Is it normal men seem to misinterpret me being nice as invitation for sex

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28 Comments

I work in customer service and part of my job is keeping good relationships with both customers and coworkers. I smile a lot, I chat with people, I make a lot of eye contact, I do small talk. And there are always men that come to believe I want something with them, despite the fact that I got married 6 months ago and they know it. I'm just doing my job and trying to be nice to people, but I get reactions like accusations that I send mixed signals, and people go as far as groping me. I'm so sick and tired of this, and in danger of turning into a cold bitch just to stop anyone from misinterpreting me ever again.

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90% Normal
Based on 31 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • snarkygirl
    8 years ago | pl

    Yes if were nice, were teasing, if were not friendly were mean bitches. It sucks being a cute chick sometimes.

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    • Fresh
      8 years ago

      oh yeah you are so cute *cough* not

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      • snarkygirl
        8 years ago

        You wish you knew doncha?

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      Doesn't just happen to women. I've had peoples tongues down my throat simply for being nice and getting on well with some women, had people assume I want to fuck them because I've been nice to them and hoping they were ok when something's happened, etc, etc.

      Don't get me wrong sometimes it has been other guys that get the wrong impression too but I literally have to tell someone, "I don't want to give you the wrong impression" if I talk to them for a long enough period of time just to avoid it happening again. Lol.

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      • snarkygirl
        8 years ago

        Yes im too nice, its a curse ( except on here I'm a snarky bitch :)

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        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          Same. Haha. People confuse being nice with being flirty...It's actually kind of sad when you think about it. Haha.

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    That's not all men, just stupid men. A smart guy would know that you were just doing your job.

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    • andreth
      8 years ago

      True :-)

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  • bucho's_butt
    8 years ago

    Ok here's the thing..you need to re evaluate the way you interact with men. There are certain body language cues that will make people believe that you are telegraphing interest. It's all very instinctual. How long do you hold eye contact? Too much and it will trick a man's brain into thinking that you are interested. Do you mimic other people's body language? That's another one. How close do you stand to others?

    Just making small alterations to your body language and being aware of what you're doing will go a long way in solving your problem. What I got from this post is that it's really not the other men that are a problem, it's you. And you're aware of it, but you're not sure what you need to do to fix it. Read up on body language and try to assess if you are doing any of the things that create attraction.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Oh of course it would be the woman's creating the problem if men grope her, wouldn't it? What century are you living in?

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      • bucho's_butt
        8 years ago

        She seems very aware that she's sending mixed signals to men. How would it be the man's fault in this particular situation if he thinks she is showing signs of attraction because of the kind of body language she's exhibiting? Don't give me a bunch of retarded feminist bullshit either. I hate that crap.

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        • wigz
          8 years ago

          No, she seems aware that no matter what she does besides being outright rude gets misinterpreted as an invitation for a date/sex.

          It's quite common. Guys see what they want to see.A guy will think a girl purposely did any innocent act as indication that she wants him. General politeness included.

          It's an impossible game. You are either asking for it or you are a bitch/tease when neither of those things are true.

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        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          She's not aware of this or she wouldn't have asked the question.

          So men can't control whether not they grope a woman they THINK is showing certain signs? You have a much lower opinion of men than I do as a feminist. It doesn't matter what they think she's doing or not doing, they can still choose how to respond.

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          • bucho's_butt
            8 years ago

            Who knows what she considers groping. People embellish their stories. Maybe the guy just placed his hand on her shoulder. She's confused about the false signals she's giving men and she came on here to get advice. I think my advice is perfectly sound. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and really think about how you are interacting with others.

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            • Ellenna
              8 years ago

              And of course women embellish their stories and she's giving false signals. She's not confused about what she's doing but you are. Maybe you should take a step back and really think about your misogyny

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            • andreth
              8 years ago

              I consider groping any kind of physical contact without my consent, while done for the sexual pleasure of the groping party. Placing hand on shoulder can count as well if done with that intent...
              P.S. I had a manager where I work give me a friendly hug (I consedered him a friend then) and then he said "I hope it felt as nice to you as it did for me". It felt horrible.

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  • muh-fuh
    8 years ago

    Its in our nature
    Our mid brain takes over with a smile.
    We instantly travel many thousands of years back in time.
    There was no bouti

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    • snarkygirl
      8 years ago

      Is that a haiku?

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  • thegypsyfailedher
    8 years ago

    "in danger of turning into a cold bitch"

    No danger here, you're already one.

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    • andreth
      8 years ago

      woah, what was that for exactly?

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      • insanebotv21
        8 years ago

        He's he's what we call an "asshole".... You've probably heard of them by now.

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  • Lonely2
    8 years ago

    As a man , so few women act nice to me that it does get confusing when someone is...but usually I realize its there job can tell its there job...but because I know they only are doing it as part of their job that really pisses me off so you deserve what you get

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  • Dr_Remulak
    8 years ago

    Yeah you should just be a hard cold bitch like you said treat all those guys like their a bunch of fudge packers, I see a girl with a ring or I know is with someone I just don't waste my time on them those guys are creeps

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  • gloryholeflasher
    8 years ago

    You could put up a sign, hand written, so they know it's personal and from you;

    Customer Service!
    Being friendly and helpful is part of my job. It doesn't mean I'm looking for a date!

    Or, you could pretty much just grin and bear it as an occupational hazard. Every job has them. If a guy gets too personal (as in "hands on") slap his face. Guys should know better and the ones that don't yet should learn before they get any older.

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  • Goku19
    8 years ago

    Which job requires smiling ?

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