Is it normal if i want to trick him because...?

45% Normal
7 Comments

I'm always having doubts if my "bf" really does care about me or just thinks he should when really he could care less. I understand when we were just dating but after a few arguments with him saying "he does care about me" "he does wanna be with me" "Im crazy for thinking these things" etc, idk if I'm just suffering from low self-esteem and think there's no way he would care about me. Some of the evidence that lead to feel this way is gosh where do I start...well he always talks about himself, his goals, his plans, his life, his family, etc and doesn't ask me about my life, my goals, my family, etc.

As for me, I do care about him, maybe too much. I don't think its getting reciprocated. He also jokes a lot so sometimes he'll start playing around saying I'm not listening to him, I don't care about him, and I'm like hello? are you fucken around or you are blind and ungrateful and don't see how much I do care and love you? Idk if I should take him seriously when he says those things and if he is serious, its not fair for him to think I always have to cater to him and he doesn't have to. When I talk, he doesn't listen to me, most of the time. He doesn't ask me about my life. If I don't ask him about how his day was or something, he's prob going to bring it up one day when we argue about this and say "you don't ask about my day" and make it seem like I'm the ungrateful, self-centered, careless one.

I do feel alone in this relationship and it really surprises me when he shows some nurturing. Lately, he has been putting more effort to show me I do mean something to him and I like it, I don't feel that alone but at the same time, I feel like he's doing it so I can shut up and not because he actually cares. I asked the other day when we were joking around, "is she (meaning me) important to you?" and he quickly says "YES" like yes shut up and stop. But if he really didn't care or like me, he wouldn't be here with me right now especially after all those arguments. Or he wouldn't try to put the effort like he has been. But all those other clues Ive listed just get me confused. He'll yell at me saying I am crazy for thinking this but when I bring up the evidence, he can't justify them so in other words, my evidence is legit. He'll just say "thats how I am" or "I don't realize I'm doing something wrong so Idk how to fix it."

So I want to basically pretend like something really bad has happened to me to see how he reacts and if he really does care. I don't care if he'll get upset finding out it was just me pretending. I have one thing to worry about right now and thats to consider continuing this relationship. I feel like its the only way to really see how much he cares about me.

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 20 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • omgcatz
    9 years ago

    No it's not normal. Most people hate drama. Just appreciate what you have because lack of trust will ruin it, especially if you get CAUGHT. If he's a douche then break it off, don't make elaborate schemes just to "test" his douchiness. By the way, it's "couldn't" care less, not "could". If he could care less it means the opposite of what you meant.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    drama can be tiresome be careful what you say

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    Yeah faking an accident or lying about something is a GREAT idea.. Listen if you have this much insecurity and doubt you shouldn't be in a relationship. If you're questioning the relationship, then end it now. Find someone else because he's not going to change and you're going to continue questioning his actions. If there are this many problems now, they'll continue to multiply.

    I would never do something that awful to someone I love. I wouldn't fake or lie to see what there reaction would be, that's not a laughing matter, you don't play with people's emotions like that.

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    • Dazed_dreamer
      9 years ago

      Pretty much summed up what I wanted to say.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      By the clues I listed that show he does and doesn't care, what can you tell from my post? Do you think he does care or not? I know you don't know us personally but by the way my post sounds, what do you think ?
      I really do love him and care about him so I wish I didn't have to do this but yeah I am really insecure about the way he feels about me because of all these confusing signs. I want to believe him when he says he does care about me cause he hasn't left me or anything but actions do speak louder than words unfortunately, and some of his actions just don't compliment his words.

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      • Fall_leaves
        9 years ago

        Look I was in an on again off again relationship, it lasted five years and basically I was plagued with doubt for the entirety of the relationship. It went something like this, he would say he loved me and then two weeks later he would be an asshole and we would fight and he would ignore me and then text me that he missed me.

        He probably does legitimately care about you but that doesn't mean you should put up with someones bullshit. If you're not happy with his actions and he's not giving you the attention you want in a relationship then end it. It's not even worth it to be with someone when you're constantly questioning their sincerity

        Do as you say or don't say it at all.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I think it's just a matter of actions speak louder than words. I'm not expecting him to drive all the way to my house and bring me medication especially cause he's manager and works all day every day. But at least something like "I'll see if I can come to you this weekend okay."

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