Is it normal my boyfriend is obsessed with trying to impress his father

64% Normal
4 Comments

It's the absolute saddest thing. My boyfriend has done really well for himself, he's studying for his masters right now, and his piece of shit dad has never been there. Never showed up for any graduation or birthday, rarely showed up on a holiday, just absolute garbage. Yet my bf tries so damn hard to please this awful man. He lends him money anytime he asks, just to feed his alcoholism, and tries to tell him about every achievement or good thing in his life. When I use my bf's phone I always check his text messages with his dad, he sends him pictures of us, anytime he's in the news or is getting recognition for sports, he sends him his grades, everything my boyfriend could be proud of he sends to his father. And. Gets. No. Replies. Yet he still tries.

I've put up with this for about two years now, and I finally can't take it anymore. It disgusts me how anyone could treat him that way, he's such a good guy. We saw his dad a week ago, they both got drunk and his dad swung at him and my boyfriend just took it. Then he swung again, and again, and again, till my bf just collapsed. He didn't even try to fight back. I don't know what to do, I pepper sprayed him and haven't talked to or seen him since. Why is he so hung up on making this shit bag proud?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • ZaneT
    7 years ago

    Its human nature to crave our parents love. This often manifests the most when the parent doesn't reciprocate the love in return. It hurts deeply to discover that one of or both your parents does not love you. The alternative to this realization is for the child to keep trying to win their parent's love or approval than face the truth. Those of us who perhaps come from loving homes often find these situations hard to understand. Ultimately sometimes the adult child has to face the hard truth and realize they have done all they can, and maybe they should cut ties completely. You can still love your parent in this situation from a distance. Hate will ultimately only hurt you.

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  • Whatsnormaltho
    7 years ago

    There is obviously a deeply rooted psychological process going on where his needs as a child were never met and he hasn't healed. its also related to addiction. My father is an alcoholic but he is one of my favorite people...when he is sober. Because I care about him so much it pains me to see him struggle with the consequences of his alcoholism. I will always have his back, can't explain it but its how I feel.

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  • MR.mr
    7 years ago

    sons love their fathers no matter what

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  • Adopt-a-thot
    7 years ago

    It's a pain deep inside him, and a part of him is still a little boy wanting his father to hug him and say "I love you, son." Now I'm sad.

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