Is it normal if i think i'm too bitchy for him?

64% Normal

I am known to stand up for myself and not take sh*t from anyone. But when I met my bf, it all changed. I was still the same but when i was with him, I became so vulnerable and so passive. I was just so drawn into him. I have never felt this way before. Its been a little over a year now and yeah there has been ups and downs like in every relationship but every time he would piss me off, I would just hold in my anger that would normally make me walk away and just deal with it. One, its because its a natural feeling to not blow up at him and instead, swallow my bitchiness and let it go. Two, I feared that me really showing those colors would chase him away and that's the last thing I wanted. But at the same time, he does these things that confuse and hurt me and sometimes I do just want to be a bitch to him and elt him know that he is not walking all over me, I am just being really patient with him, he has no idea. It's been a while now and I have shown that side of me to him a little and it goes bad just like I expect it to go. Plus, he can also be an asshole and so stubborn with sucha short temper when you piss him off so it's such a frustrating feeling that I hate dealing with. So I hold in that side and friends and family realize that's not like of me. But the thing is, I really love this guy and he makes me want to be patient, something I really suck at doing but at the same time, I feel like a doormat sometimes with him. If I confront him about something, I feel like I look like a crazy person and he just looks at me like I'm just blabbering and killing everything. Idk how to fix all of this in order to be more healthy. I hate it when girls get egotistic and start acting all that like losing that guy doesn't bother them. It very well does bother them, they just put on that mask to not look weak. In contrast, I wouldn't want to risk losing this guy by putting on a stupid act and at the end of the day, I just wanted to be with him.

Voting Results

64% Normal

Based on 11 votes (7 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

derpyderp

9 years ago

Haven't read the other comments but if things are real between you two you shouldn't have to control yourself one bit.
You should be able to act 100% natural, effortlessly, all the time.
I understand you're not being someone else but by the sounds of it you're not being yourself either...

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CoraCook

9 years ago

I understand. More than I'd like to. People do that. Love (or obsession) isn't something you can translate in words properly. Do you know how much you actually love this man? Or do you just want to "win"?

I do understand the feeling of "I just wanted to be with him!. Some people just aren't available,....

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I dont want to win, I'm just really passionate about him and care for him. I don't want anyone else and I feel like I won't find someone else who makes me feel like he does or at least itll be a really long time. He got me feeling vulnerable and felt things so naturally like for the first time, I genuinely like someone.
  
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Fugazi,again

7 years ago

Stop bein bitchy then duh

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green_boogers

9 years ago

Question 1. Does he make you want to be a better woman? If the answer is yes then go to question 2.

Question 2. How will he respond when he realizes what you don't like? If he gives a stubborn response, but changes his attitude a half hour later, you may be able to work with that. If not, find a new guy.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Ugh omg, I mean yes to question 1 and question 2 already describes what I've gone through with him For example, when I was seriously getting mentally and emotionally prepared to say bye to him, I told him what I was feeling and at the end he jst lost his temper cause I'm not going to say "okay were good now" I'm going to keep talking about the situation until i feel convinced he's answering me in a genuine way. He's like "well idk then fuck it. All we do is fight so lets stop this and not give ourselves stress okay." Wasn't even going to opposed to that. Instead I said "I'm moving tomorrow and just wanted to say bye but I know u don't give a shit so okay." He didn't respond until the next night and said "do u wanna talk cause I do give a shit." So we talked and so on and now we're here. That was a while ago. But so I confronted him then he was just so stubborn like always acting he didn't do anything wrong and always justifies the problem then he eventually came to realize he does care I guess.
  
  He says he likes how I talk in these conversations cause Im thorough as opposed to him. But thats only because I'm trying very hard not to bitch him out. Oh and I just realized actually, thats not entirely true. Like right now I feel like putting him on the spot once again and take it seriously this time meaning, don't be nice. However, once I'm there in the presence of him, without him saying anything, I naturally start confronting him but in a nice way. Like my bitchy side won't even come out. To be honest, I usually feel like crying out of control when I confront him because it hurts hard when you love hard and dealing with someone stubborn and not serious most of the time doesn't help at all.
  
  I know it sounds like he keeps fucking up but its not even about his actions. Its these small shady things that make me want to sock him in the face. Some of them are, he hasn't introduced me to him family although they know of me but he's introduced his last fling which seemed like less serious than us cause she was only here for a while. Like wtf is wrong with me then? Another is how he doesn't show me to people and that includes in public and on social media. In public, he'll show me affection but when we're around friends or acquaintances he pretty much avoids giving me affection as if he wants to come off single. I dnt mind him not showing me on instagram or fb cause we're not official I get it, not like snapchat? I show him on mine most of the time I'm with him and the other day he had the chance to show me and he literally skipped me...like wtf? It might sound funny cause its social media but its the truth. Does he want to come off as single and keep me in background? These are things I'm going to confront him about next and I don't think he can get off on this one. He lied to me once which I will bring it up again and he might lie to me again.
  
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  - green_boogers
    
    9 years ago
    
    So OK. We are back to Question 2. You are going around in circles. Your sense of hope is deluding you. All the while, you know less and less about what you want. It isn't supposed to work this way. Let him go.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I kno sorry for the essay but I wanted to get all the details out there plus my frustration. But ya I have so much hope but its cause I'm crazy about him but like u said its deluding me. He also doesn't know what he wants cause we have separated twice and he's come back to me both times. He wants me but he doesn't want a relationship and what is so funny is I could've given him that with the old me but when ur head over heels about someone, you dnt want just an open relationship or just be friends. Its either all or nothing. But I also don't want a relationship yet I want him. But I want him more than he wants me pretty sure so I'm willing to settle down for a relationship.
      My wish would be for him to be less stubborn and more patient. But like the common saying goes "you can't change a man you love. A man can only change for a woman he loves."
      
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      - green_boogers
        
        9 years ago
        
        Shhhhh.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        What ? No !
        
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        blacklady
        
        9 years ago
        
        cum in my ass cum in my ass
        
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Splithead

9 years ago

It sounds like you're growing as a person. Help him grow too. Be honest, let him know that you've been hiding part of yourself, let him know you're kind of hsppy about it because you used to have less self control but tell him that even though it's great and all it kind of sucks sometimes and that you dobt think it's healthy to always bottle things up. Tell him you see his short temper and say you have something similar in order to help him understand. Tell him you both need to get better at handling your anger and communicating because you feel like you've really got a good thing going and these last little things may move it to an even more awesome place.

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(s)aint

9 years ago

I have an awful temper as well, you should definitely tell him when he does something that upsets you though!
I'm the sort of person who gets upset over nonsense-reasons so whenever I know that I have no right to be annoying, i try to shut up and if I can't i say "Sorry, i know i'm wrong but currently i'm upset because ..."

I disagree with what others say, if you are moody DON'T take it out on him ...that's how I have ruined so many relationships and I'm still struggling to try and improve myself.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah I don't think me not acting like a bitch is a bad thing lol. He makes me want to take a deep breath before I lash out like I usually do and that should def mean something. He means a lot to me and I don't want to let my temper chase him away. I don't like having an ego. Idc if I look weak. I rather look weak because thats the truth to the situation than put on an act and look like nothing bothers me and live a fake life. So he's making me a better person.
  
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  - (s)aint
    
    9 years ago
    
    But as said, tell him about what makes you a bit upset but be calm about it.
    
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Normal to a degree, but not exactly the smart thing to do.

I mean, let me get this straight. You're pretending to be someone you aren't for fear of losing this guy, and he has a short temper to boot? Damn girl, if I were you I'd let my bitch out next time he blows that short fuse of his and see how the fuck he likes it.

Unless of course you're afraid he'll get violent or something, then all bets are off and it's time to walk, honey. Try to imagine living a lifetime as someone you aren't just to keep someone who's probably not all that. Ask your friends and family what they think of all this. I would pay particular attention to what your guy friends say.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I saw it more as a good thing. I'm not acting like someone else, I'm just controlling my bitchy side more when it comes to him. The point is idk if I like it or not since yeah I have felt vulnerable and its a good feeling to a certain extent but I also don't like the thought of me being a doormat to him. Maybe he doesn't see me that way and its all in my head but still, it can be a buzzkill.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    I dunno about you, but I see a short temper as well as a bad temper as a major character defect. If some guy is gonna raise his voice at me I open the kennel door and let my champion bitch out! Also I honestly don't see the sense in acting differently around one person than the rest. Its not practical especially if the person is not especially nice or respectful toward me.
    
    I only curb my bitch for sweet, little old ladies, tiny children and gentle animals. I don't believe in giving the best of me to those who are eager to show me their ugly side.
    
    Are you afraid to be alone? If I were you I'd pay more attention to my friends and family than my emotions on this one.
    
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal if i think i'm too bitchy for him?