Is it normal my fiance is just downright mean most of the time.

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OK I'll try to sum this up as best as possible. He and I are gamers. I love Pokemon and The Legend of Zelda the most out of any game series(though there are others I like too just not as much.)He likes a vereity of games and most of the time, rags on me because I'm 'not open minded'. So much so that he banned me from watching things I like on the internet until I played games that he likes that I, quite frankly, despise.

Not to mention he took alot of my internet time in general away from me. He says I can use it but then later asks the question which is I REALLY hate to be asked 'what are you doing?!' The only reason Im on now is because he's resting in the room, and I'm on my 3DS.

Something that also bothers me, not that this is a normal relationship issue but, he's losing interest in games I like the most. I can't tell you how many times he rages and 'Oh my fucking god! This game sucks! HAX!!' or 'I'm quiting this game...' It really sucks 'cause I like Pokemon alot. Words can't describe how much I like it. And for him to lose interest in it is making me feel like its a lost part of me....

My fiance is disabled with Wilson's Disease. Plus he didn't really have a 'good' childhood;he was molested, so to vent his feeling and self conciousness, he looks at hentai/porn daily. I don't care if he looks at it at all, but he makes comments. And hearing him saying 'Awwww, thats so cute. :3' Is annoying because he's normally looking at an underaged, small–boobed girl getting gangbanged and there's jizz all over the place... I wouldn't mind that if it was just a little girl standing there with a smile on her face or like 5 of 'em playing in a pool; thats fine.

Hell, even I have my quirks, I kind like furrys in a way. But 'real' porn just bothers me entirely for some reason.

Alot of the time when he's playing a game he asks me CONSTANTLY if I think some chick's boobs are cute. He gets offended if I just kinda humor him saying 'yeah they are...'. Usually that causes name calling.

Yeah and on that subject, he just says random curse words to piss me off. In a sing–songie way 'slut, whore, tramp, cuuuunt♪'.

That and another thing he does to piss me off is just either sneezes directly on me or wipe his snot/ball sweat on me. Then if I 'whine' He either says 'SHUT UP! Don't you start' or he starts pounding me on my back.

Lastly, the part that most bugs me, is he gets mad at me for everything... Yesterday was my birthday so I wanted to get pizza rolls and steak. He said don't bother, get hotdogs to save money.... ¯–¯ I didnt want hotdogs so I got what was cheapest of what I wanted. I only spent 6 dollars for a good meal. He was raging at me and then started to nitpick at what I bought.

Not only does he nitpick at times, he slaps me 90% of the time we bet in an argument.

An hour later, he tries to butter me up with pizzacause that my most favorite food.

I just need help knowing what to do. Please don't just say 'oh just leave him' 'cause I've tried. He pulled me straight back into the house.

I don't want to call the police due to him being disabled plus he told me, if I were to ever break up with him after these 4 years, he'd kill himself...

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Comments ( 15 )
  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    I'm not trying to be rude but you need to stop making excuses for him. He's abusing you and you should leave him. If he's looking at underage porn and you know this then you need to report him. He's a pedophile and you are no better than him if you let him continue this behaviour. Do you really want to have kids with this guy knowing full well what turns him on? Also, if he gets caught and you knew this you could be named an accessory. I have no sympathy for the either of you.

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  • DarkGoddess
    10 years ago

    ... We got into another fight again. I made dinner; hotdogs and mashed potatoes. I started eating and half way through, he made me do a mission for him on Ni no Kuni to find some pidgeons. That annoyed me because I wanted to finish eating but I did it any way. I found the first two no problem but then he started to yell at me because he wanted me to look in a specific spot, which I thought I was but I was apparently off... by like an inch. -_- He then grabbed my arm, pulled the controller outta my hand and beat my back twice...

    Later he tried to 'make up' by giving me some of his mashed potatoes and even made a plane sound. However, the tators had hot sauce in em, and I hate spicy things. So I refused to eat em. He through his bowl and spoon down and the tators went flying on top the side of the computer and Sega Saturn ROM controller.

    I was so pissed that I went out of the door. Managed to get to the front of the drive way until he dragged me back into the house.

    Its a little hard to tell anyone about this if I can't leave my house right after the fight happened.

    I just hope one of my neighbors heard him say 'GET THE FUCK BACK IN THE HOUSE!'

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  • ObsessedWithReedus
    10 years ago

    I don't realy know what to say, because all the good advice I have has already been said by hasty. I think you should take her/his advice. Lay down some common ground rules.

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    • DarkGoddess
      10 years ago

      Well, as I told them, me making some rules won't work because I've already tried. :/

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      • ObsessedWithReedus
        10 years ago

        Well then I'm sorry but I don't know what to tell you. It would be easier if I knew you in real life and better knew your situation.

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  • hasty
    10 years ago

    Well then. Personally, it sounds like he has anger and control issues. Badly. He should not be hitting you or intentionally sneezing on you to make you upset. That's very deviant and twisted. If you keep letting him treat you like this, it might lead to even worse abuse.

    You need to be frank with him and tell him that it's not okay to be treated that way. You need to be stern and just tell him to 'please stop'.

    I'm not saying that you should dump him. Maybe he really does love you deep down, and he takes his anger out on you / makes you feel bad because its a facet of some underlying issue of his. That underlying issue is the problem. But you need to let him know that doing all that stuff to you is not fine, and if YOU don't love him back, then you will only be hurting yourself in the long run.

    You guys should try and do more stuff outside the house. I'm saying this because it will bring you two closer together.

    I feel like what I tell you is going to weigh heavily in your decision (whatever that might be) because nobody else has said anything, so I want to say that you need to do what you feel is right. Go with your gut.

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    • DarkGoddess
      10 years ago

      And we would go for walks but Florida weather is just bad during the summer. Its either too hot or too rainy.

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    • DarkGoddess
      10 years ago

      I tell him to stop but he takes that as whining. and he blaims his anger on his genes because his parents both have short fuses.

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    sorry look I'm lazy I just couldn't read all that so I'll just go with normal

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    • DarkGoddess
      10 years ago

      Not to be mean, but thats not very helpful... -o-;

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      • DangerousPotatoGuy
        10 years ago

        yeah I know, I just read through your story, its quite touching have you tried looking for help from someone close or maybe professional help? after having a bad childhood he should have been seeing a therapist (if he wasn't that is)

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        • DarkGoddess
          10 years ago

          He told me that he talked with his school counselor once (male mind you) and after the session, he was in tears and didn't know what to tell him...

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          • DangerousPotatoGuy
            10 years ago

            I see, but what really matters now is that he needs to know how you feel about the way he treats you. If he says you're whining it means someone else needs to let him know

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            • DarkGoddess
              10 years ago

              Well if we get into another fight again, I'll tell his mom I guess. She told me if he ever hits me to let her know, its just... how do I go about telling someone about something that happened in an arguement after everything's cooled down? I'd feel like an ass and he'd think I don't let go of things :s

              I don't really want to be a 'tattle tale'.

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        • DarkGoddess
          10 years ago

          His mom lives with his stepdad on the next street and as far as therapy, he already went through all that even before I moved in with him. I doubt seeing another one would help.

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