Is it normal if we still don't know each other well?

23% Normal

I've been seeing this guy since last year. Technically, we're single but "we've been seeing each other" meaning we spend a lot of time with each other. But the more you spend time with each other, the more you get to know the person and get closer. I don't feel like that coming from us at all. As much as I love him, I don't feel like I can be myself with him. I have met a few guys here and there and realize, I am myself with them but of all the guys, it's unfortunate that I'm in love with the one who I feel less myself with. I like him because one, he is my type, two, I feel like he is my twin and three, I see a lot of potential with us. I wish I can be myself with him like I was in the beginning. But now I feel like there's this wall where when I try to be myself, I bump into it and it just stops me. As for him, I do feel like he is himself with me but I also have a feeling that I haven't seen another part of him. I feel like he is also still not comfortable being himself with me like he can't tell me things or trust me. Idk if its all in my head because i can hear him saying "of course I trust you or else I wouldn't be with you all these times." But then again, all these times he holds back. Like I said, its been since last year and we have spent so many times together and I still don't feel like we know each other. We usually watch netflix, go out to the movies, go out to eat, and we have done some "activities" like paintball and golf. But its like during those times, we are just focused on doing those things and we don't get to know each other. I am 100% sure he has no idea what my favorite color is, what my favorite flower is, what's my favorite food, etc. It's sad. He spends time with me but at the same time, makes me feel like he lacks interest in me and just enjoys having a companion especially right now. He is going through getting his life together with a good job and goes to me for comfort but I feel like he only comes to me cause I'm all he has. Once he gets a good job and maybe a girl he really wants, he'll leave me. He lacks interest, yet he came to me first, and now he just avoids me. I almost feel like he's taking me for granted now cause he knows I'll always be there for him and when he doesn't have me for a while, he'll hit me up. It's like he doesn't know what he has until its gone.

Voting Results

23% Normal

Based on 13 votes (3 yes)

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Comments ( 15 )

mountain-man82

9 years ago

Dump him and move on. Hes not interested in a long term relationship with you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  What clues do you see to come to this conclusion? Just curious.
  
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  - mountain-man82
    
    9 years ago
    
    You said he doesnt know you that well and its been since last year. That tells me that he doesnt really want to get to know you that well. You even said that he makes you feel like hes not interested in you. If a man is truly interested in a woman he will make that know, will try to get to know everything about you, and will encourage you to be yourself around him.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah he makes me feel that way but when I'm gone he misses me so he doesn't know what he has until its gone. He has plenty of friends but I guess cause we hang out more, he feels closer to me so he chooses to come to me. Does he miss me for me or does he miss having someone close?
      
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      - mountain-man82
        
        9 years ago
        
        If he still doesnt know you that well, show no interest until you are gone, and you cant be yourself around him, then he isnt that into you. Obviously you arent going to listen to reason or your own words. You are going to remain stuck in that hopeless relationship, so why even ask any questions about it? You only want to hear what you want to hear, not the truth.
        
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Parky_Parker

9 years ago

He's not into you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Why do you think so?
  
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  - Parky_Parker
    
    9 years ago
    
    Because, this is what you wrote:
    
    "He spends time with me but at the same time, makes me feel like he lacks interest in me and just enjoys having a companion especially right now. He is going through getting his life together with a good job and goes to me for comfort but I feel like he only comes to me cause I'm all he has. Once he gets a good job and maybe a girl he really wants, he'll leave me. He lacks interest, yet he came to me first, and now he just avoids me. I almost feel like he's taking me for granted now cause he knows I'll always be there for him and when he doesn't have me for a while, he'll hit me up. It's like he doesn't know what he has until its gone."
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I don't know what to believe because like I said ^ when you realize something you had when its gone, what does that mean? Doesn't it mean he is interested because we have been together since last year so he hasn't kicked me out yet. Does it just mean it takes distance and space to make the other person realize what they had and then once we go back to each other, we would make it work?
      
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      - Parky_Parker
        
        9 years ago
        
        Not necessarily. Maybe he doesn't like to be single. Maybe he feels like he's in too deep to break up. Maybe he feels stuck.
        
        From an outsider's view, he doesn't seem to be interested in a serious relationship with you. He's settling for you. You are his safety cushion and the love is one sided. The sooner you break if off, the sooner you'll be able to move on with your life. Keeping him around will only prevent you from meeting a guy that can give you the love and affection you deserve.
        
        That's the reality. You can stay in a nonexclusive unhappy relationship and try to figure it out all you want, or you can break it off because you know you deserve more.
        
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TareBear20

9 years ago

Straight up, Parky_Parker, but why has no one suggested that she talk to her boyfriend? I feel like people these days are so stuck into facebook and other social media, that face to face communication has become a chore to our society. That is why I have recently deactivated mine and already feel one million times better than I did yesterday. Communication is key in any relationship. People need to stop going to strangers for help and turn their attention to the people that are whats troubling them... Foolish...

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Well sometimes you need an outsider's point of view for input but yes the majority of the decision needs to come from yourself.
  And I always try to communicate with him but he has a really bad habit of avoiding the conversation. That's just who he is, I don't think is anything personal. He seems to be like that with everyone else when things get emotional or serious that doesn't have to do with business or work. I guess thats it...he lacks emotion and expression. I try my best to break it down and not get too emotional and have succeeded a little but not where there's been improvement. Its just hard to communicate with him when you try to get things out of him but he won't budge. He's even admitted he sucks at conversations like these so I've come to accept it but its hard to deal with.
  
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  - TareBear20
    
    9 years ago
    
    Very true. The best you can do is to keep trying to open him up. It may be a slow and long process, but it's only the good things that are worth fighting for.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Right. I believe he is worth fighting for. I rather deal with his shenanigans than anyone else's.
      
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      - TareBear20
        
        9 years ago
        
        Understandable. My boyfriend has schizophrenia, bi-polar and extreme anxiety and he's still better than everyone else to me. He's unique and I love him dispite every bad thing we've gone through. Sure, I've almost giving up on us, but that's part of being human and I wouldn't want him to be any other way.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal if we still don't know each other well?