Is it normal my ex boyfriend asks to go on vacation with him and his friends

54% Normal
7 Comments

My ex boyfriend and I broke up mutually because he would be away in med school in Michigan while I would remain in Ohio and neither of us thought it was a good idea staying together.

We have remained good friends still and actually were before we started dating so it's not too much of a change I guess.

However the problem is that even though we've kept in touch, I started to not visit him in Michigan in about past 8 months, where as I used to be up almost every month taking care of things for my sister who also goes to undergrad at the same school. Plus, I also got a full time job now which demands a lot out of me.

So actually now that I think about it he came to town several times during the past 8 months that I was not up there and visited our mutual college friends and also me and we'd catch up on stuff about how life is and what we've been up to.

Past weekend he was in town and while we were talking, he randomly decided to ask me to go on vacation in Hawaii with him and his med school friends.

My question is that is that with all history aside, is it even normal for a guy friend to consider asking a good girl friend, who also happens to be his ex, to come with him and his friends to a vacation spot?

Or is there something else I should consider?

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 26 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • iGetDizzy
    12 years ago

    I voted yes its normal. That being said, you now need to make the decision that do you wanna go on vacation with a friend, who happens to be your ex. I understand that the breakup was mutual and I respect that because you don't get a lot of that. He may just consider you that much of a good friend to wanna go on vacation with you. Now let's say you go with him, yous won't be alone because of his med friends so there may be less of a change for intimacy. So it could just be your average vacation in hawaii.

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    • Lajra
      12 years ago

      Yeah I did think about it that way actually. It might have been an entirely different story if he was just asking me to go with him.

      I know when he asked me, he had expressed interest in also funding the trip to some degree, as he knows it was very last minute asking (trip is in May and the med kids decided this kind of last minute). But I promised myself I would only go if I could try and make it on my own...which I am.

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  • Sidekickz
    12 years ago

    how many guys and only one girl?
    i think i know what he wants to do on vacation
    i.y.k.w.i.m.

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  • CheyChey
    12 years ago

    it's normal because if two people get along ex's or not then a trip is great HOWEVER if ex's hangout most of time & you're friends being all friendly and you're "cool" one tends to forget the reasons why you broke up in the first place & get caught up in this we get along so much thing till you're like hey wanna get back together & you do & you end up getting hurt. the saying "we can't be friends if we can't be lovers" is true to some extent. just be careful

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    • Lajra
      12 years ago

      Well, we mainly broke up over two things, we both thought the distance thing is just a "no". And then also I knew even getting into relationship that there was a possibility that I would not be the 'end result' and nor would he be my final guy as we come from very different backgrounds, but the feelings were strong enough back then to at least try for the time being.

      But then when college finished up and I was in interview stages for my dream job and he was accepted to his dream med school we both decided, it's probably for the best anyway that we stop dating. So that was that. Both of us didn't try to like get each other back or anything silly as the grounds for breaking up was a bit more unusual than normal peoples' I guess.

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  • MikuLikesYou
    12 years ago

    If you guys are friends still, of course it's normal. Friends enjoy spending time with friends, and if you guys are mature enough to look pas the whole "ex" thing (which it appears you are) I think that it'd be a great idea to just go and have some fun. He'll have friends there so it's not like he's inviting you for some one on one time.

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    • Lajra
      12 years ago

      Yeah, I thought about that too. I don't think he ever has any intention of trying anything (he's always been a gentleman) and also when we broke up we kind of knew we would never get back together and I lived my life for past two years based on that.

      To be honest, I don't think it will ever change. So, I never had to worry about it but some of my friends said maybe he was rethinking his decision or something OR the fact that he just missed me because I didn't talk to him much or come up in the past 8 months and I'm one of the few persons he is close to in the US as we both went to college together and he is by himself here.

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