Is it normal my boyfriend's dad freaks me out

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14 Comments

So I have been with my bf for a little while now. We lived with his dad for awhile (paying rent also) but eventually ended up moving out because I'm not comfortable around him at all. He's very moody it seems and sometimes is fairly nice to me but other times, he couldn't be more indifferent about me as a person and we just don't have a relationship really. Sometimes he has a very harsh temper and one time it caused me to leave him a horrible note because one time he told my bf that he felt awkward around me and felt like a stranger was in his house and I heard him talking about me and sounding very angry. Instead of confronting him and talking to him about it, I left him a note (I was angry) and stating that I would move out if he wanted. This was the wrong thing to do I know but I can't change it now. He has done other things that caused me to want to avoid him such as eating my food whenever he pleased/using my laundry soap without asking and coming into our space downstairs often without asking/turning off led Christmas lights EVERYTIME i left the house/ having very loud sex with his gf when I am there alone. (Creeped me out and I left) I just don't understand him. He seems very cold. Last time I saw him. I didn't say hi right away and when he actually did say hi to me, it was very irritated-like like I should have been the one to say it. I don't know how I can fix this or if I can. Advice please? I love my bf. I can't understand his father. I avoid him and it shouldn't be this way.

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55% Normal
Based on 20 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    OK I can explain this.

    This father actually reminds me of my own, so I pretty sure I understand the problem.
    This is exactly the way he sees things.

    The problem is it's his house and he does not see you as belonging there. He tolerates it because your dating his son, but that's about it. You described him as being indifferent that's because he is, he doesn't hate you but you're no one special to him either, your expecting a bond where he doesn't.

    He goes into your space, eats your food, and uses your detergent because it's his house so he sees no issue, and the loud sex again his house he'll do what he wants.

    You see yourself as having a voice because you pay rent whic is fair but he likely doesn't see it that way most likely because he doesn't care about the rent, he sees it as his house and you as a guest. Everything in the house is his so when you get upset it irritates him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I feel like yes it is his house but it is a bit rude for him to help himself to my foods and soap and whatever else he wants without even asking. Once in awhile I wouldn't mind but he literally doesn't buy his own soap and just uses mine until it's gone and then he decides maybe he will buy his own. (Same with shampoos or whatever else he would like to nab from my bathroom) Also the loud sex part I find extremely rude as his bedroom is directly above mine. I know for a fact that my parents would never do this to my bf if he was staying with them. Maybe it would be different if I didn't have to actually live in the house and be around him all the time or if the floor levels were separate but idk to me it's just kind of a lack of consideration.

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  • peterrabbyt69
    7 years ago

    You should suck him off yourself and see how loud he gets.
    You know you want to...

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  • Rodmino
    7 years ago

    the father is very important thing to everyone even if he horrible my advice to you if you want to go with this relation to separate your relation with him and to meet him only on holidays move out please cause one day you going to heat your boyfriend and start to think weird thoughts i don't know why in the first place you are staying with him no one stays with the boyfriend family its like a rule

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    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      Heat her boyfriend?

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      • Rodmino
        7 years ago

        Sorry typing mistake i meant hate her boyfriend

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  • Jackinsanta
    6 years ago

    He is probably bipolar

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  • sandnigga
    7 years ago

    Well I mean it is HIS house. He can have sex as loud as he wants lol

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Loud sex would be a bit better timed before I got home from work instead of at the dead silent hour between laying down and nodding off. or like turn on some music or the tv??? I have tried this but they really do just get louder. It's like ew wtf. She sounds like she's giving birth, not having an organism.

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      • Ellenna
        7 years ago

        Ha ha, having an organism during sex, that would in fact be like giving birth!

        It's his house, he and his partner can have sex as loudly as they like. If you don't want him to use up your bathroom products, don't leave them in the bathroom.

        I assume you are contributing financially to household shopping? If not, you're a freeloader and maybe he's just trying to get rid of you out of his house.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          If you think that having an organism is like giving birth, maybe you should try getting knocked up and see how that goes for ya. Also I don't use any of his things so that doesn't make me the free loader. I wash my clothes elsewhere and pay for other necessities. It seems you may be defending someone who acts like this towards others. Maybe yourself? The bathroom is also not his personal bathroom. He has his own upstairs so it's just bizarre that he wants to come downstairs into my space...yes he probably does want me to not live there. That's probably about the only thing you hit on the nail. Thanks for the input.

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          • Ellenna
            7 years ago

            Where's your sense of humour? You're calling orgasms organisms for goodness' sake!

            I can assure you I don't act like this because I live alone, nor have I acted like that in any shared houses I've lived in and I wasn't defending anyone, merely trying to point out possible reasons for his behavior.

            I think he wants you out. You didn't answer my question about whether you're contributing financially to the household expenses.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              7 years ago

              Yes i did. You can re-read my response and the post if you'd like lol

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