Is it normal if i wish i had feelings for someone?

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9 Comments

I feel really bad for my ex for what he had to go through with me. I guess because I'm kind of experiencing it right now but not really, it's a little different. But my ex really loved me, I think I was his first love. He was my first bf so I started out pretty well and had no bad experiences prior to that relationship so in a way I guess I didn't know what I had. If I had dated douchebags before him then sure I would've appreciated him more. I had come across douchebags like flirting wise but I always had the upper hand. I never let a guy walk all over me hell no I was so confident until now w my current situation because he's my first love. However, my ex deserved this love more than my bf soon to be ex. But I just don't have the feelings for him. It sucks to love someone so freaken much and they don't look at you the same way like why dammit?! How is it possible to have a love so deep to be one sided? It's one of the most unfair things to exist. I understand how my ex feels and respect that he doesn't wanna hear from me cause it hurts too much. I would like to contact him just to hang out but I know that's gonna hurt him because he's still not getting what he wants which is my love. Same with my bf. I do wanna keep hearing from him but I think based on the recent events, it does seem like it'll hurt. You really have to cut them off for good for your own sanity even though all you wanna do is have them in your life.

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76% Normal
Based on 25 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • NeilYounger
    7 years ago

    What your ex once felt for you he no longer feels. That ship has sailed. Those feelings of his for you that you remember so fondly are more than likely the last thing on his mind. Sounds like you went cold on him. Why would he chance having that happen again? I don't think women fully realize what a profound effect that kind of thing can have on a man. He more than likely doesn't even want to give you the time of day. Good for him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      My ex told me to not contact him at all but I dont think thats a good idea exactly cause you're just running away from the problem.

      Right now with my bf, if our split is official, we kind of agreed to still have each other on social media. Yeah itll suck but I think deep inside, having each other in our lives some way keeps us sane. But we wont know until we give it a try.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I know if I pop back into his life his feelings will come back because thats how itll feel with my bf if we were to split. When Im minding my own business, laughing, having fun, etc, great it looks like Ive moved on but thats not the case because I know when my bf's name pops up I suddenly feel more alive. The times where have broken up for a bit, its happened. Sometimes Im "moving on" but then he come back and my feelings are still there. I dont think its really "moving on" until you can face that person and not have feelings for them anymore. So based on my experience, Im def doing my ex a favor by not contacting him because I have a feeling if I do, hes going to be like "oh no..." and his feelings will appear and hell get depressed cause he knows he cant have me like he wants me. Im confident about this cause its what Im going through with my bf right now.

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  • FORUMidableFucker
    7 years ago

    So just leave them both then if it isn't worth your time.

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  • Digsbie
    7 years ago

    Love and karma work in mysterious ways. Its a life lesson to learn what you pur your ex thru. One can never control how someone else will feel about you. You just have to do the best that you can and hope that the right relationship will find you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah this is def karma, karma is REAL.It's not like Im a bad person but somehow I had to experience what my ex went through, its probably a blessing. So the best thing that can happen is having my third relationship be a combination of them two where I am loved and I love them back. But who knows, maybe my bf does love me, he just doesn't know it. Hes admitted hes never said I love you to his past relationships, and they were long term and serious ones so he was very unclear about his perception on saying I love you. I think he meant to say that it doesnt make a difference whether you say it or not. I think hes just afraid or weird about it. So actually the best thing that can happen is if I end up with my bf. I dont want anyone else but then I think my ex prob thought the same thing-he didnt want anyone else even if he knew I didn't love him back-and look Im not gonna be with him.

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  • FORUMidableFucker
    7 years ago

    Maybe your boyfriend just cannot express his love for you due to hating himself,surely if an outside source can see he is acting like a douche-bag than he can too. Your best bet is if you really love your boyfriend is to try to help him with his problems, but if these problems are serious and deep they will require a lot of effort and/or time to fix and if you don't think he is worth it leave him and go with your ex and he will love you as you wish. Just be cautious as it sounds like you care about them both and remember you ex is always available but your current boyfriend may not be if you leave him now.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      No I dont think I can be with my ex, I wish but I can't because I dont have feelings for him so Id just be wasting both of our times. Im not gonna be with someone just cause they love me, I wanna love them, too, just like I love my bf. I love him and wish he felt the same way. Like you said, maybe he does considering all the stuff hes done that show me he is into me but then there are just other stuff that show me hes not into me. Its really 50/50 with him. Ive been there patient enough for him to express his feelings but he doesn't do it. It takes him a while to have a conversation and express how he feels. I dont think he appreciates me being patient with him so that doesn't feel good. I cant be patient anymore when its not getting reciprocated.

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  • sandnigga
    7 years ago

    Why dont you have feelings for you current boyfriend?

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