Is it normal if i talk good about my bf to others but i know hes not?

I've been doing this since the day I met him. Of course, there were times where I genuinely was extremely happy with him and couldn't stop gushing about him and things were actually going great. But recently things aren't that great. So even when things aren't going well, I still tend to talk in a good way about him to others whenever the subject comes up. It's so weird. Ill be by myself thinking negatively of him but then when Im with others and I explain how Im feeling hurt, I still defend him and us. Friends or family will say "hes this, hes that, you deserve better..." and yeah I know that inside but something also inside still wants to defend him and make him look good. It's like a whole other level of being in denial. I dont know but talking badly about him to others doesn't feel right. Yet, when Im by myself, all I could think of is how mad I am at him. I guess whatever we have/had was really meaningful to me that speaking negatively about it, doesn't feel right. Sometimes as I speak good things of him or make excuses for him, I'm like "why am I talking about him in a good way? you know hes no good." It's not that hes a bad person (see here I go again) but he hasn't been the best bf. Is this just love? I love him so much that it doesn't feel right to bash him? In a straight up way, if I had to choose everyone else or him, I'd choose him.