Is it normal if i play with guys' feelings to get something out of it?

37% Normal
17 Comments

I know it sounds bad but its not really like that. I like seeing where the guy stands kind of like test him. Right now, the guy that I've been with and seeing I have really strong feelings for him and the last thing I would wanna do is hurt him. But he is so confusing that it has lead me to wanna test him and see if he means what he says which is yeah he does like me but he is "shy." I'm kind of ignoring him right now but basically giving him what he gives me most of the time. He avoids my texts or responds and it has nothing to do with what I said. He can act casual in person as if nothing has happened between us before. It is so irritating. It sucks but I kind of enjoy messing with him and see if he chases me or not. If he doesn't like me then he won't care I'm messing with him right now. If he does, he will make a move. You can be shy but after a period of time and certain experiences, I think you shouldn't be this shy where its like I'm talking to a stranger...IF he likes me.

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 41 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Thatguy777
    10 years ago

    One time I waited a while to make a tell a girl how I felt because, A: I wanted it to be special, and the chance never came, and B: I didn't want to ruin the friendship which is what happened. Maybe he thinks you just like him as a friend, so he's afraid to lose you altogether.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      No for sure he knows I like him way more. I think he knows that I have the strongest feelings out of the two of us.

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  • JoMama123451234
    10 years ago

    Its very normal and necessary for girls to test guys to weed out potentially dangerous or weak men but usually it's sub conscience. You probably do test him without realizing it. I don't see a problem with this.

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  • Yeeksies
    10 years ago

    Been there done that. First, you are not necessarily playing games by holding back on the focus/affection/attention you are giving him when it's not coming from him at the same level consistently. Some people fall hard early & have to give themselves limits or they put too much effort & love into someone who does not return the same level of interest. These people sometimes have to hold back a bit and not let their actions & feelings get so far ahead of them.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Playing immature little games like this is not going to make the situation between you two better by any means. But honestly I could really care less about your problem and whatever outcome comes out of it.

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  • Shelbs
    10 years ago

    It's really not normal to test men unless you're insecure. If he's shy then you might have to make the first move. He might not even know that you like him with all of the playing around your doing.

    "If he doesn't like me then he won't care I'm messing with him right now. If he does, he will make a move."

    It really depends on how you're messing with him. He might be just as confused as you.

    "You can be shy but after a period of time and certain experiences, I think you shouldn't be this shy where its like I'm talking to a stranger...IF he likes me."

    It could be the opposite. If he likes you, then he becomes more shy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thats what I thought at first is he probably does like me so he holds back but its more about being comfortable w me now and not act like sucha stranger especially if we've done so much. It sucks like all those good times are meaningless if you're not gonna grow along with it and become comfortable w me.

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  • Roger_Maxson
    10 years ago

    He won't make a move if you mess with him. Have you actually tried showing him that you like him in any way, or did you just go straight to messing with him. I don't understand your rationale behind messing with a guy's feelings if you like him though. Maybe the reason you feel he is messing with you is because he doesn't like you because he doesn't know you like him since you mess with him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I guess I failed to mention that YES I am the one who makes all the moves and gives him affection which is why it is so irritating cause I look like some sorta attention whore trying to get him to do something but he wnt and I just look bad. I like him so much that its really hard to ignore him sometimes but I need to find out how much he likes me.

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      • Roger_Maxson
        10 years ago

        Exactly how are you showing your affection, and what do you expect to see him do in return to show his possible affection?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I am always grabbing his hand, giving him kisses, caressing him and yea etc. It's not like he backs away but I would like him to come to me, kiss me without me initiating it, grab MY hand, etc. Hes been making moves lately tho and it makes me so happy. Its the smallest things that count like him looking at me and smiling or him coming towards me to kiss me. And he's been doing that which I love but its not the first time he's done this and went back to being a stranger so I don't wanna get my hopes up again. Its like he lacks being persistent. And again it could be cause he is shy but idc he should be comfortable by now.

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          • Roger_Maxson
            10 years ago

            How long has this been going on? Don't assume that he "should" be comfortable by now. I know for me it takes me quite a long time to feel that comfortable with the girl I like because I have been led on and crushed pretty hard before. If he had a bad previous experience with another girl he may just be afraid that you'll hurt him again.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              For like 4 months...
              Sigh...like right now were together and I'm giving him affection and he doesn't go with it he rather watch tv like wtf (excuse my language). If he's not interested then he needs to tell me or else Imma walk away. And when he notices I'm not givin him attention he comes to me. He is confused and needs to grow balls that's it

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    So, he is to make a move, and if he doesn't he isn't worth it. So what are you doing? Have you made a move in a manner you want him to?

    Ugh. Women.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Like I said above I guess I failed to mention that I do make the moves and it's obvious that I like him. That's why it hurts more being confused bout how he feels about me.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        What moves do you make? I may be able to help from a guy's perspective.

        Reason I ask this is because some girls think smiling is enough to show the guy she likes him.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          No we've already hooked up, we've gone out, and more and that's why I don't understand why he acts like a stranger sometimes. Its probably as simple as he doesn't know how to make a move cause he's shy. But idc if he's shy. It was okay in the beginning but he should feel comfortable with me by now. Right now he actually has been improving...maybe because of what I've been doing (messing w him). He probably realized he was losing me so now he's making moves but at the same time I don't wanna get my hopes up cause he can always go back to being a stranger again. He's done it before.

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