Is it normal if you know its never going to work out with the one you love?

50% Normal
5 Comments

Well maybe not NEVER, but at least not for a really long time if ever. I love this man I'm dating from his personality to his style. He is everything I always wanted. I think what connects us the most is our sense of humor. It's crazy because my ex was nothing what I wanted and this guy is everything I always wanted. It's like he was thrown at my face like "here this what you wanted."

But when it comes to compatibility, it's not there. I feel like the truth is I have to fix my issues in order to be more confident with him in a relationship and be happy like I know we can be. But for now, its such a disappointment whenever my issues get in the way of us bonding. I might have a social anxiety problem, and a mental issue so it sucks because besides that, I see the best potential with him. As much as I like him, I don't want to be in a relationship with him yet until I fix myself. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend either but we have talked about it so I'm kind of glad we are both not ready for a relationship for our own reasons. I would love to say yes if he asked me any time from now on but I can't. I want to grow and develop into the person I want to be to make it work and pursue the relationship I see with him. I see out families getting along and so much potential but my issues make an impact.

But this might sound delusional of me to think we're eventually going to end up together after I fixed myself because who knows what can happen from now on. So in reality, I'm just afraid that I can never be with the person I love and adore. And I should just keep him as like a portrait because it can never work together. Going back to him being thrown at my face, I feel like sometimes things you thought you wanted are thrown to your face for you to see that it's not what you needed. Maybe he is one of these things and it makes me sad that I can't make it work with someone I have always wanted. Is this normal?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 2 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • TimmyTheTurtle
    9 years ago

    what is love?! baby dont hurt me!

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    I don't get it when people say that shit. So when you are in a relationship you can't do anything for yourself or spiritually progress at all? U have yo be single to do it? To each their own, but I find it easier to do that when I have some one I really love and trust to share it with and take the journey with me. Its also easier to process things when you have someone to talk to like that.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    I'm going to disagree with your whole "fix yourself first" approach.

    Don't get me wrong, it makes a lot of sense, but the reality is that life often isn't easy & once you've solved your current problem(s) more will likely come along.

    There's NEVER a perfect time for big changes & sometimes you have to take opportunities like this while you have them.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I mean I get what you're saying. The time is now. There's never a time when you're finally ready. Don't wait until you're "ready" because I'm ready now. Or that's how its supposed to be.
      But others always say you have to seek happiness within yourself before in anybody else. And that's what I would like to do before settling w him so our relationship can blossom like I know it can.
      But like you said, I should just take the opportunity now since also maybe I'll lose him in the long run.

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      • derpyderp
        9 years ago

        I wouldn't seek out a relationship if I was in a bad place.
        But if the right person came my way (which recently happened!) I wouldn't turn it down either...

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