Is it normal if i want move out again?

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I just got back from college and yes it was the time of my life so far. It was just what I needed to do what i want, meet new people, and cultivate a new life. Some people like where they come from, others don't. I don't. I will always value and embrace where I came from but that doesn't mean I have to stay there forever and never change and conform to that world forever. Also, I never had real friends or friends that I saw myself be friends with forever here. I knew there was something better for me and not saying I found it but def found something better than what I had at home. Now that I'm back, of course I'm depressed and don't really have anyone out here since I lost contact with everyone while I was in college. Don't regret it because like I said I never had something valuable here to begin with so basically I didn't lose anything. But it does make me seek out for more again and discover a new world. But close friends of mine here and family look at me like no you're from here and that was just a vacation like wtf? that urks me cause no people have different experiences and my experience in college was amazing and that was my life and I feel like I left my life over there. I might be back physically but mentally I'm over there. I don't see anything wrong with having a new life somewhere else other than where you came from but people get so butthurt or jealous that you've moved on and you're growing, not just staying in the same place. So I am looking forward to move again and move away. There's homy people and then there's distant, individual people which I believe there's nothing wrong with them. Like we're not bad people, we just feel more comfortable away from where we came from and just wanna keep moving up.

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Comments ( 5 )
  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    It's a crappy situation to be in for sure. Sometimes people show signs of not fitting in even before they go away. I'm guessing you had those signs? But I'm guessing even that may not help to convince people that you were always meant to fit in somewhere else and it's not about belittling your hometown

    In such a situation I just develop a "fuck it" attitude. Some people won't change their mind no matter what, and so you accept the situation might forever be a stalemate and move on. As long as a person's intentions are clean, it should matter little what people think. If I make genuine attempts to make people understand and they are hellbent on thinking otherwise, making you wonder if their primary goal is to make you feel bad, I let out my inner asshole and I feed their delusions. "Yeahhh, you are spot on, I totally don't give a shit about etc etc"

    I'm not recommend you do the same though :P well, at least not officially recommending *cough*

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I do the same thing! So its not like you're recommending it since I'm already there :p I dislike it when I sense people trying to make me feel bad when I already feel bad. Just cause I'm not walking with my head down doesn't mean I don't feel bad enough, I'm just an optimistic person who avoids stress and I'm happy to have that gift. But in order to satisfy others I feel bad, I need to come off as depressed I guess. But anywho, I agree about the "fuck it" attitude cause I think I've already developed it. The only time time I get irritated is when its coming from people I'm close w and can't get rid of like family. If I can get rid of the ones trying to put me down well I would but I can't cause its family and I have to deal w their bs. So rather than saying "fuck it" I try to explain it to them but hopefully I develop the courage to finally let it go and let them thnk whatever they want and soon they'll realize I wasn't in the wrong the whole time.

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      • TrustMeImLying
        9 years ago

        Well one of the reasons I said to have that attitude is because sometimes I've noticed Alex will persist with acting a certain way towards Sandy more if it gets to Sandy. Pretending to be depressed or affected by what your fam says/thinks will pacify and placate them sure, but I feel it may also enable them to keep being that way. Maybe they feel they can still change their mind. Whereas resisting and trying to defend yourself always fuels an argument as well.

        I'm not suggesting be disrespectful to your family. The "fuck it" is more an internal way of hamdling it. It's hard for me to describe this but there's a middle ground where you can reach and say "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it is what it is" and really mean it without feeling bad or being affected by it *shrug*. Of course this is not easy to do emotionally, especially not for a person who is optimistic or people-pleasing, but it does seem like you need to brave this situation for just a little longer as you're getting there. Who knows maybe they just want you to stay because they secretly want you around. Know that even if you upset them with your persistence, they will eventually come around to the fact and accept it.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    It's normal but you see, in your pursuit of "moving up" or moving onto better things/places... in other people's eyes you are in turn putting down where you came from. That's just what it comes off as, regardless of your intention or humility, and so your word choice becomes critical. Self-improving or fitting are maybe more effective words than better/up. The key though is understanding the impression they are getting and then conveying that it's not that your home(town) doesn't have no value anymore, but that it's that people change, and you simply don't fit anymore etc.

    You can even throw the "As long as I have a want I have a reason for living" quote in there by Bernard Shaw, but don't you dare forget to cite him. Jk. Sorta

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yeah apparently Ive been giving off this "ungrateful" and "not humble" vibe to everyone where I came from. The thing is, people make a living in different ways and I never had a life where I came from and when I was in college, I finally got a life and thats what I try to convey to others. I didn't fit in where I came from and I found somewhere I do fit in and thats all there is to it. I don't want to come off as "Im better than everyone here" but def I have different taste than everyone here and its not my fault. The first thing pple think is I'm not humble but thats just jumping to conclusions without me explaining and seeing where I'm coming from.

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