Is it normal if i want to do the opposite?

80% Normal
10 Comments

It seems like the ideal thing to do when it comes to dating and relationships is to find the one that sparks you emotionally not just sexually. Well what if I do just want to have fun and be with someone who is attractive to me but more on the sexual side? I am single and still recovering from my last relationship which ended in the beginning of summer. He was my first love and I'll always love him. He was and still is special to me. But I am doing better now and feel more like myself again. So I had my experience with the one who sparks me "emotionally" not just in a sexual way and at the moment, I'm not looking for another serious relationship or to get all emotionally attached again. But I do kind of want someone because I miss having that kind of company. However, I'm not the type to just go around and sleep with whomever. So the guy I choose to be this "lose" way with is attractive to me not just looks wise but personality wise. There is someone right now who realistically I can't see myself being serious with unless he surprises me but I can see myself having a fun fling with him. So I'm going from this serious relationship person to just having fun without getting too emotionally involved. It sounds okay but something tells me I'm going backwards? Is this normal?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 10 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    A better idea is to get into a real relationship with a more sexual man. Sleeping around without any commitment is how a lot of women reach bad ends.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I dont think so, Im not looking for another real relationship. I want my next thing with a guy to be with less responsibilities, more carefree, free-spirited, etc.

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      • riffraffy
        7 years ago

        Well, I never said that what you wanted was the best idea! Just remember that these are the years you're at your most attractive, and that this is the time to find your best quality mate.

        A lot of women don't realize this until it's too late, and they're damaged goods—bad ends.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    What you're doing is normal.

    Basically, you're coping with your heartbreak by avoiding relationships for a while. It's actually the best thing to do; because it gives you time to heal, get over your ex fully, and understand yourself more, while exploring your sexual side. This will benefit your next serious relationship (when you're ready), because not only will you see the next guy as his own person (and not a clone of your ex), but you can love him instead of falling back on habits from the preivous relationship.

    Just use protection (condoms especially, if you're unsure of their sexual history). Make sure you're honest about your intentions with your sexual partners, because some guys will silently think that sex = "she's my gf now," and will become possessive, so just make it clear to them it's just sex and nothing more.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      And yes I truly don't feel like settling down with anyone at the moment, I enjoy being single but I like having someone here and there so that's where I'm coming from.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Do you think telling him I dont want anything seriously but just a fling will help? meaning sex and a little more like going out together, hanging out, possibly establishing a set of rules such as we can't see other or sleep with other people while we're associated with each other? Personally, I wouldnt wanna be sleeping with someone who is sleeping with others at the same time. I feel if I do tell him this, he'll look at me as controlling or it'll lead to some tension and drama in the long-run, what do you think? Because this isn't just a friends with benefits thing, thats not what I'm looking for either.

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      • Tealights
        7 years ago

        "Meaning sex and a little more like going out together, hanging out, possibly establishing a set of rules such as we can't see other or sleep with other people while we're associated with each other?"

        ....That's a mongamous, exclusive relationship. A commitment. It seems you still want a serious relationship, but less overbearing than your last. Only way to get that is to pick your next man wisely with a personality that is more easy-going and compatible.

        It would be best to find a Friends With Benefits (http://m.wikihow.com/Start-a-Friends-With-Benefits-Relationship) for your sexually needs, and hang out with friends for fun, while rediscovering yourself so you don't feel the need to have someone. Or simply not date for a while and just focus on healing and your needs.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          Well like I said i don't just sleep or mess around with anyone so regardless I would still be selective about who I decide to get with even if its just a fling. I think it does depend how much I like them. If I like them a lot I probably wouldnt want them to be with other girls. If they're just fun and I like them a little, I might let them be and do whatever they want. But to be honest, Im not comfortable personally to be with someone while theyre with others. So if thats the case, I rather be completely single and not date at all.

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  • SarahB
    7 years ago

    In mu opinion something like this depends on the type of person you are, you may be able to do "just a fling thing" and be friend and it will be fine, but on the other side you may fall for him (not thinking you will but you do) but he doesnt fall you and you will end up getting all upset about it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah thats definitely a possibility which I have to be careful about to not get too emotionally attached. Although I dont plan to, it can happen but most likely because I don't plan to, I'll be able to brush it off as opposed to getting upset over it.

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