Is it normal if you know what they like and its not you?

75% Normal
6 Comments

I know I am a good match for this guy but I also know that he can/deserves better. Not that I'm a bad person, but I could be smarter and more mature? I'm making the effort to be the girl he wants but reality checks in and I fail. Sometimes I kick myself and sometimes I just realize that this is who I am and need to accept it. Sometimes I think he accepts me more than I accept myself. It is possible but what's impossible is to accept that they accept you. I can't be happy until I accept who I am and accept that he's fine with it. It has been a ride with this one and I feel most of it is because of this issue of mine. But there are times where I want to know the truth, if he hasn't made it more serious with me because he I'm not good enough. I just know it...I know if I was smarter and more mature that he would probably make a move already. He's said he's crazy about my personality, I'm attractive, we share similarities, etc. But those flaws of mine are something he exceeds in. He's smart and independent. I would love to hear him describe me to people "oh my girl is smart and beautiful." But there is no way he's going to say that, not even in a million years. I know I'm slow and it makes me depressed because its something you can't improve like losing weight or something. And I am mature but I know I can be more mature. I just choose not to because my personalty is silly and it can take over my maturity sometimes and you can't help but be yourself unless you're an amazing actor. So if only I didn't have those flaws of mine, I wonder if he would take me more seriously. What doesn't help either to accept that he accepts me, is how he hasn't taken us seriously. If he's so crazy about my personality then isn't that good enough? I feel like if he already made it official with me (even tho we're not in the right place to make it official) I wouldn't feel so insecure. Then I'd believe it more that he does accept me. I can have a conversation but I think he has stamped it on his head that he can't talk about the things he wants to talk about with me so he doesn't even try anymore. It sucks and I don't want to let him go but in order to feel less depressed about this, I feel like I should just leave and find someone who doesn't feel the need to dumb it down for me? But that's another thing, I love that he's smart and feel secured with him. I can't be with someone else who is less than him from now on. If only he felt that way about me. But deep inside, he can find someone better for sure.

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75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    Sleepless in ohio thinks you should find confidence in yourself before you get into a serious commitment with this guy. You need to feel good about yourself and not be concerned with this guys opinion, when deep down you know the only person that doesn't think you're good enough is you.

    I can tell you from experience this relationship will not workout if you're under the impression that he is at some level better than you, or that he can do better than you. Take a breather and let go of the relationship long enough for you to be able to restore some of your selfesteem and to look at it from a different point of view. I know it's difficult to see it when you're going through it but this isn't healthy. You sound like you're at different levels in your life, where he has more life experience and has a stable living while you're just starting.

    Yes stability and security are both things you look for in a person but only when you're secure in your own life, when you're at your own level of being able to stand on your own two feet without needing anyone to catch you when you fall.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      The only thing stopping me from letting him go are obviously my feelings. I feel so good about us and the potential is enormous, but the POTENTIAL.
      So with that being said, what if I don't completely let him go but keep in touch with him while I evolve into the person I want to be and want him to have? If I knew for sure we would meet in the end and be together, then I'd let him go completely and come back to him with a bang. But since I can't predict the future, I would want to keep this whole thing going on a mellow level while I evolve because I believe in that potential so bad. He already accepts me so i just have to kearn to accept myself and like you said, the truth is im the one who thinks im not good enough when hes fine with me.
      I can't let him out of my life completely. I rather not have met him at all than try to erase him.

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      • Fall_leaves
        9 years ago

        Girl do what you gotta do. There's potential in every relationship but you just have to decide whose worth it. Has he been honest and upfront with you? That's a big thing, if he's lied then you have to see that he's not worth it

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Honest and upfront about what ?
          He does joke around and sometimes is mean but kind of in a playful way bout some things I do that show I'm slow. Hes not like telling "hey you suck and aren't good enough for me and I can do better". I've heard that people disconnect not because of insecurities but because of the emptiness people create by not making sense of themselves. I felt like I can relate to that so much and I just need to work with what I have especially if it seems like he's okay with it.

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  • palepunk
    9 years ago

    but what are paragraphs

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      Apparently some sort of mystery concept to OP.

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