the next day. She tells me to not talk to him about this issue and not tell him I saw her, which I think is ridiculous because I'm not somebody who sneaks around or avoids conflict. If I have issues with someone they better talk to me about it.

Anyway I have completely lost respect for both of them by now. Him for being so insecure and jealous, and her for putting up with this behavior. I no longer have any interest in contacting them until they contact me and cannot believe how stupid the whole situation is.

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 31 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    These things seem to work themselves out if you distance yourself. She doesn't seem worth it and he's already ignoring you. They're making it easy already. At least nobody is stalking you.

    You got this.

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  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago

    Is it possible she's been creating that feeling of jealousy (or anger) in him? Some women do that because it boosts their ego, even though it's completely fucked up. It's highly suspicious that your life-long friend would change his mind about you over this without a little coaching from her... you know what I mean?

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      He definitely is jealous of me. There's no other explaination for his ridiculous behavior.

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      • (.)(.)boobies
        9 years ago

        Have you known him to act jealous over women in the past? How typical is this sort of behaviour for him?

        Anyway, I'm not doubting that he's jealous. What I was asking is, if it is possible she has been exacerbating those feelings in him towards you?

        Some girls seriously get off on their boyfriends acting jealous. Particularly when it makes their boyfriend chose between his best-friend and them. It's the ultimate power-trip for a chick with low self-esteem. Of course she doesn't want you to talk to him because she doesn't want you to find out the truth.

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        • (.)(.)boobies
          9 years ago

          Oh, and how do you feel about the whole thing, knowing that he's jealous? Are you willing to forgive him for it when he eventually gets over it?

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          • [Old Memory]
            9 years ago

            I feel annoyed by the whole thing and while I can get over these things easily I always look at people a bit differently afterwards.

            Even if she is manipulating him into thinking we have some sort of thing together he should have talked to me about it instead of being weird. I'm definitely going to confront him about it next time I see him.

            Yet another reason I hate the concept of relationships and am judgmental of peoples insecurities.

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            • (.)(.)boobies
              9 years ago

              I hope everything works out when you talk to him about it. It would be a shame to lose a friendship over a misunderstanding like this.

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  • clevelandashkenaziatheist
    9 years ago

    "Because of this I lost my interest in her because of her failure to make good choices and be reliable." She is homeless. You lost interest in helping someone because she made a mistake? No one would be helped if that was the standard. She lived in a much different world than you. Be mindful of that. That may contribute to why she puts up with him, she gets to have a place to stay. I doubt there's actual jealousy involved with him. That's just a word we use in this country to signify dislike.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I still helped her after that but I lost interest in her as far as somebody I could live with or have any kind of relationship beyond regular friends. I basically friend-zoned her.

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